


I Fought the Fade, and the Fade Won

by madsoftheshire



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Asexual Inquisitor, Awkward Crush, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/F, Friendship, Guilt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Sassy Inquisitor, Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt, Swearing, still gay though, the angst is strong with this one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-02-26 03:51:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 77,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madsoftheshire/pseuds/madsoftheshire
Summary: Beatrix Jones was your average college senior, just trying to survive her last semester, when fate decided to intervene. Courtesy of a tear in the Fade (and the very fabric of the Universe), she somehow ended up in Thedas as the Herald of Andraste and the Leader of the Inquisition. Small problem: she knows next to nothing about this strange new world and even less about how to exist in it. Luckily, she has the best men and women of Thedas on her side to help her along the way.  [Warning: Strong Language] Updated on Thursdays.





	1. It All Begins Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> I found this tag on the Tumblr, and for some reason this idea lodged itself in my head and refused to leave. So here we are. This is just a nice glossed over intro for our little tale.

Beatrix would never know what possessed her to go for a jog that morning. Maybe it was Max’s persistent nagging that she would be the first to go in the apocalypse due to her complete lack of any useful wilderness skills and lackluster fitness. Maybe it was the whole new year new me mentality that New Year’s always brings. Or maybe everything that followed was meant to happen. Regardless, there she was jogging her little heart out. The woods near their apartment were always pretty to meander through even in winter, but today she was cursing the trees and the path and the sky and pretty much everything she could see. The path felt longer than she remembered it being, but she chalked it up to the fact that she was jogging in freezing temperatures at the butt crack of dawn.

  
Ahead of her on the path, a high voice called out for help. Beatrix had played scenarios like this in her head a million times, and she did exactly what she had mentally practiced and ran straight towards the voice. She ran faster than she knew she could as the voice got more and more desperate. The woman calling for help sounded elderly and vaguely French, which was weird for a college campus in the middle of England, but Beatrix didn’t question it.

  
She finally reached the ravine the voice seemed to be coming from. Only, no one was there. Beatrix slowly and carefully climbed down into the ravine. Feet firmly on the snowy ground, she called out, “Hello? Where are you?” She wandered down the ravine a ways and nearly tripped over a metal ball slightly buried beneath the snow. It was roughly the size of a basketball and was covered in detailed etchings in some dead language she didn’t recognize. As she picked it up to get a better look at it, she heard the voice ringing in her ears and her vision went black.

  
Everything that followed in her memory were just flashes: a light at the top of a hill, running towards it, giant spiders, the light reaching out. Then, more blackness until she woke up chained up in a prison surrounded by guards. Her hand felt like it was on fire. She looked down to it to see it radiating an acidic green light. She choked back a scream and tried to focus on anything else, like where the hell she was. Before she could truly get her bearings, the door to the prison flew open and two intimidating women dressed in what looked like medieval armor entered.

  
The one with the short dark hair and all the scars started to circle her. She stopped directly behind Beatrix and menacingly said, “Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now.”

  
It was safe to say Beatrix was in a full blown panic. She started attempting to stammer out an answer, but only managed to ask, “Where am I?”

  
“Haven,” was the only response from the very intimidating woman behind her.

  
“I’m sorry. I don’t know where that is.” There was laughter from the guards that was quickly silenced by a look from the ginger woman in front of her, “I - I’m very confused. Why am I here? What’s going on?” Before she really knew what was happening, she was yanked to her feet by the woman standing behind her.

  
“Cassandra - ”

  
The ginger woman was stopped short of whatever she had planned on saying by Cassandra simply brushing past her and calling out, “Get your forces to the breach, Leliana.” Beatrix was struggling to catch up to all that was going on. Her brain just couldn’t seem to process all the new information fast enough. Suddenly, she was standing outside looking up at a sky full of swirling green clouds.

  
“I’m assuming that is not normal.” Beatrix’s remark was met with a withering look from Cassandra.

  
“That is what we are calling the Breach, and demons have been pouring out of it since it opened. . .when you stepped out of the Fade.”

  
“And what am I supposed to do about it? I barely even know where I am!”

  
“You are going to seal the Breach.”

  
“No. No. No. No. I - What!? Seal. . .the giant hole in the sky?” Cassandra’s expression remained serious, and she said nothing. “Sure! Let me just waltz up there and wave my magic wand and make everything better!” Still nothing from the other woman. “Or better yet my magic glowing hand!”

  
“That is the plan. Or as much of a plan as we have, at present.” Beatrix’s mouth dropped open in shock as Cassandra started to open her manacles.

  
“I - I wasn’t serious. . .You can’t be serious!”

  
“I am.” Cassandra pushed her forward less than gently. “Now start walking.” The people of Haven all glared at Beatrix as she passed, some even prayed. “They have already decided your fate. They believe you killed Divine Justinia, and there is little evidence to point to the contrary.”

  
“I didn’t kill anyone.” Beatrix stopped and looked back at Cassandra. “You have to believe me!”

  
“We shall see.” They continued walking in silence with Cassandra occasionally barking out orders to passing soldiers. Finally, they reached the bridge to the path to the Temple. The two of them began to cross it when a ball of green fire struck the stones and everything started falling. Beatrix wondered for a brief moment if this would be how she died, but she found herself still alive on the ice below the bridge with a slight ache in her knees and palms from the impact of the fall. Two monsters cloaked in shadow rose up out of the fire coating the ice between her and Cassandra.

  
“Demons! Stay back!” Cassandra lowered herself into a fighting stance. Looking at the situation, Beatrix couldn’t imagine not trying to help in some way. It was two against one. Cassandra was in trouble, and, even though she was not exactly kind, she was Beatrix’s best bet of getting out of her alive. So, she picked up a rock and threw it at the nearest demon. She had absolutely no plan after that, but it seemed like the right thing in the moment.

  
The rock hit the demon square in the back, and it snapped its attention to her. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” Beatrix started scooting herself backwards across the ice as it approached her. She felt a crate behind her and, with sheer panic in her mind, turned around and grabbed the sword on top of it. She relied entirely on instinct as she whipped around and slashed wildly at the demon who was now directly in front of her. Surprising herself, she managed to cut it down, receiving minimal damage in return.

  
As the demon melted back into the fire, Beatrix looked up at Cassandra and dropped the sword with a yelp. “No, pick it back up. You will need it for what lies ahead.” Beatrix did as instructed and followed Cassandra off the ice and back to the path. “Have you ever even held a sword before?”

  
“No.”

  
“It shows.” Cassandra looked over at her, sizing her up. “Do you have any experience with any weapons?”

  
“No. None.” Beatrix was met with a beleaguered sigh. The next few demons they came across were used as impromptu training exercises as Cassandra talked Beatrix the basics of how to not get killed. Eventually the pair met up with a group of soldiers fighting a particularly nasty group of demons. Beatrix helped as much as she could before an elven man carrying a staff grabbed her arm and lead her to the green cloud in the center of the fighting. He touched her hand to it, and the cloud seemed to disperse. Her hand felt like it had electricity running through it as a result, and she doubled over in pain.

  
“What the fuck was that?!”

  
“I helped you close the Rift,” was the clipped reply of the man. Beatrix sized him up quickly. He was bald, slightly taller than her, and had an extremely haughty expression on his face. She hated him already. “You’re welcome.”

  
“It fucking hurt, asswipe.” She turned her head, searching for the owner of the hearty laugh that followed her response. It belonged to a very short stocky man with a crossbow; Beatrix thought he might be a dwarf but did not want to make assumptions.

  
“I think she likes you, Chuckles.”

  
“Varric, please don’t tease Solas.” Cassandra approached Beatrix after stopping the men’s petty argument. “Are you okay?”

  
“Yeah, I think so. What was all that?”

  
The bald man, Solas, spoke up, “That was a Rift. A delightful after effect of the Breach. I guessed, correctly, that the mark on your hand would close it.”

  
“Do you think it will close the Breach?” Cassandra sounded almost hopeful.

  
“We can only hope,” was Solas’s only reponse.

  
“I believe introductions are still in order,” the short man, Varric, finally spoke up. “I’m Varric Tethras: storyteller, rogue, and impulsive liar. Baldy over there is Solas: apostate mage and insufferable know-it-all. And this beauty is Biance!” The last introduction was for his crossbow, and Beatrix barely contained her laughter.

  
“You named your crossbow?”

  
“Of course! All the best weapons have names! Speaking of names, I didn’t catch yours.”

  
“Beatrix.”

  
“Hmm. I’m going to call you Trixie!” Beatrix was reminded of those she had left back home. Trixie was what Max had always called her. What was Max thinking? Had she even noticed her absence yet? What was going on? And most importantly, how does she get back?

  
The brief pause in action was interrupted by Cassandra who had finished her own quiet conversation with Solas. “We need to continue onwards.” The four of them continued on. Solas answered a few of Beatrix’s unspoken questions with his ramblings, and Varric added a fair bit of humor to the whole thing with his constant interjections. The farther the group got up the path, the more Beatrix was thankful to have the two men at her side. They both knew their shit and always seemed to have her back when she least expected it.

  
The group finally made it to where Cassandra claimed they were supposed to meet back up with Leliana. Low and behold there she was, with a retinue of soldiers and a very pissed off looking priest.

  
“Chancellor Roderick, what a pleasant surprise,” Cassandra sounded almost bored.

  
“The prisoner needs to be sent to Val Royeaux immediately to be put on trial!”

  
“With all due respect, Chancellor, the prisoner is going nowhere except the Breach.”

  
“With all due respect, Seeker, you have no authority on the matter!”

  
“So, you will instead allow the Breach to swallow the world? Simply to save your own pride?” Beatrix had somewhat forgotten how intimidating Cassandra could be on the trek here. She was quickly reminded of it as the Seeker faced off against the Chancellor. After a few minutes of arguing back and forth, Beatrix tuned out of what was going on and stood transfixed by the Breach. Another hail of green fireballs launched from it, and the Chancellor seemed to very quickly change his mind as one landed just a little too close.

  
“Alright. Fine. But as soon as that thing is closed, she goes straight to Val Royeaux.”

  
Cassandra nodded and turned to me, “Well, which way should we go to get to the Breach?”

  
“Why are you asking me? I understand literally nothing of what is happening!”

  
Leliana piped up, “Because, we need a plan, and neither of us can agree on one.”

  
“Beatrix racked her brain trying to remember what was said about plans while she had been tuning out. “The secret one, I guess. Through the mountain. That seems good.” Cassandra and Leliana nodded at her and then at each other. Leliana set off with the soldiers on one path while Cassandra, Solas, Varric, and Beatrix headed down the other. The snow got heavier and higher the closer they got to the mountain. Somewhere along the way, Beatrix suddenly realized she was wearing armor. With everything else that had happened since she woke up, she just accepted it and moved on. Hopefully, sealing this ‘breach’ would allow her to return home. She had a solid goal and a way to get there. She just needed to not die until it was all over.

  
That last part was harder than it looked. The closer to the Breach they got, the more demons they had to fight. As they finished killing the group of various demons attacking a stranded group of soldiers, Beatrix had to sit in the snow and take a moment to breath.

  
“Are you alright?” Solas’s brow was furrowed and his lips were somewhat pursed as he looked at her.

  
“Just peachy.” Beatrix was breathing hard and her voice was dripping with sarcasm the elf did not seem to get. She forced herself to stand again and continue onwards. They were so close to the end.

  
She didn’t know what she had expected to see at the ruined temple, but it sure wasn’t the burned corpses of all those who died there. If she had thought everything up to that point had been a lot, she was sure that it was now. She tried to just not look at them and move through them to the center of the temple where the Breach was. It was harder than she thought possible to avoid looking at the literal field of dead bodies.

  
Upon entering the temple, they were quickly joined by Leliana and the remaining soldiers. “So, how am I supposed to get up to that?” Beatrix pointed up to the Breach that swirled in the sky far above the temple.

  
“Try to get as close to it as you can,” Solas looked as if was attempting a reassuring smile, but on him it didn’t quite work.

  
Cassandra put her hand on Beatrix’s shoulder, “We’ll be with you all the way.”

  
“Thanks.” They headed further into the temple and were greeted with a creepy, menacing disembodied male voice. “What is that?”

  
“I have no idea, but whatever it is it can’t be good,” Varric replied while looking around the temple, taking everything in. “Especially when it is accompanied by Red Lyrium.”

  
“Is that what this stuff is? It’s kind of pretty.” Beatrix reached out to touch it and was quickly stopped by a panicked Varric.

  
“Don’t touch it. It will drive you insane and slowly kill you.”

  
“Red glowy rocks bad. Got it!” They continued walking around the outside of the temple trying to find a place to get down to the level below. Another voice joined that of the creepy male one. Beatrix stopped dead in her tracks. “I recognize that voice!”

  
“Divine Justinia? You know her?” Cassandra had immediately turned at marched to Beatrix. She searched her face for any answers that might be hiding there.

  
“I don’t know her, but I recognize the voice. I heard her calling for help. I tried to find her to do so, but I ended up in the prison cell.” Beatrix struggled to remember anything else that might be helpful, but came up empty. The green clouds reformed to show a vignette of a snippet of what the dialogue was from, and there was Beatrix calling out, offering aid.

  
“Look out!” Solas stepped in front of Beatrix, shielding her as the Breach reopened and a large armored demon stepped out.

  
“Men! To arms! For the Divine!” Cassandra’s rallying cry whipped all the soldiers into a fervor. All the soldiers and her companions jumped down to the lower ground and began to attack the demon, leaving Beatrix alone on the upper ledge, mouth agape.

  
“Wait, how the fuck are we supposed to fight that!?” Beatrix’s concerned cries were too late. Everyone was already engaged with it. She struggled down and headed to a decent vantage point to deal with the Breach. She fought off whatever demons came at her, but tried to focus all her attention and energy to closing the Breach. She knew she was next to useless in a fight, and this was the one way she could contribute. After a long grueling battle, and far too many attempts to close the Breach, Beatrix reached up a final time, and with every ounce of energy in her being, she raised her hand to the sky and sealed the Breach with a scream. Then, all her energy spent and her job done, the very out of place woman sank into the very welcome blackness of sleep.


	2. Some Illuminati Bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a little on the short side, and, as I have been sick for a week, I've gotten a fair amount of writing done. Thus, I'm posting it a bit early. Chapter Three will be posted on Monday the 8th. Thank you to all who have read (and dropped some kudos) thus far! You have all made me very excited to get back into this crazy world of fanfiction once more.

Her head throbbed. It felt like her skull was trying to split in two. Beatrix couldn’t remember the last time she had a headache this bad. She sat up in bed slowly, wincing from even that much movement. It almost felt like she was hungover. That would explain the weird dreams of magic and demons and old French ladies crying for help. She shook her head and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She needed coffee. Badly. The door to her room opened and without looking up she said, “I had the weirdest dream. We must have partied a little too hard last night. . .” A tray clattered to the floor, causing the dishes on it to smash against the stone. Beatrix finally looked up. This was not her bedroom, and that was not Max. 

“I’m sorry, Your Worship! I didn’t know you were awake.” A short elven woman with nut brown hair was kneeling on the floor of the cabin that Beatrix was in.

“Who are you? Where am I? What’s going on?” Memories started flooding back. Hearing a cry for help and following it. Waking up in a prison chained up. Fighting demons and closing the weird glowing hole in the sky. 

“They say you saved us. You stopped the Breach from growing, just like the mark on your hand. It’s all anyone has talked about for the last three days.”

“The Breach. . . So it wasn’t a dream, then,” Beatrix mumbled under her breath. Then, she realized the final words the elven woman had said. “Wait! Three days. I’ve been asleep for THREE DAYS!” She bolted up and out of the bed, immediately pacing the small space. “Why did no one try to wake me the fuck up? Jesus!”

The woman hastily gathered up all the broken pottery back onto the tray and backed out of the cabin with it muttering, “I’m sorry. I should inform Lady Cassandra. She wanted to know the minute you were awake.” 

“Wait - “ but it was too late the woman was gone, and Beatrix was once more alone. She stopped pacing and surveyed the cabin. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace next to the bed, and a set of clothes were folded on a chair next to it. The cabin itself was rather small with only one room. The stone floor was not as cold as she expected it to be as she moved around inspecting the nooks and crannies of the room. Peeking out the window in the door, she saw a rather large crowd gathered outside it. “Well, shit.”

She quickly got dressed out of the nightgown she had been changed into after the battle and into the clothes provided. They were of fairly nice quality, and she silently thanked whoever thought to provide her with pants instead of whatever dress she assumed women here wore. There were boots tucked under the chair she hadn’t noticed before and thick wool socks tucked inside them. Finished dressing, Beatrix took a deep breath and walked to the door. She chewed on her bottom lip, not wanting to face whatever new reality lay on the other side. Taking another deep breath to quiet the last of her remaining nerves, she opened the door and stepped through. 

The crowd all turned and looked to her. Some dropped to their knees. Others stood tall and saluted. As she walked through the path they made for her, she heard quiet murmurs in the crowd. 

“That’s her. She’s the one who stopped the Breach.”

“That’s the Herald of Andraste.”

“Maker bless her.”

“She’s the one who saved us all.”

Beatrix looked around cautiously, wondering where she should go, when a soldier approached her. “Ma’am, the council is waiting for you up at the Chantry.” She nodded wordlessly and followed him in the direction of the large stone building, high above everything else in the small village. As she followed the soldier, people all stopped and looked with a mixture of awe and gratitude on their faces. Beatrix could feel their gaze burrowing into her even as she walked away. Whatever these people thought she was, she was afraid of what was bound to happen when the facade fell. 

There was a small crowd in front of the Chantry, as the soldier had called it. There seemed to be a small gathering of what looked to be priests all with heads bowed, murmuring what she assumed to be prayers as she passed. The soldier stopped inside the doorway. “They’re all waiting for you in the War Room. It’s the door at the very end of the hall.” 

Beatrix smiled and thanked him before continuing through the building alone. It was nowhere near as big as some of the churches of Earth, but it was no slouch. The ceilings were high and supported with internal columns. There was not much in the way of art, and the architecture was not very fanciful. Beatrix liked it though. It felt very homey. There were long wooden pews pushed to the sides of the hall, all laden with various things not normally found on pews. Some held armor, others held weaponry, and one even held a pile of lumber. 

The quiet of her walk through the Chantry was interrupted by the very loud argument happening on the other side of the door she was headed for. It sounded like Cassandra and the priest from the bridge were going at it again. Two soldiers stood on either side of the door waiting for her signal to open it. She gathered all the remaining courage she had and nodded for them to do so. The minute she stepped foot into the room the priest called out for the guards to chain her.

“Disregard that and leave us.” The soldiers saluted Cassandra and exited the room, closing the door behind them. Beatrix stood awkwardly as the priest, she now remembered to be Chancellor Roderick, and Cassandra argued about what was to become of her. After a long while and a lot of talking about her as if she were not there, she got fed up.

“Look. I did what I could to close that weird hole in the sky, but quite frankly, I don’t know what the fuck is going on. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not exactly from around these parts. I don’t know who any of you are, and I sure as hell didn’t cause whatever all that was! I just heard a woman calling out for help, and I tried to do that. It obviously didn’t exactly work out how I thought it would, but here we are. And if you want to send me to prison for trying to be a decent person, well then, shame on you.” Beatrix was fuming. She could feel the heat in her cheeks from her anger, and also in small part to her embarrassment at her outburst. 

Chancellor Roderick stood in shock at her boldness, while Cassandra had a slightly amused expression on her face. After a few awkward moments of silence, Cassandra spoke up, “Have a care what you say next, Chancellor. The Breach is not the only threat we face.”

“Someone caused the explosion at the Conclave.” Leliana emerged from the shadows to interject. “Someone the Divine did not expect. Maybe they died in the explosion with all the others. Or Maybe,” Leliana paused and looked pointedly at the Chancellor, “they have allies who still live.”

The Chancellor looked appalled at the obvious acquisition. “I am a suspect!?”

“Yes.” Cassandra and Leliana replied almost in unison. 

“But not the prisoner? You don’t think the fact that she survived all this or the mark on her hand, suspect?”

“I heard the Divine call out to her in the Temple for help.” Cassandra said to support her argument.

“So,” the Chancellor gestured in Beatrix’s general direction, “all of this is simply a coincidence?”

“Providence. The Maker sent her to us in our darkest hour.”

It took a moment for the words to register in Beatrix’s head. “Woah. Woah. Woah. I’m not some kind of chosen one here. I don’t who this ‘Maker’ is, but I can promise you, we aren’t buddies or anything.” The three of them all looked at her with varying degrees of misunderstanding. “Like, I don’t know, fuck!” She turned away from them for a moment to collect herself. “Look, like I said before, I just planned on helping one old lady. Not an entire world.”

“It is rare we get to chose our own paths in life.” Leliana smiled at Beatrix in an attempt to reassure her. “It does not matter what you intended. The Breach remains, and your mark is the only hope we have of closing it.”

“That is not for you to decide.” The Chancellor spoke up, anger coursing through the words. 

Cassandra stepped forward from where she had moved in the shadows when Beatrix’s mini-rant had begun and set a large book down on the table in the middle of the four of them. It had a variety of markers sticking out from in between various pages, and there was a strange eye embossed on the cover. The eye had a sword sticking out of the bottom and was crowned by a halo. It was the weirdest Illuminati bullshit that Beatrix had ever seen in her life.

“You know what this is, Chancellor?” Cassandra did not wait for him to respond. “A writ from the Divine granting us the authority to act.” Cassandra paused for what Beatrix assumed could only be dramatic flair. “As of this moment I declare the Inquisition reborn!” She turned on the Chancellor and advanced towards him, “We will close the Breach. We will find those responsible. And we will restore order. With or without your approval.” The Chancellor stormed off in a huff, and Beatrix made a mental note to never get on the woman’s bad side. 

Leliana seemingly sensing Beatrix’s confusion as to what was going on and what the large book on the table was said, “This is the Divine’s directive: rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those that will stand against the chaos.” She locked eyes with Beatrix. “We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers, and now, no Chantry support.”

“But we have no choice: we must act now.” Cassandra looked to Beatrix as well, saying her next words directly to her. “With you at our side.”

“Me?””

“Yes. Help us restore order before it’s too late.”

“Wait. All this sounds suspiciously like some kind of Holy War, and where I come from, those have a tendency to not be for the best, to put it kindly. And your book, it weirds me out. This all feels like some kind of - I don’t know - it feels wrong. . . Obviously stopping demons from tearing the world apart is a good thing, but should you really be doing it because your religious leader, who is now dead, told you to do it? That does not seem like substantial ground to start a war on. Can I at least think about it?”

Cassandra looked slightly insulted at some of Beatrix’s comments, but she softened her face and replied. “You are already apart of this whether you like it or not. When you stepped out of the Fade, you became a part of this. We need you if we are to have any hope of succeeding. Your mark is the only thing standing between us and utter annihilation. We wouldn’t have even gotten this far without it. . .or you. Please.” 

Beatrix did not know what possessed her to accept Cassandra’s outstretched hand, but she did. And in doing so, silently joined the Inquisition. She had no idea what she was doing here, among these people who so clearly knew what they were doing and had a right to be here. Yet, it seemed fate had decided for her. “So, where do we begin?”


	3. And so the Inquisition was Born!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have yet to mention this, but own nothing except Beatrix. Everything else in the intellectual property of Bioware. Is that something people still have to do? Cause I remember when that was a THING tm. 
> 
> Anyways, here is the third chapter! Some light angst later on in the chapter that wasn't entirely planned. It just happened. Whoops!

The ravens had been sent out almost immediately. They bore a call to arms to any and all who were ready and willing to fight. Beatrix’s training also began almost immediately. She had never been more sore in her entire life. Cassandra was relentless in her drills and criticism. Beatrix had become resentful to the blonde curly haired man who always seemed to be looking on with a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She didn’t know his name yet. She knew that he was in charge of the Inquisition’s forces, but that was it. 

She had yet to attend any Council meetings. She was always too tired to sit and listen to the three Council members drone on and on about the status of various facets of the Inquisition. She had spent plenty of time with Varric and enough time with Solas to get him to crack a joke every once in a while. Beyond their company and constant training, Beatrix had not had much time to do much of anything. She had attempted to read a few history books, but usually fell asleep in the middle of reading them. 

She had managed to compile a list of everything she despised about Thedas though. There were the facts that Cassandra liked to start training at the crack of dawn, and that coffee seemingly didn’t exist here. They had tea which just made Beatrix sad as it reminded her of her mum. She had also found out after a few days that she was allergic to this particular plant called Elfroot, and it was in literally everything. Solas had given her a healing potion after a particularly grueling practice day, and within a few hours she had broken out into hives and a rash that covered almost all of her body. The poor man had been very stressed since then, trying to figure out a non-Elfroot healing potion recipe with Adan the healer of Haven. Beatrix was also annoyed that her hand always seemed to ache. It would occasionally hurt enough to elicit a reaction, but that was always at the most inopportune times. There were the obvious things like the lack of electricity or technology she was accustomed to. Not to mention, the sheer amount of information she had to absorb everyday was less than ideal. None of these compared to how much she missed everyone on Earth. 

Life in Thedas wasn’t all bad though. She had managed to make a list of the things that weren’t so bad as well. For starters, she was in the greatest shape of her life, and Cassandra, the person responsible for the fitness, was basically Lady Badass and could probably kill a man with her pinky. Also, there were these really big dogs called Mabari which were just the cutest and most violent creatures she had ever met. From what Solas had described to her, magic was really cool. The Fade he talked so much about sounded like a beautiful thing to be a part of. Speaking of Solas, the egg man, as she had begun to refer to him, actually had really great sense of humor under the whole stoic and reserved bullshit. He was rather witty and sarcastic when he wanted to be. Varric had become something of a friend. He and his stories were always waiting for her with a beer after training. She loved getting his perspective on this whole Inquisition thing, seeing as he had already been in a war. Beatrix had yet to met a member of the Inquisition she didn’t get along with. There was even one cheerful scout girl that always had a smile and a wave for her. When she was even in Haven that is, she was the head scout so she was frequently away. Lastly, at the end of the day, when she looked out onto the lake as the sun set behind the mountain range on the other side of it, the view took her breath away. So, it definitely wasn’t all bad. 

After a little over a week in Thedas, Beatrix had settled into a bit of a routine. She knew that eventually she would be heading out on missions, and that would disrupt the quiet little life she had made. Cassandra had promised that would not be until both she and ‘the Commander’ had decided Beatrix was ready for it. In the meantime, Beatrix had never known a person could be sore in so many areas of one’s body at once. She was thankful that she always had Varric to talk to and laugh with at the end of it. One night, after a particularly grueling training day, Varric had gotten a bit sentimental with his story. 

“He seems like a good friend, this Hawke dude.”

“He is.” Varric smiled wistfully into his tankard. 

Beatrix immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was a sore spot.”

“It’s not. It’s just. . .I haven’t seen him in a long time is all.”

Beatrix thought about all those she had left behind: her sister, her parents, her dog, her friends, Max. “I know what you mean.” Beatrix didn’t notice Varric look of concern directed at her or the young Antivan woman approach the pair. She did hear the woman’s soft, slightly Italian sounding, voice from behind her though, and it nearly shocked her drunk ass out of her seat. 

“Herald,” the pretty young woman smiled in amusement at Beatrix’s start, “I’m sorry to have startled you. I was hoping to discuss some things with you. If I can steal you away from Varric and his charming words, that is.”

Beatrix’s drunk brain had shut down slightly in the presence of such a pretty woman. “Ummm. . .” Varric elbowed her, hard, in the ribs. “Y-yes. Of course, Ambassador.” She stood a little too quickly and nearly knocked heads with her. She knew a little about the Ambassador. Varric had given her sparse details about all the Council members before telling her to go talk to them herself. She knew what she assumed to be the basics: the ambassador was from the Country of Antiva in the northeast, that she was the eldest daughter and heir of the Montilyet family, and that Varric believes her to be almost more charming than himself. 

“Varric.” The Ambassador gave a slight nod of her head to the rogue and exited the bar. He raised his hand in a wave and gave Beatrix a look that translated to something along the lines of “are you gonna tap that” as she left. Beatrix shot him a look of warning in return before following her out. Once she had joined the Ambassador outside, the Antivan woman smiled at her and began walking up the hill to the Chantry. “So, some of the more prominent members of society in Orlais have begun requesting your papers of nobility, and, seeing as you are in a rather unique situation, I have taken some liberties. I have contacted the noble houses of Ferelden that House Montilyet has ties to, and while several of them responded positively to my rather strange request, I believe House Trevelyan will suit our needs best.” 

Beatrix looked at her quizzically, not understanding the direction of the conversation. Before all this, Beatrix had been a bit of a science fiction nerd. It was her girlfriend who was into fantasy and things like this. Papers of nobility and members of society meant nothing to Beatrix. She knew plenty about engineering and robotics, but all this knights on white steeds and swords and magic just sent her head spinning trying to understand it all. 

“I’m sorry. I got ahead of myself. You are a member of the Inquisition, one of the founding members at that. People are naturally interested in who you are. They all want to know the story of the woman who stopped the Breach.”

“Okay, and what does this House Trevin have to do with all that, Ambassador?”

“Call me Josephine, please.” Beatrix’s brain shut down slightly again, and her cheeks felt hot. “House Trevelyan has agreed to claim you a distant member of their family. Their noble ties will help us in the Inquisition’s endeavors in Orlais. In return, they get to claim connection to the Inquisition when we have a larger presence in Thedas.”

Beatrix felt her face heat up with embarrassment at the mispronunciation. “But, what exactly does this have to do with me though?”

Josephine laughed quietly. “I forget you know nothing of our politics. The society of Orlais will not take you as seriously if you lack political and noble connections. As you are somewhat the face of the Inquisition as it currently stands, we need you to have those connections. You are a foreigner to Thedas, which means you are a complete unknown to them. I have devised a way to remedy this. By being claiming you to be a member of a smaller house, you have the necessary pedigree, but you won’t necessarily have been heard of by those in Val Royeaux.” 

Beatrix was still somewhat lost, but nodded anyway. They had reached Josephine’s office in the midst of their conversation. Josephine sat behind her desk and gestured for Beatrix to take a seat opposite her. “So, we are lying to make life a little easier in the long run?”

“Well. . .Yes. I guess that is a simpler way of putting it.” Josephine laughed softly, more of a breath than true laughter. Remembering something, her face fell slightly. “I’m so sorry. I allowed all this talk of politics to completely take over. I meant to ask you how you are adjusting to everything. It must be different than what you are used to from what I’ve heard.”

Beatrix was slightly offended that people were talking about her behind her back, but swallowed her hurt feelings when she remembered that she was the ‘Herald of Andraste’ and that everyone talked about her. “Yeah. It’s been an experience.”

“An experience?” There was more than a touch of amusement in Josephine’s voice. “How exciting!”

“I guess you could call it that. I mean, some people might think fighting demons on day one to be exciting, but I do not consider myself among them. It all does sound very daring though, doesn’t it?” Beatrix caught Josephine’s eye and quickly looked away. She refused to allow drunk Beatrix to develop any feelings for the beautiful Antivan woman. She was in a relationship. Granted, her partner was in a different world, and Beatrix had no idea if and when she would ever see her again. It was the principle of the thing. Unfortunately, Josephine was very much her type, and Beatrix was more than a touch drunk. She cleared her throat and attempted to change topics. “Anyways, the hardest part is just all the cultural differences.” She thought for a moment. “Well, that is the second hardest part.” Another moment of thought. “I take it back. It’s the third. Definitely the third.”

“What are the first and second?” Josephine asked in between giggles.

“Well, there is the difference in technology. That is pretty big. The smallest, most random things are affected too. Like, things I never think of.”

“Like what?”

“Like. . .” Beatrix’s drunk brain had a hard time thinking up something on the spot. “I don’t know. Ummmmm. . . like. . .I can’t think of anything.”

Josephine’s laughter was both contagious and beautiful. It had a very musical quality to it that Beatrix hadn’t quite expected. When she finally quieted down, she asked, “And what is the other thing?”

Beatrix sobered up very quickly. She bit her lower lip and looked down to her boots, mumbling out a reply. “Everyone I left.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think.” Josephine very clearly felt guilty. “I - that must be so awful.”

Beatrix nodded silently. God, how she missed them all. She wondered what was going on with them without her. Her parents were probably worried sick, and her younger sister was left for them to fuss over and dump all their worry into. Her partners in her robotics class were probably pissed. They had worked for months on their design, and it was so close to perfect. Now, she wasn’t there to see it through to the end, leaving them with all the work. Then there was the obvious: Max. The amazing woman who she had built a life with in that tiny apartment back on Earth. She missed her more than words could express. 

Instead of dumping that all on Josephine, she simply said, “Yeah. It’s pretty hard.” She attempted a weak smile to ease the awkwardness that had settled between them. 

“If you ever need to talk, my door is always open, Your Worship.”

“If I have to call you Josephine, you have to call me Beatrix.” She had not yet gotten fully comfortable with the whole ‘Your Worship’ nonsense. 

“Well then, Beatrix, would you like to join me for dinner?” It took her a moment to register the lack of context to her question. The blush that crept up onto her cheeks was dark and completely charming. She halting gave some context to her question, trying to save face. “With the other council members of course. In a council meeting.”

Beatrix could not help the grin that crept up on her face. “I would love to, Josephine.”


	4. Quizzy's First Council Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter number four for your reading pleasure! Just a head's up I go back to school this week, so my schedule is about to get infinitely more hectic. I still plan on posting every Monday, but there will probably be a week or two I miss. I have a small nest egg of chapters to get through the next few weeks as I adjust to my busier schedule.

The two women walked together out of the office and into the war room next door. The Commander and Leliana were already there, both sitting at the table mid discussion. 

“We cannot afford to send any more troops there. We are already stretched thin enough as is. You cannot honestly tell me you haven’t a single scout to spare.” The Commander’s voice was pleasant. He sounded a bit like every romantic male lead in every rom-com ever to Beatrix’s ears, but she was sure there were many women and men who were very into it. 

Instead of responding to his argument, Leliana stood and nodded her head respectfully to Beatrix and Josephine, who was sitting down quietly opposite the Commander. “Beatrix-”

The Commander shot up out of his seat at the mention of her name. He turned, his cheeks a very bright shade of pink, and gave a subtle bow. “Your Worship. I did not know you would be joining us. I’ll -”

“Relax, Cullen.” Josephine adjusted herself to be more comfortable in her chair and waved for a servant. “Please arrange another place setting for the Herald.” Beatrix stood awkwardly against the wall as a chair was brought in and a place made for her at the small table. The entire time the conversation continued between the three council members. 

“I wish you would have given us warning so this could have been prepared already, Josephine.” 

“Oh hush Commander. You are being a such a bore. Life does not go according to plan.”

“As we all know too well, Leliana.”

“Cullen, I didn’t know she would be joining us myself. If I had, I would have made sure that everything was in order.”

“Really, it’s fine. You guys don’t have to go through all this fuss.” Beatrix was met by three bewildered looks. She really wanted to be a sarcastic shit and say something about regretting saying anything, but she held her tongue. The look on Josephine’s face was clear enough to Beatrix. She had seen it enough times on her mother’s face when company came over unexpectedly, and she went into overdrive trying to tidy up while being a perfect host. Instead, Beatrix plopped down silently into the seat that had just been finished being prepared for her. 

Cullen cleared his throat. “As I was saying earlier, Leliana, we need to discuss our presence in the Hinterlands. The people there are in dire need of our aid.”

“What’s going on in the Hinterlands again?” Beatrix had heard the name mentioned before, but only in passing. She knew it was an area of Thedas in Ferelden, but that was where her knowledge ended. 

Cullen shot her a quizzical look. He cleared his throat and took a swig of whatever was in his cup before replying. “The Hinterlands is the battleground for the Mage-Templar War. More and more people flock to the area known as the Crossroads everyday as refugees, and they need our help. They are low on supplies, and quite frankly they won’t last the winter without our aid.”

“And what aid do you suggest we offer them? We can barely take care of our own at present.”

“Leliana is right. I can make requests to the few allies we have, but there is little we can do. The Inquisition is not seen in a positive light. There are many who believe that we work with, pardon my words but, a murderess. They do not want to sully their good names by associating with us while the winds have yet to turn in our favor even a little bit.”

“We cannot sit idly by and do nothing!” Beatrix jumped as the Commander slammed his fist on the table. Within an instant, he had regained his composure, and his face melted into a look of regret. “I’m sorry. I just wish there was more we could do to help.”

“What if, and this is just an idea here, I go?” All eyes shot to Beatrix. “I’m not so great with words or a sword, but maybe just seeing the mark will make people believe in the cause.” They all immediately broke out in protest, their voices all blending together. “Look! The people need help, and no one wants to help because I have a bad public image at the moment. So, we kill two birds with one stone. I see what needs to be done first hand, and the people of Thedas see that I clearly could not kill anyone.”

“Well, you absolutely cannot go alone.”

“I agree with Cullen. You will need at the very least for Cassandra to go with you.” Leliana’s sharp French accent drew Beatrix’s attention for a mere second before it was drawn to Josephine as she interjected. 

“Varric and Solas too, if they are up for it.”

“Leliana and Josephine are right. You need protection. Not to mention, Cassandra can continue your training, and Solas can make sure you don’t come into contact with any Elfroot on your journey.”

“So, it’s settled then.” Beatrix didn’t know if she should be excited or scared. She honestly didn’t know if she was ready to leave the safety of Haven quite yet. Yet, she knew her own comfort mattered little in the grand scheme of things. People needed help, and she could not sit by and do nothing. 

“I’ll start making all the arrangements in the morning.”

“And I’ll contact Scout Harding to let her known of your impending arrival.”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm, Beatrix, but do you really think you are ready?” Josephine was visibly worried. “You have been here just over a week, and three days of that time you were unconscious. There is a plethora of things you have yet to learn. You only know the basics of our religions, and you haven’t even begun to go into proper ways to behave in different situations. Not to mention, you have only just begun your training with Cassandra. Do you really think it wise?”

“If I don’t at least try, what am I even doing here? I can’t stay cooped up here forever waiting on the day when I finally feel ready. The best way for me to learn is to just do it.” Beatrix looked at each of the council members on turn before continuing. “Look, I will definitely make mistakes. I’ll probably get hurt if a fight breaks out. I can’t promise that I won’t make everything worse in the long run. But I have to at least try. Like the Commander said, these people need our help. We have to do everything we can.”

“Well, if you are sure, but I strongly recommend we wait at least a little while. Just until Cassandra feels you can at least protect yourself.” Josephine caught the looks on the other council members’ faces. “What? We are talking about the Herald of Andraste going to an active war zone completely unprepared to depend herself!”

“Josephine does make a fair point.” Cullen shifted his gaze from the Ambassador to Beatrix. “I’d rather we not lose you on your first mission out.”

“It would also give me more time to establish contacts for you to meet with in the area.” Leliana leaned back in her chair, thinking for a moment. “I might even be able to locate a decent healer and some agents for you to meet with while you are there.”

“Okay. Fine. We’ll do it your way, but I am going by the end of the month.” Beatrix finished her wine and left the War Room. Her mind was racing with thoughts of what she had just set into motion. She had only a few weeks to get her shit together, and she was officially kicking herself for this stupid plan. In the back of her mind, she knew she was definitely going to get herself killed, but there was little more she could do about it tonight. She just needed some sleep. It would all have to figure itself out in the morning after training. On her way to her cabin, she made a mental note to visit Solas to see how the Elfroot-less health potions were coming along soon. They were going to be important if she really was going out on a mission. 

Morning came far too quickly. It felt like Beatrix had just closed her eyes when Cassandra was banging on her door to wake her up for training. She groaned and turned in her bed to bury her face in her pillow. She knew she had a few more minutes before the knocking resumed. As predicted, it returned, louder than before, and accompanied by Cassandra’s muffled threats. 

 

“I’m up!” Beatrix sat up sluggishly in bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She would never forgive this place for not having coffee. Beatrix very hesitantly stood, shuddering as her feet made contact with the freezing stone. She dressed quickly to avoid as much of the chilly morning air as possible. She knew it would be warmer if she allowed someone to light a fire before she woke up, but that meant her door would be unlocked. Which meant, that Cassandra would inevitably come inside to drag her out of bed. Beatrix shuttered at the memories of those first few days.

Fog had settled over a quiet Haven. Almost no one else was awake at this early hour. Even the sun was just barely peeking out over the horizon. As always, Cassandra was waiting just outside the entrance to Beatrix’s cabin, looking very impatient. 

“Start running?”

“Yes. When you have finished your laps, meet me at the training field.” Beatrix nodded, grim smile fixed to her face. She knew better than to argue. In fact, she had somewhat grown to like the first part of training. She ran laps around the lake outside of Haven. It was nice to enjoy the quiet of the early morning when even the nugs were still asleep. As she made her way around the lake, she saw the town slowly start to wake up. Gradually, more and more soldiers joined Cassandra at the training grounds, pairing off and dueling. Smoke would began rising out of the houses and businesses of Haven as fires were started and meals begun. 

After about an hour, her last lap was completed, and Beatrix just flopped onto the ground in front of Cassandra. The older woman rolled her eyes at the dramatics. “Come on. Stand up. We’ll get some food.”

“Am I practicing meditation with Solas today?” It was a thing that had happened a few times. The elf claimed that learning to clear her mind and connect with the Fade would help her figure out how to use the mark more effectively. Beatrix didn’t really think it did much of anything, but she needed to talk to him anyways. Might as well just incorporate the conversation into training. 

“Not today. Today you will be working with Varric.”

“Wait. Is he seriously going to teach me how to use Bianca?” Beatrix considered Varric a friend, but he didn’t strike her as the kind of person to let anyone touch his beloved crossbow, even friends. 

“Something like that.” Cassandra’s tone could have been considered either highly sarcastic or slightly ominous, and Beatrix wasn’t sure which she was afraid of more.


	5. Target Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week was hell, and I'm too exhausted to come up with a witty note. Much love to all of you who continue to read this and leave kudos and bookmark it. Your interest and support mean the world to me!
> 
> Side note: Chapter six might be posted a little late next week as my schedule and life has been a bit more demanding than I thought it would be. I have an outline so fingers crossed that makes the words flow a bit easier.

Turns out ‘something like that’ was target practice, and Beatrix as the target. “Again.” Cassandra’s voice rang out clear above the din of the other soldiers’ training only a few meters away. Another bolt flew threw the air. Beatrix rolled out of the way, the arrow sinking into wood where her head had been moments before. “Again.” She groaned, but dodged the arrow flying towards her. Every muscle in her body hurt, and she could already feel the bruises forming on her shoulders and knees. Beatrix only kept going because to stop would be to get pierced with a high speed projectile, which was not on her list of things to do for the day. 

“For the record. . .I’m enjoying none of this. . .Not a single part of it.” Beatrix was out of breath and out of energy. The sun had already passed the highest point in the sky a while ago. Most of the other soldiers had already retired for the day, or taken a break and come back. Unfortunately, Cassandra seemed determined to run Beatrix into the ground. 

“Again.” She tried her best to move out of the way in time, but her body felt like it was moving at half speed. She just barely caught the bolt with her shield before it hit her square in the temple. Crisis averted, she dropped the shield roughly. It suddenly felt as if the circle piece of wood weighed a million kilos. 

“Again.”

“Are you sure, Seeker? She’s been going at this for hours now. She’s exhausted. I’m exhausted. Why don’t we all just call it and go get drinks.”

“Again, Varric.” Her response was more a threat than an order. 

“If you say so, Seeker.” Varric sent an apologetic look Beatrix’s way before loosing another bolt. She stepped to the side and turned her body in a way she hoped would be enough to avoid the arrow. It was not quite enough movement, and the arrow clipped her arm causing her to hiss in pain.

“That’s enough for today. Go see Solas about your arm.” Without saying anything else, Cassandra turned and walked through the gates into Haven proper. Beatrix collapsed onto the ground the minute the other woman’s back was turned. Her breath came in and out in heaves. All she wanted was a bath and sleep. 

Varric walked over to her and extended a hand to help her up. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I know how scary angry Cassandra can be.” She got a chuckle in response. “How many arrows even was that?”

“I lost count after 20.” He pulled her up to her feet. “Come on, kid. Let’s get you to Chuckles.” She leaned heavily on him as they passed through the gate. 

“I never realized how far away Solas’s cabin is from the training grounds.” Beatrix was met with a low chuckle. They hadn’t been walking for very long, but it sure felt like longer. She was already dreading how much pain she would be in when the morning came. Now that she wasn’t running around dodging arrows, she was finally able to catalogue all her injuries. There was the standard stuff: sore muscles, bruised knees, swollen ankles. Then, there was the hurts unique to that day: the cut on her arm, bruised elbows, bruised shoulders, bruised hips, various cuts and scrapes. It almost felt like one of her ankles was sprained, but she wasn’t too sure. “Fucking finally.”

Varric knocked on the door to Solas’s cabin with his foot. After a few minutes, the door creaked open, and the elven man peered out. “What happened?” He already sounded done with their shit.

“Training. The Seeker worked her pretty hard today.”

“Come inside.” They were ushered in and Varric hastily helped Beatrix into a chair. “What hurts?”

“Everything.”

“Well aren’t you just hilarious.” The flat tone of his voice made it clear he did not find Beatrix’s sarcastic response even slightly funny. “Varric you can go.”

“Have fun you two!” 

Beatrix waved at Varric’s retreating figure. “Thanks for not shoot - “ Her words cut off, replaced by a hiss of pain as Solas started cleaning a cut that she hadn’t known was on her cheek. “Ow!” 

“Oh be quiet!” Solas stepped away for a minute to put a kettle of water over the fire to heat. Beatrix let her eyes wander over the cabin. Nothing had really changed since the first day she set foot inside. His bed was pushed into one corner of the room and his desk was in the opposite corner. There were a couple bookshelves crammed to capacity with all manner of subject matter. Solas’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. “So, the Seeker had you practice dodging arrows today?”

“Yup. It was super fun.” She loved being sarcastic around Solas. If he was in a good mood, he would always give it right back to her. 

“I can see that.” He caught her eyes as he sat down opposite her, a steaming cup in his hand. Handing said cup to her, he ordered, “Drink.” It tasted foul, and Beatrix almost spat it out. The only thing keeping her from doing so was the look on Solas’s face as she went to do so. 

“What is in that?”

“It’s more what isn’t in it.”

“Elfroot?”

“Indeed.” 

Beatrix groaned in response. Elfroot was in fucking everything, and in many cases it was the only reason potions and teas didn’t taste terrible. Solas only laughed at her dramatics. “So, how close are you and Adan to a healing potion without Elfroot?”

“Close.” Solas was too deep in his own internal thoughts to hold an actual conversation.

“Well, how close is close? Because I’m going on a mission to the Crossroads in the Hinterlands at the end of the month, so I need it sooner rather than later.” Solas paused for a moment to look at her with curiosity. 

“You are going on a mission?”

“Yeah. Well, someone has to. Might as well be me.”

“May I ask what drove you to this conclusion?” Solas sounded distant. Beatrix could tell from his face alone while he studied her swollen ankle that his mind was far away, but his voice only furthered that idea. She knew from conversations prior that he was still paying at least partial attention to their conversation. 

“Well, seeing as I have yet to do anything substantial here, I might as well volunteer my help where I can.” She winced as he tightened the bandage he was wrapping around her foot. “Besides, I’m this Herald person in their eyes. Where I come from, seeing religious messiah-types in the flesh raises people’s spirits. It helps them get through whatever hardships are happening in their lives.” She tried reading Solas to get his opinion on her words as he wasn’t offering it up willingly. “And from the sound of it, the refugees at the Crossroads have plenty of hardships.”

“You didn’t strike me as a believer of Andraste.”

“I’m not, but it doesn’t matter what I believe. Others’ opinions about you are not shaped by what you believe. They are shaped by what they believe, and the general population believes I am this Herald person. What harm comes of indulging them a little bit?”

“What harm indeed?” He looked up from his work to meet her eyes, disapproval written all over his face. 

“Don’t give me that look.” He simply shook his head and went back to tending her various injuries. However disgusting the tea he had given her tasted, the aching in her body had definitely subsided since she had begun drinking it. She finished it, grimacing as she did so. Solas set her foot down and moved to her arm to patch up the cut there. “I’m just tired of feeling useless.” She could feel Solas’s gaze bore into her. “What?”

“Nothing.” He sat back in his chair with a flash of green arcane energy sent her way. “There. You should be all set now.” He stood up to put away the various salves, linen wraps, and other supplies he had used to patch her up. “Tell the Seeker that you are to take it easy tomorrow.” 

Beatrix knew that Cassandra would never listen, but didn’t want to argue pointlessly. “Thank you, Solas.”

“Good day, Beatrix.”

With that, Beatrix left his cabin and headed for her own. She debated stopping into the tavern and letting Varric know she was okay, but thought better of it. She was tired and just wanted to lie in her bed and fall into blissful unconsciousness. She did, however, decide to stop and grab some supper from the Chantry kitchen. It was out of her way, but her stomach growled in a very convincing fashion. 

A few minutes and a small detour later, Beatrix was walking back through the Chantry entrance hall, a plate of food clutched in her hands. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but when she heard her name whispered, it was hard not to. She sidled over to the pillar that the voices were coming from and listened, nibbling on her carrots absentmindedly. 

“You’re the one who is insisting that she leave so soon. She is not ready! She has only just gotten the basics.” Beatrix knew it was Cassandra and Cullen talking. Their voices were more than a little distinct. 

“She will be fine! She’ll have you.” 

“I cannot protect her from everything out there.” 

“Solas and Varric will be there too.”

“Well, I just feel so much better now!” 

“Cassandra, please.”

“No! You want her to go out there and risk everything. She is the only person we know of who can close the Breach. No mage in all Thedas can do what she can. And you would allow her to risk all that.”

“Yes. If it means helping the people we have sworn to help, yes.”

“We have only sworn to seal the Breach and find those responsible for it. Not to help every sorry soul in Thedas.”

“But when all those who have made such promises have turned their backs on those most in need, what then?”

Cassandra let out a groan of exasperation. “Fine! We will help the refugees. But! I am not going to ease up on her. She needs to know what she is up against. The rogue templars and apostate mages will not go easy on her or give up because she is tired. They will make every effort to kill her if she stands in their way, which she will.”

“How do you know she will?”

“Have you met her? . . . She will.”

As their conversation seemed to be winding down, Beatrix quickly retreated. It explained a lot, Cassandra’s concern. She was right, though. Even Beatrix couldn’t deny it. She was grossly unprepared for what lay ahead. The war harden warriors and mages would not hesitate to kill her if she got in their way. Cassandra was right to push her. She wouldn’t be ready otherwise. It sucked, but if she was going to pull this off, she would just have to fight through it. She rolled her head and headed towards her cabin, ready to face whatever challenge the morning brought.


	6. One Month Later. . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week was a lot better than last, so there's that. This chapter didn't cover everything I wanted it to, but I had to end it where I did. It would have been ridiculously long otherwise. Side note: I wish you guys could read my outline for this shit show cause its fucking hilarious! 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and all that jazz. Special thanks this week to my writing group for keeping my spirits up through all of this!

The month seemed to fly by. Beatrix trained every morning and most of every day, and while she couldn’t see the little day to day improvements, she was definitely different than she had been when she first picked up that sword under that bridge all those weeks ago. Her reflexes were sharper and quicker. She could easily hold a longsword in one hand, and feat she had barely managed that first day. Her arm didn’t feel quite so heavy after holding a shield all day.

Then there were physical changes. Her body was leaner. Much of the baby fat she had entered Thedas with had melted away and been replaced with defined muscle. She had scars that hadn’t been there before courtesy of rough arrows and stray swords. Her shoulders were now a bit broader and her chest flatter. Her overall body shape had changed quite a bit from an average out of shape feminine looking college student to a fucking superhero. 

The biggest change, in Beatrix’s mind, was her hair. She had entered Thedas with long curly dark locks, and, after overhearing Cassandra and Cullen’s conversation, she had cut it short. Well, technically, Josephine did at Beatrix’s request. It now barely brushed her shoulders and could be somewhat pulled back to keep out of her face during training. She liked her haircut, but only to a point. She had loved her long hair and parting with it had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. She was still slightly embarrassed at the memory of the tears she shed while Josephine cut it. It was a weird thing to be attached to, but it reminded her of home. Cutting it forced her to give up that last thing she had from her old life. It was almost like giving up the dream of ever returning home. 

In a less upsetting turn of events, Beatrix also had actual armor now. It had been custom made for her by the Inquisition’s blacksmith. He had made her a sword and shield as well. They were of exceptional quality she had been told. She, quite frankly, couldn’t tell the difference, but she was glad to have weapons and armor of her own. She had been borrowing various items from Cassandra and other soldiers for the majority of the month, and it had grown rather tiresome. Seeing as it looked like she would be staying her for a considerable amount of time, it was nice to have things that were her own. It made her feel like less of an outsider. 

Both Cassandra and the Council had finally decided that Beatrix was ready to go travel to the Crossroads, a decision Beatrix was extremely happy with. She loved Haven, but seeing the same shit every day had grown old. Unfortunately, there was one last Council meeting that needed to be attended before she could leave. She left her cabin and headed up towards the Chantry. It was still morning, but it wasn’t as early as she was now used to waking up. Cassandra had canceled training that morning in favor of preparing for the journey ahead. Instead, Beatrix had spent the morning packing and going back over a few reports of the area that Leliana had given her, just to freshen up the information in her mind. 

Haven was buzzing with activity. More than just Beatrix was going on this venture. Cassandra, Solas, and Varric were traveling with Beatrix as backup for her personally. A few soldiers and scouts were also traveling with them as protection against whatever lay on the road from Haven to the Hinterlands. Beyond that, Cullen had mustered enough soldiers to send some forces to the Crossroads as protection for the refugees. Beatrix knew from various reports that the templar-mage war had escalated in the weeks since her first Council meeting. 

She nodded hello to the familiar faces among the people milling about, but didn’t stop to chat with any of them. The interior of the Chantry was quiet and somewhat empty. Cassandra was leaning against a pillar about halfway down the hallway. She detached from her position and joined Beatrix as the later passed by. “Does it still bother you?”

“Why does it matter? It didn’t seal the Breach. So who cares?” Beatrix moved a little to the side to allow more room for Cassandra to walk beside her down the center of the hallway. 

“You did everything you could, everything we asked. It stopped the Breach from spreading, and that is just as important.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. Solas thinks a second attempt might succeed, if the mark has more power. The same level of power used to open in the first place. That is not easy to come by.”

“I’m assuming you have something in mind.”

“A rough idea, but yes.”

“So where do we get this massive amount of power from?” They had slowly made their way to the entrance of the War Room. 

“Why don’t we discuss that with everyone.” Cassandra opened the door to reveal Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana standing around the war table clearly waiting for them. Cassandra nodded respectfully at the Council Members and took her place at the left side of the war table.

“What are we discussing with everyone, Seeker?” Cullen had a slight smirk on his face. He had been far too pleased with himself since he had mustered together enough extra guards to send a small fleet to the Crossroads.

“The mark, Commander.” Cassandra’s tone made it clear she was not interested in any joking around today. Beatrix knew she was still stressed at the idea of this mission. “We need to find more power to fuel it if we hope to close the Breach.”

“Which means we need to approach the rebel mages for help.” Leliana stepped completely out of the shadows she seemed to always be at least partially cloaked in.

“And I strongly disagree.” Within seconds, Cullen’s smirk was entirely gone. “The templars could just as easily help us.”

Cassandra sighed; Beatrix assumed this was an argument that had been played out several times out of her sight. “We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark -”

Cullen cut Cassandra off before she could finish. “Might destroy us all. The Templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it so -”

It was Leliana’s turn to cut off the Commander. Beatrix’s neck had started to hurt from all the whipping around her head was doing to follow the conversation. “That is pure speculation.”

“I was a Templar. I know what they are capable of.”

Josephine caught Beatrix gaze and rolled her eyes, clearly just as tired of the argument as Cassandra. “This argument serves no purpose. At the moment, neither group will even speak to us. Let alone assist us in closing the Breach. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition, and, more specifically, you, Beatrix.”

“Me? What the fuck did I do?” Beatrix was slightly offended. She had only been here a month and had already saved the world, but people still hated her. 

Josephine started to answer her, but Cullen interjected before she could. “Shouldn’t they be arguing over who should become the next Divine? These petty squabbles-” 

Whatever else he planned on saying died in his throat, as Josephine shot him a withering look. She turned to look at Beatrix before continuing. “As you know, some are calling you - a mysterious no one - the Herald of Andraste. That frightens the Chantry. You are outside their control and thus outside their narrative. The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.”

Cassandra’s voice was dripping with malice as she spoke up. “Chancellor Roderick’s doing, no doubt.”

“Regardless, it limits out options, and approaching the mages or the templars for help is currently out of the question.”

“I didn’t think the whole ‘Herald’ thing was a big deal. I know people like to think it, but I thought it was more of a nice story to bring a small amount of comfort to those who need it, not a legit fucking title. I don’t even know who this Andraste person is!”

“It doesn’t matter what you know or don’t know. The people need a symbol of hope, and you have become that. In this case, a title goes with it.” Leliana gave Beatrix a small smile. 

“It is a rather impressive title though, isn’t it?” Cullen’s smirk was back with a vengeance. 

“It’s fucking unnerving is what it is!” Beatrix knew that people saw her as a symbol of hope, as Leliana had pointed out. It was one thing to know something, and another thing entirely to be told about it by someone in such context. 

He chuckled. “I’m sure the Chantry would agree.”

“But if I wasn’t with the Inquisition, none of this would be a problem. You could just contact the mages or the templars for help, and the Chantry would be supporting you in all your endeavors.”

“I’m afraid it is not the simple. The Chatry would have disavowed us regardless of your inclusion or not.” 

“Cullen is right. Not to mention, your removal from the Inquisition is not an option.”

“I might have a solution to all our current problems.” Leliana looked around the room to gage if she would be interrupted or not before continuing. “A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you. She is not far from where your current mission will take you, and knows those involved in this play far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”

“And why exactly would she help us?”

“I’ve heard she is a reasonable sort. Perhaps she does not agree with her sisters? My scouts have reported seeing her last helping the wounded near Redcliffe. It is a short ride from the Crossroads.” Leliana receded back into the shadows slightly, her piece finished. 

“While you are in the Hinterlands, we also need you to find ways to expand the Inquisition’s influence. Anything you come across that could be beneficial to us is worth noting.” Cullen also took a step back from the war table. 

“We have already established some agents and contacts for you to meet with in the area, but anyone you find who could prove useful to the cause needs to be recruited. We need all the help we can get.” Josephine was the last to speak, and finished with a smile directed at Beatrix. 

“While we are gone, you all need to think of other options. We cannot leave all of this of Beatrix’s shoulders.” Cassandra placed a hand on said shoulder and nodded supportively. “Now, we really must get going.”

“Yes! The Crossroads aren’t going to help themselves.” The others didn’t see the humor in Beatrix’s comment, but she laughed quietly to herself anyway as she followed Cassandra out of the room.


	7. Quizzy's First Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am behind where I want to be story wise and I really need a kick in the ass to do work this week, I'm posting chapter seven early! And it is a long one. It's also my first time writing combat in a hot minute, so bear with me. I hope everyone's January was better than their 2017, and that all of your February's are marvelous! Happy reading!!!

“I never thought I would say this, but I am so fucking tired of trees.” They had been on the road for well over a week, and Beatrix was more than a little bored. The conversation had all but died out after the third day. Now, all that was said was the occasional complaint from Beatrix and the slightly more frequent jab at Solas from Varric. “How soon until we get there?”

“Soon enough, Trixie. Before you know it you’ll be up to your knees in a war.”

“Let’s not wish for needless bloodshed, Varric.”

“Oh come on, Chuckles, lighten up will ya?”

“That’s enough both of you!” Cassandra had a stern look on her face that had been there since about day four. They were all tired of the road, well mainly Beatrix. Varric clearly missed this life from his time with Hawke. Solas was used to traveling around, but not with companions. Cassandra was also somewhat used to the nomadic life of a soldier, so her big adjustment was simply to whom she was sharing the road with.

As excited as she was to be out of Haven and seeing the real world, Beatrix could not wait to return to her bed already. The living life on the road thing had been cute for a few days, but it had quickly lost all its charm. “How soon until we reach the camp?” 

“Maybe a day. Two if we keep at this pace.” The other three groaned to varying degrees at Cassandra’s estimation, to which the later just rolled her eyes. A few more minutes passed in silence before Cassandra stopped her horse sharply causing the others’ horses to rear up slightly as they caught up to her. Standing in her stirrups, the Seeker looked to the tree line to the group’s left. This section of the road was built into a hill, so the tree line was at a slight elevation to them. Cassandra turned to Beatrix and fiercely whispered, “We need to get out of here.” 

Beatrix didn’t need to be told twice, and when Cass set her horse into a gallop, she followed suit. She heard arrows whistle through the air, but didn’t dare look back to see where they came from or if they hit any of her traveling companions. She kept her eyes fixed on the path ahead, clutching the reins tightly. Behind her, Solas yelled out in a language she didn’t recognize; she assumed it was some kind of spell. They crested around the hill to see a blockade of fallen trees with sharpen branches and toppled over wagons and rubble stretching from tree line to the steep hill on the other side of the road. From this distance, Beatrix could see only some vague movement behind said blockade. “Fuck!”

“We are going to have to fight our way through! Ready yourself!” Cassandra turned her gaze back to what lay ahead of her and, standing up slightly in her stirrups once more, let out a blood chilling cry of anger. 

“Well, this should be fun.” Varric’s sarcastic voice came from beside Beatrix, as she had slowed slightly, caught up in awe of Cassandra’s utter fearlessness. “Come on, Trixie!” Beatrix nodded seriously and sped back up.

She tried to remember all of her lessons, as she finally got within a reasonable range of the blockade to dismount and draw her sword. The moment her feet met the hard ground, a man in heavy plate mail came running at her with a yell. She barely got her shield detached from her saddle and up in time to block his initial blow. She tried to push him back as hard as she could with her shield, hoping to give her some room to move to a slightly more advantageous position, but he was heavy. She got him back maybe a foot, and he was already swinging at her again. She slapped her horse on the rear to get it to run out of harm’s way and just barely stepped out of the way in the process. 

He was swinging at her again as she turned to face him properly, and this time she was a little more prepared for it. Her shield caught the blade of his greatsword, and with him in a slightly vulnerable position, she swung at his ribs as hard as she could with her sword. She clearly hit her mark, because he hissed in pain and pushed her away from him. She barely registered the blood that was now on the edge of her balde. There were other things to focus on, like the arrow that went whizzing past her head, and the arrow that exploded from her opponent’s chest as he raised his sword above his head to bring it down upon her. Instead of being cut in half, Beatrix watched as the man slumped to the ground. “FUCK!” 

She looked around the battlefield to find the origin of the arrow, and almost missed Varric waving at her. She started to wave back appreciatively, but was swiftly knocked onto her ass before she could by a soldier she hadn’t seen at her side. Beatrix rolled out of the fall as best she could, but she still winced in pain as her shoulder was pulled uncomfortably. She got to her feet as quickly as she could, readying herself for the flurry of blows that was sure to come her way. By the time she had righted herself, though, an Inquisition soldier was already fighting off the rogue templar. 

Beatrix scanned the battle, looking for wherever she was needed. Solas was fighting off two templars at once with relative ease. Cassandra was behind the blockade fighting off the archers who were hiding there. Varric was a ways away from the battle firing crossbow bolts into the fray at an alarming rate. All around Beatrix Inquisition soldiers were fighting valiantly, and winning. She didn’t know where to go or what to do or who to fight. Her eyes darted quickly over to Solas as another templar ran at him. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, and she couldn’t help but cry out, “Solas, behind you!”

She started to make her way across the field to help him, but was caught up in the fray. For every hit she landed on an opposing soldier, she received three more. Some of them she was able to catch with her shield, but most hit their intended mark. Never had she been more thankful to be literally wrapped up in the equivalent of metal bubble wrap. The thick of battle was worse than most mosh pits Beatrix had experienced in her time before Thedas.

She was almost out of the worst if it when something heavy and metal connected hard with the back of her head, making an audible crack. Her vision exploded into stars, and her knees buckled. She heard her name screamed out, but it was fuzzy and distorted and didn’t sound right. She looked down at her hands planted on the ground in front of her and tried to make sense of the multiple pairs of hands she saw there. She squeezed her eyes open and shut a few times trying to get everything to go back to normal, but instead was met with a snarl from behind her. She turned slowly on the ground to face whatever it was that made the sound. A templar stood there; he growled something she couldn’t here, reared back, and hit her square in the face with the pommel of his sword. 

Beatrix woke up sometime later with Solas at her side. The moon was shining brightly, and a small fire was crackling somewhere near her feet. “What happened?!” 

“Shhh. Shhh.” Solas pushed lightly on her shoulder to get her to lie back down on the bedroll. “It’s alright. The fighting is over.” He stood up and walked out of her line of sight. After what seemed like forever, he returned with Cassandra and a cup of tea. The minute it was placed in her hands, Beatrix could tell from scent alone that it was the same disgusting tea from all those weeks ago. She grimaced but drank it anyways. 

“You did well.” Cassandra sat down beside her, a smile tugging at her lips. “You held your own far longer than I thought you would.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Beatrix tried to sit up again, but was stopped by a glare from Solas. “So what happened?”

“After you fell unconscious?” Beatrix responded to the Seeker’s question with a nod. “Well, Varric and Solas obliterated the poor templar who decided hurting you was a good idea before anyone else could even get close to him.” Solas’s ears turned slightly pink with embarrassment, and he refused to make eye contact. “After that display, quite a few templars retreated back into the woods, and those who didn’t were quickly cut down by our forces. You were in pretty bad shape, so we decided to make camp and try to remove as much of the blockade as we could in the meantime.” Cassandra tousled Beatrix’s hair. “You did well, kid.” With that, she stood and disappeared into the night, leaving only Solas at Beatrix’s side.

“How do you feel?”

“Fucking exhausted.”

“Well, that is to be expected. You took a lot of damage. Why did you think it was a good idea to just throw yourself into the middle of all that chaos?”

Beatrix smiled sheepishly. “You looked like you needed help.”

The elvhen man sighed and took the empty cup from here. “Just get some sleep. We still have a journey ahead of us.” 

Beatrix obeyed as best she could, but sleep was rather elusive. It came and went in fits. When she was able to sleep, she was plagued with nightmares of the battle: Cassandra pierced with thousands of arrows, Solas overwhelmed by tides of templars, Varric firing arrows as fast as he could but never fast enough to hold back the hoard, and all the while Beatrix trapped in the fray unable to to reach her friends. Morning eventually came, and she had to wake up and at the very least act coherent enough to get on her horse. 

The ride the rest of the way to the Crossroads was tense and quiet. Beatrix could tell everyone was worried about her. Solas refused to leave her side, and Cassandra kept looking at her out of the corner of her eyes. Varric, on the other hand, kept scanning the area for potential threats. After almost 12 hours of riding, they finally reached the established camp at the Crossroads. The sun had set roughly an hour ago, and all of their traveling party was exhausted. Everyone quickly dismounted and made their way to tents to get some sleep. 

Morning once again came far too quickly for Beatrix’s liking, but the sun was shining and there was work to do. She quickly got dressed and headed out of her tent into the brisk morning air. Solas was sitting on a boulder a little ways away from camp, but within eyeline of her tent, meditating. Beatrix rolled her eyes at the elf, unnoticed. She knew she needed to find Cassandra to figure out what was next for their little group. She knew it involved herself, the aforementioned Seeker, Solas, and Varric all splitting from the larger group of soldiers they had traveled with, but the particulars were unknown to her. 

After roughly 15 minutes of wandering around the camp, Beatrix bumped into a familiar face. “The Herald of Andraste. I’ve heard the stories. Everyone has. We know what you did at the Breach.” Beatrix looked quizzically at the Dwarven woman, trying to place where she knew her from. Clearly seeing the confusion in her eyes, the woman spoke up again. “Inquisition Scout Harding, at your service. I - all of us - will do whatever we can to help.” 

The realization hit Beatrix like a ton of bricks. This Scout Harding was the friendly Dwarven scout from Haven. She rarely saw her around, but when she did, Scout Harding always had a warm smile and a hello for her. “It’s nice to officially meet you, Scout Harding. I have to say, though, all these stories everyone keeps going on about have me worried.”

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about. People are only saying that you’re the last great hope for Thedas.” There was a slight hint of sarcasm in her voice as she said it, but Beatrix couldn’t be sure. 

“Well, fuck.” 

Scout Harding erupted into a fit of giggles. It took her a few moments to calm herself before she could continue speaking. “I have to say, the Hinterlands are as good a place as any to start fixing things. The war has been hard on these people, and we just aren’t equipped to offer the kind of help they need. Lady Nightingale only sent us here to seek out Redcliffe’s old horsemaster. I grew up here, and people always said that Dennet’s herds were the strongest and fastest this side of the Frostbacks.With the fighting getting worse, we couldn’t even get to him. Maker only knows if he is even still alive.” Scout Harding looked at the ground, a thousand emotions written all over her face. She sighed then looked back to Beatrix. “Mother Giselle is at the Crossroads helping refugees and the wounded. As I’m sure you read in our last report, the war has started to spread there too. We have a few men stationed there under Corporal Vale, and they are doing what they can. But they won’t be able to hold out for very long.”

Beatrix saw Cassandra waving at her out of the corner of her eye. “Thank you, Scout Harding.”

“Yeah, you best get going. No time to lose, and all that.” Beatrix smiled and shook the scout’s hand before joining Cassandra across the encampment. 

“I see you’ve met Scout Harding. She’s a good person. And a good agent of the Inquisition.” Cassandra smiled briefly in the direction of the dwarf before looking to Beatrix again. “I have had the horses saddled and readied for us to depart whenever you are ready.”

“We are finally going to see some action?” Varric approached the pair from behind a tent. 

“Yes, Varric.”

“Fantastic. I’ll go get Chuckles.” He was gone as quickly as he came.

“More fighting lies ahead of us. Are you sure you are ready for it?”

“I’m as ready as I will ever be, Cass. These people need our help, and we need theirs.” Cassandra nodded in acceptance, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. 

“Well, let’s going then.”


	8. Welcome to the Crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a struggle to write. I've had writer's block all week, and I ended up writing most of this today while I was dealing with the after affects of a very minor concussion. So it is highly likely that I will edit this in the future. Hopefully, the next chapter will flow better.

“FUCK. ALL. OF. THESE. DICK. BAGS.” Beatrix’s words rang out clear with every swing of her sword amidst the battle waging all around her. What should have been only an hour or two ride from camp to the Crossroads, had turned into a full on battle for the better part of the day. The sun was at its peak in the sky. Beatrix was drenched in sweat and blood and dirt and who knows what else. She was tired, and every centimeter of her body hurt. She had lost Cassandra and the boys to the fray hours ago. She was completely turned around with no idea which way was to the camp and which way was to the Crossroads. With the final swing of her sword, she was momentarily surrounded by some form of relative peace. No templars were charging her. No mages were hurling any spells in her directions. She bent down slightly and tried to catch her breath. 

Looking back up, she suddenly realized that the peace she was experiencing was due to the fact that were no more templars or mages to fight. They all lay either dead or dying on the ground around her, and the few who weren’t were retreating into the woods. She couldn’t help the smile that formed alongside the realization. She wiped the blood on her blade off onto her pant leg before sheathing it. She scanned the battlefield for her friends, and quickly found them all accounted for. Cassandra’s nose appeared to be broken, among other various cuts and bruises. Varric just looked tired, but more or less unscathed. Solas, on the other hand, looked not so great. 

Beatrix strode across the field to the elf’s side. “Solas, are you okay?” She didn’t really wait for a response, choosing instead to simply hand him a healing potion. Solas looked at her appreciatively, remaining silent, and downed the potion. He was leaning heavily on his staff, and Beatrix couldn’t even begin to count the number of injuries he had sustained. Cassandra joined the pair, quickly followed by Varric.

“I’m sorry, Solas, but we have to keep moving. Maker only knows how soon they will return with reinforcements.” 

Beatrix glared at Cassandra and opened her mouth to begin arguing with her, but she was cut off by Solas, himself, before she could get even a word out. “Cassandra is right.” He looked pointedly at Beatrix while he spoke. “The quicker we get to the Crossroads, the quicker we get to an actual healer. Potions can only go so far and do so much.” 

Beatrix let her glower flick back and forth between the pair, before sighing exasperatedly and walking away. Their horse had fled back to camp when the fighting had first started, so they had to travel on foot the rest of the way to the Crossroads, something Beatrix was not looking forward to. “You’re going the wrong way.”

“Keep your mouth shut." Beatrix glared at the Seeker as she passed her, now headed in the right direction. It took the group some time to get to the Crossroads. All of them were far too exhausted to have any real conversation, which only made the journey feel that much longer. Upon arrival, they were immediately greeted by an Inquisition soldier.

“My lady Herald, it is an honor to meet you. I’m glad you all arrived safely. Mother Giselle is currently tending to some of the wounded. I have been instructed to bring you to her.” The soldier turned to lead them, but hastily turned back around and bowed, his face beet red. Varric chuckled behind her as Beatrix tried to stifle her own laugh. The clearly embarrassed soldier ignored their laughter and continued on. 

Beatrix had heard about the state of the refugee crisis, but it was so much worse than she ever thought. There was the equivalent of a small town constructed out of makeshift tents and lean-tos tucked between actual houses and buildings. She noticed a few actual tents among the cluster, but they were in bad shape. Every face she saw was etched with worry lines and clearly showed their exposure to the elements. Even in the cold weather, many of the refugees had sunburn on their cheeks and noses. She silently thanked whatever deity could hear her that the first snow had not yet fallen in this area. 

They continued the trek through the area arriving at what appeared to be the medic area. As soon as the approached, a healer immeadiately came over and took Solas away towards an empty cot, of which there were few. Varric jerked his chin in the direction the elf had been lead. “I’m going to keep an eye on Chuckles. You know, just to make sure he doesn’t blow anybody up.” 

Beatrix nodded absentmindedly, distracted by the scene in front of her. There were open air tents that were crammed to capacity with cots almost all of which held an injured or sick person. In many cases, it was both. She saw very little in the way of medics. Maybe one medic for every ten or eleven cots. This was all so much worse than any report could have ever indicated. 

“What happened? I mean, I know what happened. I’ve read the reports, but this is so much worse than they indicated. Who are all of these injured people?”

“Most of them are from the forces Commander Cullen sent. A fair few of them are refugees as well, mind you, but ever since we arrived, the war has escalated. Mages and Templars, both, attack us whenever they can. Not just on patrol, but here, at the Crossroads too. They’ve grown bolder, m’lady.”

“There has to be more though. The people, the refugees, no one told me it was so bad for them.”

“Yeah, right before we got here some templar and mage assholes blew through and took a lot of their supplies. Well, what little supplies they had. They didn’t grab much when they were all fleeing from their homes.”

“Who can we talk about helping?”

“That would be Corporal Vale. He has been organizing an effort with some of the other soldiers and a few refugees. I’m sure he would know of a way for you to help, m’lady.”

“Thank you. . .I never caught your name.”

“Rayner, m’lady. Rayner Nowitzki.”

“Nice to meet you, Sir Nowitzki.”

Beatrix was given a brief smile as Rayner slowed his pace. “Mother Giselle is just up these stairs, m’lady.” The soldier pointed to a short stone staircase just in front of him. 

“Thank you very much for all your help, Sir Nowitzki. I look forward to seeing you again.” Beatrix watched him walk off and disappear into the crowd. Sighing, she turned towards the stairs, mentally preparing to take on the role she had been unwillingly cast in. 

Mother Giselle was tending to a wounded Inquisition soldier, trying to get him to allow a mage to help heal him. Beatrix had to admit that Mother Giselle was very persuasive when she wanted to be. She wasn’t persuasive in that noble way that Josie sometimes got, more in a motherly way. She was tender and caring in her tone, and her words clearly held no ill intent in them. Maybe, she was someone they could trust. 

Beatrix waited for the mage healer to take over before stepping any closer. “Mother Giselle?” Reflexively, Beatrix looked back for Cassandra’s approval, but she had hung behind near the bottom of the stairs. 

“I am.” The older woman stood. Her appearance matched her voice. Laugh lines framed her mouth, and wrinkles had started to develop over the rest of her face, clearly showcasing a life well lived. There was a gentleness in her eyes that reminded Beatrix of her grandmother. She didn’t know why, but she immediately trusted this woman. “And you must be the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste.”

“Is that why you asked to speak with me?” Worry clouded Beatrix’s thoughts, like a child about to get scolded. 

“One of many.”

“Why else am I here, then?”

“I know of the Chantry’s denouncement, and I am familiar with those behind it. I won’t lie to you. Some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the next Divine.” Mother Giselle began to lead Beatrix along the ledge towards an outcropping overlooking the Crossroads. “Some are simply terrified. So many people , senselessly taken from us. . .”

“It was awful, but that doesn’t excuse their actions. The Inquisition is trying to help all those affected and put a stop to any further attacks. I didn’t ask for this title. It was simply bestowed upon me. I’m only doing what anyone in my position would do.”

“Fear makes us desperate, but hopefully, not beyond reason. Go to them. Convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have heard only frightful tales of you. Give them something else to believe.”

“I’ve been told they want to execute me for treason, and you think I should just walk up to them?”

“You are no longer alone. They cannot imprison or attack you.”

“But they could sure as hell try.”

“Let me put it this way: you needn’t convince them all. You just need to convince enough of them to sow a few seeds of doubt. Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them, and you receive the time you need.”

“The way you put it, it sounds so simple.”

“I honestly don’t know if you’ve been touched by fate or sent to help us. . . But I hope.” A faint smile played at her mouth. “Hope is what we need right now. The people will listen to your rallying call, as they will listen to no other. You could build the Inquisition into a force that will deliver us. . . or destroy us.” She paused briefly and looked out over the Crossroads. “I will go to Haven and provide Sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry who would be amenable to a gathering.” She finally returned her gaze to Beatrix. “It is not much, but I will do whatever I can.” Mother Giselle nodded her head in farewell and departed from Beatrix’s side just as Cassandra joined her on the other. 

“So? What next?”

“I guess, we wait for Leliana’s signal, and then we advance on Val Royeaux. In the meantime, we should probably find the boys and seek out this Corporal Vale. See what we can do to help these people.” Cassandra smiled a little and and nodded. "It's a good plan." The Seeker clapped her hand on Beatrix's shoulder, and together they walked down the steps.


	9. No Easy Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is stressful, so here is some sage wisdom from Cassandra to put it all in perspective. 
> 
> General Note: Italics represent past events and conversations. They delineate such things as I already write in past tense.

After what felt like the longest day of her life, Beatrix and the others had finally made camp for the night. Beatrix was exhausted in a way she had never been before. At Corporal Vale’s suggestion, they had talked to the refugee hunter and Recruit Whittle for ideas on what to do to help the refugees. They had camped at the Crossroads for the night before setting out with way too much to do. 

 

There were all the templars and mages everywhere who just attacked on sight, which was exhausting in and of itself, but there were also the specific missions they had taken on to help. A lot of the day had been spent wandering around looking for good places to set up watchtowers to protect the travelers and refugees traversing the Hinterlands at the request of Horse Master Dennet, or Old Man Denny as Beatrix had decided to call him. While they were doing that, they had looked all over the area around Redcliffe Farms for any hidden Apostate Mage supply caches. When dusk fell, they had gone hunting for the demonic wolves’ lair. Which had lead to a particularly bad fight with Beatrix’s least favorite type of demon - a terror. 

 

She was glad when Cassandra offered to take first watch, but quickly found herself unable to sleep. a A very specific incident from the previous day playing on repeat in her head. Just before they had left the Crossroads, Beatrix had seen a young refugee girl playing alone. She didn’t know why, but she had stopped and talked to the girl. Their conversation had not been very long, but Beatrix was still very upset by it. 

 

The little girl had been dirty and somewhat underfed. She had a sweet, high pitched voice, and the look in her eyes broke Beatrix’s heart. There was a sadness there. One so young should not have lost as much as that young girl had. With the sadness, though, was no small amount of hope. This child had more light inside her than most of the adults who had been affected just the same. 

 

_ “But I have so much to be happy for. I’m alive. The sun is shining. The mean people aren’t hurting us anymore. You’re here. Mama and Papa aren’t here anymore, but that’s ok. Mother Giselle says they are with the Maker now, and so they must be happy too. And all the grown ups need someone to be happy for them. They are all so sad, and that isn’t good. So if I’m happy, maybe some of my happy will rub off on them!” _

 

_ “And, just what is the name of one so wise?” _

 

_ “Matilda. But I like Tilly, better.” _

 

_ “Well, Tilly, I never looked at it like that! Thank you!” Tilly had rocked back on her heels at the thanks, almost dancing a little. “Is anyone taking care of you?” Tilly shook her head. “So you are all alone?” _

 

_ “How can I be alone with all these people everywhere, silly?” _

 

_ “Yes, but do you have a grown up who makes sure you are okay everyday?” Tilly only shrugged, and Beatrix’s heart broke a little more. She took the little girl’s hand in her own, and smiled, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. “Well, I am going to make sure that changes. Okay?” Tilly nodded absentmindedly, using her whole body to do so. In moments, Beatrix had arranged for a soldier to watch over the girl until better accommodations could be made. She had really wanted to take the girl back to Haven to have a family there take her in, but Tilly had insisted that she must stay at the Crossroads.  _

 

Beatrix had been tossing and turning for a few hours now. She sat up in her bedroll and rubbed her eyes. It was clear, at least for the time being, she was not getting any sleep tonight. There were many thoughts battling for her attention now that she was not solely focused on surviving. She threw on some clothes and stepped out of the tent she shared with Cassandra, who was still on watch duty. The fire outside the tent was warm and inviting, albeit low. 

 

Cassandra snapped her attention to Beatrix at the first movement of the tent’s flap. “Having a hard time sleeping?”

 

“Yes.” Beatrix sat down opposite Cassandra, more dropping to the ground than anything else. She just stared at the fire, willing it to burn away all the clutter in her brain. 

 

“Is it about the girl?”

 

“No. . .Well, maybe a little.” She looked to Cass, then quickly back to the fire. “Did I make the right call, Cass?”

 

Beatrix could feel Cassandra’s gaze on her. “Do you feel like you made the right decision?”

 

“I don’t know. The Crossroads is no place for a little girl. Haven would be so much safer.” Beatrix picked up a stick resting on the ground near her and began tracing random symbols in the dirt. “But at the same time, this is her home. She feels called to be here. Who am I to stand in the way of that? I mean I guess I did, but it feels like I could have done more.” 

 

“Beatrix, there will be much in the days ahead that will have no easy answer. There is no quick or easy or clear solution to any of this. You have been charged with an enormous task, and each day more is added to that load. You must do the best you can, as that is all anyone can ask of you.”

 

“But I have to be better than that. This Inquisition means something to people. For the first time in my life, I’m a part of something greater than just myself. There is so much at stake, and if I mess up even a little bit, it could ruin everything. For Cullen. For Leliana. For Josephine. For You.” There was a slight pause before she uttered those last two words, and just before they left her lips, her gaze met Cassandra’s. It was scary, giving voice to all these fears. She was not scared of rejection for having fear. It was more that saying them out loud made them real, and not just some quiet doubts at the back of her mind. 

 

“No one can be perfect, Beatrix. Even Divine Justinia had faults. You are bound to make mistakes. It is only human to do so. You must be easier on yourself about it though. You are trying. Everyone can see it, and trying is the most important thing you can do. Everyday it will be easier, and everyday you will get better at all of this. Understand this: You are better today than you were yesterday, and worse than you will be tomorrow. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, Beatrix, as long as you use them as opportunities to grow.” Cassandra stood and brushed the dirt off of herself. “Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to get some sleep. At least one of us should be well rested tomorrow.”

 

Just before she entered the tent, Cassandra turned to Beatrix. “Make sure to trade off with one of the boys. You need your sleep as well.” And like that, Beatrix was once more left alone to her thoughts. 

 

She knew Cassandra was right. She always was. There was a reason why she always looked to the Seeker for guidance in moments of crisis. The Herald of Andraste should be Cassandra, not Beatrix. The Seeker was devout that much was obvious, but it was more than that. She knew what was best for the Inquisition, and Thedas as a whole. Cassandra knew what to do and say in every situation they had been thrown into. People wanted to follow her. Not that people didn’t want to follow Beatrix, but Cassandra was a natural leader. 

 

Beatrix had been trying, no one, even Beatrix herself, could deny that. She knew that she was different than she had been when she woke up in the prison a month ago. It just felt like she wasn’t changing fast enough, at times. The world needed her to be this idea, this perfect being, and she wasn’t that yet. It was so hard trying to prove that she was capable of handling all she had been dealt under this microscope. It felt like everyone was waiting for her to slip up even a little bit, so they could tear her down the rest of the way. The Inquisition had enough displeased groups to justify those feelings. 

 

Staring at the fire, Beatrix began to make a plan. The wolves had been dealt with, which solved one of Old Man Denny’s problems. The watchtowers weren’t going to get built until the locations and plans were delivered to Cullen back in Haven. With the woods as populated with archers as they were, it was not information that Beatrix trusted to be sent via raven. Unfortunately, a quick trip back to Haven would have to wait. The refugees needed food and blankets. From what she understood, winter was just around the corner. By the time they made it to Haven and back, a good portion of the refugees will have either starved or frozen to death. 

 

The watchtowers, and thus Old Man Denny’s support would have to wait. The next few days would be long, but they had a general idea of where to look for the supply caches thanks to a note carried by a now dead apostate mage who had decided it was a good idea to try to take in the four of them at once, alone. Beatrix was not thrilled at the idea of killing innocent goats, but people needed to eat. It all had to be done. She was tempted to wake Cassandra and ask for her input, or, at the very least, ask her in the morning, but stopped herself. She needed to make decisions on her own. This plan would not make or break their overall mission. Sure they needed Old Man Denny’s support, and more specifically his horses, but that could wait. These people could not. 

 

Beatrix sat in front of the fire for several more hours before waking Solas to take over watch. She stared at the roof of the tent for quite a while, Cassandra’s words repeating over and over again in her head until she finally drifted off to sleep. 


	10. Homeward Bound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. I had my first big Linguistics test on Thursday, so studying ate up most of my week and threw my whole schedule off. Next week, I should be back to my normal schedule. Anyways, here is chapter 10. I hope you all enjoy it! As always, thank you for the continued interest and support! It truly means the world to me!

The road back to Haven had been long and arduous, but finally they could say they were home. It was weird, upon reflection, that Haven had suddenly become home in Beatrix’s mind. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the change had happened, but it had. The minute the city walls had come into view the four of them had immediately perked upon and returned to their bantering, which after over a month in the field together, had all but died. One could only hear the same joke about trees so many times before murder was on the mind. 

Beatrix, and she assumed the others, was looking forward to a long hot bath followed by an even longer sleep in her own bed. Between scouting all over the Hinterlands for supply caches, campsites, and decent watchtower locations and hunting down goats and evil wolves, Beatrix had earned a ridiculously long sleep. She was startled out of her daydreaming of the luxuries that were just within her grasp by Varric’s gravelly voice. 

“So, Trixie, are you excited to be back in Haven?”

Beatrix paused, wondering if she should give voice to the thoughts in her mind. “Yeah.” 

“It is good to be home.” Solas had urged his horse near to the duo. 

“Yeah, it is. Isn’t it?” Beatrix kept her voice quiet and the smile that played at her lips out of view of the two men. 

“So, you consider Haven home now?” Solas looked at her in a way that was more than a touch curious. 

“We’ve been on the road and sleeping in tents for almost two months, Chuckles. I would call pretty much anywhere with a comfortable bed under a sturdy roof home at this point. Right, Trixie?” She only nodded sensing yet another argument brewing between the two. 

“Honestly, Varric, is it really that hard to just call me by my name?”

“Yes.” 

Solas made a small groan of frustration and began rubbing his temples in slow calming circles. Beatrix only sighed. They had done this the entirety of the trip: squabble like an old married couple. 

“Look, I’m sorry. Everyone has a nickname. It’s just who I am.”

“Cassandra doesn’t!”

“Have you met the Seeker? I give her a nickname besides Seeker, and my head will find itself detached from my body before I can blink.”

Cassandra’s voice rang out from her position 10 meters ahead of them. “He’s right.” To which Varric gestured in a way that can only be described as ‘what did I tell you’.

“Varric is right, Solas. We all have nicknames. Cullen is curly. Josie is Ruffles. Leilana is Nightingale. I’m Trixie. You’re Chuckles. I would even say that Seeker is Varric’s nickname for Cass. It’s his thing.” Beatrix tried to look apologetic while she played devil’s advocate, but from the look of Solas’s face, she could tell she failed miserably. He spurred his horse to go just fast enough to pass them and join Cassandra.

“Pft. Drama queen.” Beatrix rolled her eyes, but said nothing. “So, what is the first thing you are going to do?”

“Take a bath and then immediately pass out. And then, when I eventually come to again, start the cycle of filling out reports and going to Council meetings until I am biting at the bit to go back out the fight more dick bags and hunt more goats.”

“No specific people you are excited to see?”

“Not really.” She shot an incredulous look in Varric’s direction. “Why?”

“Oh, no reason in particular.” There was a very obvious smirk on his face. “Just I noticed a certain noble lady was rather, how should I put it. . . forlorn when we left. I just thought maybe something had happened between the two of you.”

“Me. . . .with. . . .I mean. . . Me and Josie. . . .Josie and I. . . .A thing. . . .Between us. Psssssht. No. Pft. What?!? That’s just - No. That’s just crazy. Why would you. . .What would cause you to, ya know, think something like that?” Beatrix tried and spectacularly failed at keeping her cool. Her cheeks were beat red, and she was sweating. She was silently begging Varric to not ask any more questions. She had no good answer for them. She was definitely crushing on Josie. She was pretty and nice and smart and clearly had her morals in the right place. She was any person’s dream, but there were other factors to consider. 

“Clearly, I was mistaken then.” Varric turned his gaze back to the road. “Ruffles would never go for anyone that obviously a romantic disaster.” Before Beatrix could give any kind of rebuttal, they were inside the city gates, and people were swarming them. She and Varric quickly became separated in all the hubbub. She thought about tracking him down, but changed her mind when she saw the council members clearly waiting for her. 

Before she could join them, Cassandra grabbed her arm. “Remember what I said. You are the Herald. You are meant to be here, with us. Don’t doubt yourself. Whatever you action you decide to take will be the right one.” Beatrix smiled at the Seeker, holding back a few tears. She clasped Cassandra’s shoulder and gently squeezed in an appreciative manner.

“Commander Cullen. Leliana. Lady Josephine.” Beatrix nodded to each of them in turn as she approached the trio. She hated admitting it, but she had missed them a bit. 

“It’s good to have you back, Lady Herald.” Cullen smiled and turned his body in such a way that she could move up the stairs past them with ease. 

“It’s good to be back, Commander. Did you get the reports that I sent you?” Cullen fell in step with Beatrix as she headed in the direction of her cabin. 

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Good. Here are the locations for the watchtowers I mentioned in one of my first reports. We need to get started on their construction as soon as possible. Old Man - Horse Master Dennet will not give his support or any horses to our cause until they are built and the roads are safer to travel. We need those resources, Commander, so send any men we can spare.”

“I’ll see to it immediately.” Cullen gave a curt nod and headed towards the Chantry. Leliana replaced his spot at her side almost instantaneously. 

“Has Mother Giselle arrived yet?”

“Yes. Only a few days ago. She has been granted the full hospitality of the Inquisition.”

“Find out what she knows Leliana. We need to know everything about the Chantry’s opinions and dealings: who would be willing to sway to our cause, who will never change their mind, who is already on our side, have there been any deals made to keep our organization down, is there anyone among the clergy actively operating against us, and any other useful information you can gather.”

“I’ve already begun questioning her, but things like this take time. Trust must be established.”

“Take however much time you need, but as soon as you have it all, I want a full report.”

“Of course, Lady Herald.” Leliana paused before heading back to the Chantry. “You are much changed, Beatrix. I’m glad.” 

Josephine quickly moved to the empty space at Beatrix’s side and interlocked her arms with Beatrix’s. “So, how was the mission?”

Beatrix tried to hide her slight blush at the friendly contact, her conversation with Varric still all too fresh in her mind. “It was good. Long. Tiring.” 

Josephine chuckled at her simplistic response. “Anything exciting happen?”

“Not really. We were attacked almost daily by either angry mages or pissed off templars. And if we weren’t being attacked, we were hunting goats or evil wolves. And if we weren’t doing the first two things we were hunting down supply caches or decent watchtower locations. It wasn’t exactly glamorous.” They had arrived at Beatrix’s cabin, and now both of them stood looking awkwardly at each other. “Well, I - uh - I should probably get some rest. 

“Yes. You should. You did say it was tiring, didn’t you.” They continued to stand awkwardly outside the door. Beatrix was almost scared to open it. “Is there anything else you needed, Beatrix?”

“Ummmm. . .Yes. Actually, there is something. For some reason, the people of Redcliffe aren’t helping the refugees. Apparently, they have some of the best healers in the Hinterlands, but they haven’t sent any to tend to all the wounded and sick. I was hoping there was a way you could maybe see if any of your contacts knew anything.”

“Of course. I will write to them first thing.” Josephine finally broke the awkward standstill between the two and turned away. She took a few steps in the direction before quickly turning around and calling out. “I took the liberty of having some servants prepare a bath for you. I hope you don’t mind.”

A grin grew on Beatrix’s face, and she finally turned towards the door and walked into her cabin. There, looking like the best thing Beatrix had ever seen, was a large wooden basin filled with still steaming water sitting right in front of a roaring fire. She hadn’t noticed how cold the weather had become since she had left until she entered into the warmth of her home. She quickly stripped her dirty, well worn traveling clothes off and settled into the welcome bath. From this vantage point she could see that some changes had been made in her absence. There was now a bookshelf next to her desk overflowing with books with different colored spines. A wardrobe was sitting across from her bed that hadn’t been there previously as well.

The changes noted, Beatrix allow herself to relax for the first time in over a month. She lay there until the water cooled and her fingers were pruny. At which point, she examined the wardrobe, only to find it full of practical clothes for every occasion, including a nightdress. She changed, savoring her freshly clean skin, and collapsed into bed, asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She was finally home.


	11. Making Some Big Kid Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I'm back on my schedule! This chapter is the shortest one I think I've done, but it felt right to end it where it ends. Next up: either bonding with one of the boys or Val Royeaux. . . I have yet to decide, but there are ideas forming for both. So we shall see where the muse leads me! 
> 
> As always thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Beatrix woke feeling the most rested she had in what seemed like forever. She knew she should get up and check in with everyone around Haven, but her bed was just so comfortable. The thought of leaving it made her want to cry, but she forced herself to sit up and rub the sleep out of her eyes. A knock at her door was the final push to get her all the way out of bed. She stretched and mumbled out, “Coming!” The floor was cold; no fire had been started in her cabin, a feature of Haven she had grown to miss during her time away. She searched around for a robe of some kind, anything to cover the nightdress she was currently wearing. Another knock at the door caused her to grab the first thing she touched, a blanket from her bed, and wrap it around her shoulders as a makeshift cape. 

 

She opened the door a crack and peeked around it. There on the other side, looking far too cheery, was Josephine. “Good afternoon, Beatrix!”

 

“Afternoon?” She opened the door to allow the woman inside. “How long was I asleep?”

 

“Well, I don’t know when you fell asleep yesterday, but you slept from then all through the night and into most of today.”

 

Beatrix took a moment to register just how long that must have been, almost 24 hours judging by how low the sun was in the sky already. “So, wait,” she closed the door and followed Josephine further into her small home, “why are you here? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you. It’s just, I assumed you have a lot to do so. . .”

“Well, seeing as you missed the Council meeting this morning and breakfast and lunch, I figured that you would want some food and a quick briefing of where we stand.” As if on cue, Beatrix’s stomach growled, rather loudly. “And I see I was right!” Josephine snapped her fingers and a young elvhen woman entered carrying two covered trays. It took Beatrix a moment to place the familiar face, but it was the same woman Beatrix had frightened the very first time she had awoken in this cabin all those months ago. 

 

The trays were set down and uncovered. Small, formal pleasantries made, and then as soon as she appeared, the woman was gone, leaving Beatrix and Josephine alone together once more. Mouth watering at the sight of all the food, Beatrix sat down across the table from Josie and started to dig in. After a few minutes of awkward quiet, Beatrix cleared her throat. “So. . . What did I miss at the Council meeting?”

 

Josephine snapped back into focus, out of whatever mental reverie held her interest. “Yes! Well, Commander Cullen has seen to it that a rather large portion of our troops, as well as every available mason in the surrounding area, are being sent to the Hinterlands to get the Watchtowers underway. He has also requested your permission to conscript any able bodied individuals, mainly refugees of the war, to aid us in this endeavor. He made a rather strong case for himself, I must say.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Well, we could pay the refugees a small stipend, which I would arrange, as well as steady food and lodging for the duration of the project. Not to mention, that it would be free training in a skill they will soon need if they wish to rebuild their homes. There aren’t many downsides to such an arrangement, save that money will be a bit tight around the Inquisition for a while, but we can manage.”

 

Beatrix thought it over for a few moments, sitting back in her chair and staring off into the distance. “Yeah. I mean, yes. Tell - inform - Cullen -I mean, Commander Cullen that I agree with his plan. He has my permission.” The words felt odd and clunky leaning her mouth, and she immediately started second guessing herself. All she could think about was if Cassandra would approve or not. She knew the Seeker would have an opinion on this, but she had no idea what it was. A part of her wished she had waited to talk to Cassandra before approving the request. She wasn’t even entirely sure what conscripting was. By the sound of what Josie described, it was just asking for volunteers, but who the fuck knew? Sure as hell not Beatrix. 

 

Beatrix continued to mentally chastise herself, adding more and more to the lengthy list of reasons why she was a fuck up while Josie continued talking, oblivious to the mental war being waged. Finally, like some beacon of light, Cassandra’s words to Beatrix upon their return to Haven rang in her ears. 

 

_ “You are the Herald. You are meant to be here, with us. Don’t doubt yourself. Whatever you action you decide to take will be the right one.” _

 

The negative self talk quieted to a dull murmur in the back of her mind. She blinked and, for the first time in several minutes, made eye contact with Josephine. “I’m sorry, Josie. Could you repeat that last part? I got lost in my own head for a minute there.”

 

“Of course! I was just saying how Leliana has already made progress with Mother Giselle. Though, I think it is mainly due to the fact that she is just giving up the information willingly. As soon as construction is finished on the Watchtowers and we have Horse Master Dennet’s full support, we should be able to deal with everything happening in Val Royeaux.”

 

“And how long will construction take?”

 

“If everything goes smoothly and perfectly to plan, a month minimum. Probably closer to two or three months. Even with all the men we have on the project, there are some things that no amount of men can hasten or change.”

 

“No no. That’s fine. A month is more than enough time for us to head back to the Hinterlands and weed out the rogue templars and apostates that still insist on fighting.” She once again looked off into the distant, mind whirling with the beginnings of a plan. “We need to make the area as safe as we can for the time being. From what I understand, Val Royeaux isn’t exactly a hop, a skip, and a jump away from here.” Josephine looked confused by her metaphor. “Meaning, it’s pretty far away from Haven and, thus, the Hinterlands.” She waited for a look of understanding to grace Josie’s features before continuing. “So, Cassandra, Solas, Varric and I should head out soon. I mean, we’ll take like a week to recoup, but then we should probably get back to it.”

 

“A week? But - I had hoped you would be in Haven for a little longer than that.”

 

“ I wish I could stay longer, but the safer the Hinterlands are for the refugees, and just everyone in general, the better I will feel about leaving the area for so long. And besides, I can’t do anything here besides train and read reports. At least out there, I am useful. I can work to protect the people in most need, and I can further our influence and reach.” Beatrix tried to read Josephine’s body language to see if she understood her reasonings, but the Antivan woman refused to make eye contact, keeping her eyes locked on the are of the table in front of her. “Please, Josie. I don’t want to leave. I want nothing more than to stay here and wait around for the Watchtowers to be finished, but that accomplishes nothing. Not for you. Not for me. Not for the other Council members. Not for this entire organization. I need to do this.”

 

Keeping her eyes fixed to that same spot, Josephine almost inaudibly said, “I know.” She blinked her eyes and few times, and then, with some drama, finally met Beatrix’s gaze. “Do what you must, for the good of the Inquisition.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” Beatrix couldn’t help the small crack in her voice as she said the words. 

 

Josephine only curtly nodded in response. There was something different in her posture that Beatrix couldn’t quite place. Before Beatrix could say another word, Josephine turned and left with little more than a terse, “Good day, Lady Herald.” 

 

Beatrix was once more alone with her thoughts. Cassandra’s words still rang in her ears loud enough to keep her from completely doubting her decisions, but there was still a part of her that regretted having to make this decision. She knew, though, that it was the right thing to do. The watchtowers would get built while she, Cass, and the boys were taking care of the asshats who decided to turn a simple country village into a warzone. There would be things that needed seeing to along the way to truly turn the area around, but the more work they got done before the Watchtowers were completed the more credibility they would have when they finally headed to Val Royeaux. Beatrix stood up from the table at long last and headed out the door to inform everyone of the plan.


	12. Of Anger and Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words just kinda flowed this week, which was a nice escape from all the stress happening in my life at the moment. Anyways, next week is my spring break, so I am hoping to have a slightly longer-than-normal chapter out for you guys for our lovely Herald's Val Royeaux adventure. 
> 
> As always, happy reading and thanks for continuing along with me on this little adventure.

Beatrix awoke to silence. There was still a few days left before their second expedition into the Hinterlands and every day had achieved some kind of routine, as it always did in Haven. Instead of the usual bustle of the village, there was only silence. Cautiously, Beatrix got out of bed and dressed quickly, making sure to grab her sword and shield on her way out. She wasn’t sure where to go as the streets were eerily empty. Making a quick gut decision she headed for the Chantry. If anything serious was going on, it would more than likely take place there. 

She had reached the top of the last set of stairs when she finally noticed the sound of commotion coming from the direction of her destination. She quickened her pace and curved around the tents in the center of the courtyard to see a small mob of people yelling. Just as she has entered the thick of the crowd Commander Cullen stepped in and separated a mage and an ex-templar that seemed to be close to fisticuffs. 

Cullen locked eyes with the ex-templar and cut through the din of the crowd with a strong, steely voice. “We are not templars any longer. We are all part of the Inquisition!” He pushed the two men back with little but his gaze as he flicked his eyes between them. 

Beatrix’s sigh of relief was cut short as Chancellor Roderick stepped forward. “And what does that mean, exactly?” 

Beatrix almost stepped forward to intervene, but was just a hair too late. “Back again, Chancellor? Haven’t you done enough?”

“I’m curious, Commander, as to how your Inquisition and it’s ‘Herald’ will restore order as you’ve promised.” 

“Of course you are.” Cullen sounded as pissed off as Beatrix’s felt. She hated that she was stuck near the back of the crowd and couldn’t defend herself or the cause she was fighting for. Well, the cause she had somewhat been coerced into fighting for, but, after having seen all the good it could do, was now fully on board. “Back to your duties, all of you!” 

The crowd dispersed, and Cullen and Chancellor Roderick were left alone in front of the Chantry doors staring each other down. Beatrix approached the pair slowly and cleared her throat to draw their attention. 

Chancellor Roderick ignored her completely and started ripping into Cullen instead. “This is exactly why we require a proper authority to guide the people back to order.” The way he said ‘proper’ really set Beatrix off. 

Again, Cullen spoke up before she could get a word in edgewise. “Who? You? Random clerics who weren’t important enough to be at the Conclave?”

“The rebel Inquisition and it’s so-called ‘Herald of Andraste’? I think not.” The Chancellor paused briefly to look Beatrix up and down, silently judging her. “I mean look at her. Does she look like the kind of woman who could restore peace?”

“That is enough, Chancellor Roderick. I have put up with your grandstanding and just general assholery for long enough!” Beatrix held up a hand to silence Cullen before he could cut her off but kept her eyes fixed on the Chancellor, giving him her very best angry mom look. “So far, you are the only one who’s insisted that we cannot work together.”

“We might, if your little Inquisition would recognize the Chantry’s authority.” The smug look on his face crept into his voice as well. He knew that he had struck a nerve. 

“There is no authority until a new Divine is chosen.” Cullen’s face said everything his words did not. If there were no witnesses, the Commander would gladly beat the cleric to a pulp. 

“In due time, Andraste will be our guide, not some dazed wanderer on a mountainside.”

“Well, if you disagree so strongly with our cause, why do you stay in Haven?” Beatrix knew she was letting her temper get the best of her, but she couldn’t help it. Dealing with the Chancellor was like dealing with her father all over again. He was judgemental and knew exactly what buttons to push. The Chancellor only scoffed at her and walked away. 

Cullen must have sensed her anger, “He’s toothless. There’s no point in turning him into a martyr simply because he runs at the mouth.”

“Doesn’t stop me from wanting to.”

Cullen chuckled, but quickly stifled it. “The Chancellor is a good indicator of what to expect in Val Royeaux, so you best get a handle on the temper of yours.”

“I know. I know. It’s just - he reminds me a lot of people I’d rather leave behind in my old life.” Cullen hummed in surprise. “What?”

“You just don’t talk about your life before all this very much. That’s all.” 

“There is just a lot there that hurts to think about.” Beatrix felt the wave of sadness she had been avoiding the past few months start to crash over her. “Well, I should really get to practice. I’m sure Cass is wondering where I am, and I know she wants to tighten up some of my shield form before we head back out to the Hinterlands.” 

Cullen nodded in understanding and headed into the Chantry, leaving Beatrix alone with her thoughts. She she breathed deeply, trying to clear her head of all the painful emotions that festered there. The action was as successful as such actions always are, so she simply turned heel and headed back to her cabin. She knew Cass did want to train some more, but Beatrix needed to hide until they left and her emotions were once again ‘under control’. 

The months dragged on, and little changed. Beatrix and co headed to the Hinterlands once more. The Watchtowers were built, and the Inquisition now had not only Dennet’s support and horse but his recruitment as an agent of the Inquisition as well. With Solas’s guidance, Beatrix had even managed to close a few fade rifts. The rogue templars and apostate mages were slowly driven out of the Hinterlands and were replaced by highwaymen and bandits due to the new power vacuum. The Hinterlands were safer, however, and the people affected were finally able to rebuild. It was satisfying to see the progress happen right before her eyes.

Beatrix had grown to love the area, in a way, so it was bittersweet the day the letter arrived announcing that Leliana and Josephine had finally convinced the Chantry, with Mother Giselle’s help, that the Inquisition was not the threat they thought it to be. Which meant that, now it was time to convince them that the Herald of Andraste was not some kind of monster. It had been decided that,instead of just heading straight to Val Royeaux, Beatrix and the others should stop at Haven first to resupply and rest, among other things.

Beatrix knew that this meant the Council was nervous that she would break some kind of social convention she had no idea even existed. Which meant that Leliana, Cassandra, and Josephine would all be coaching her on etiquette within the capital for the entirety of their ‘rest’ in Haven. Beatrix could not help but focus on the fact that Josephine had not spoken or written to her in any friendly capacity since their conversation in her cabin all that time ago. It all caused her to not want to return home. She could just stay in the Hinterlands forever and never have to deal with any of it. 

She must have clearly been distracted, as Solas kept looking at Beatrix out of the corner of his eye as the began their journey Haven-ward. “We have done great work here. They people will be safe until we are able to return after all this business in Val Royeaux is seen to.”

“I know all that.” Beatrix’s words sounded sharp, even to her own ears. “Thank you for you insight though, Solas.” She moved her eyes from the road ahead to the elven man riding next to her. “I really do appreciate it.”

“Well, if that isn’t bothering you, then what is?”

“Nothing important.”

Solas audibly chuckled at her response, or lack thereof. “Now that, I strongly doubt.”

“The stuff on my mind is trivial at best. I know we are doing the right thing. I know the people are safer now. I know that we will be able to handle whatever we face in Val Royeaux. These are all things that I have no question of anymore.”

“Then, what is it?”

“So much is going right. I’m just. . .I keep finding myself holding my breath, waiting for the hammer to fall and everything to come falling down around me.”

“Now, that is very nihilistic thinking, my friend.” Solas smiled comfortingly and looked back to the road. For once, Beatrix was glad that Varric was pestering Cassandra. She hadn’t realized how little she and Solas talked, just the two of them, until that moment. “Enjoy the good while it lasts. Yes, inevitably things will once more go wrong, but it serves no purpose to worry about what might be. You have no idea of what the future holds. We hope that what we are doing will lead us all to achieve the ends we so desperately seek, but we could very well fail at our endeavors. Nevertheless, we must keep hoping.”

“I am trying. . .”

“I know. Your efforts are noticed by all who know you.”

“It’s just so hard to not expect the worst at this point, with everything that’s happened.”

“And surely more bad is on the horizon, but we are headed to the path of progress. The resolutions we seek lie in Val Royeaux. Luckily, we should be headed there shortly, by the sound of Leliana’s letters.”

“We could go to Redcliffe instead. Find healers for those who are still injured and ill.”

“No. We cannot. No one has entered or left Redcliffe since the Breach and there is a massive Fade Rift in front of its gate. It would be suicide to attempt to reach the city. It is far wiser for us to stick to the plan that has been laid before us.”

Beatrix had to admit that Solas was right. She hated that she had to admit it and refused to do so aloud, but the elf spoke true. There was a clear path before them: go to Val Royeaux, figure shit out with the Chantry bitches, save the world. There was little room for deviance from the plan. She just had to grit her teeth and bear it, a thought that bore little comfort.


	13. What Happens in Val Royeaux Stays in Val Royeaux. Right!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next kinda stick to the script of the game, but it is kinda hard to deviate too much from the source material when dealing with the huge moments in the timeline. I tried to spice it up with some Beatrix flair as best I could. 
> 
> Anyways, this story has officially passed 500 hits, and I have effectively lost my mind (out of happiness). A million thank yous to all the readers of this thing, both new and OG readers alike. Sending you all the positive energy I can muster!

Val Royeax reminded Beatrix of an ancient French city she and Max had visited shortly after they had begun dating. Mont Saint Michel, she believed it was called. There were differences of course. Val Royeaux was exceedingly colorful, for one. The city was a mess of bright azure and turquoise with splashes of scarlet and gold to offset the all the blue. Whatever wasn’t brightly painted was a simple cream. It was slightly garish in Beatrix’s opinion. The city, however, was surrounded by water and was thus built up to accommodate all the people and various businesses it housed, similar to Mont Saint Michel. 

The four companions crossed the bridge soundlessly, save their footsteps against the stone of the bridge itself. Whatever coaching that could be done, in regards to Beatrix, was done. Cassandra had drilled proper protocols for various situations into her head all morning as well as the entirety of their month long month journey. In conjunction with the etiquette lessons that had been forced upon her, much to Varric and Cullen’s amusement, there was nothing else that could be done to prepare her. Beatrix had settled her mind when she had awoken that morning, whatever would happen, would happen. She couldn’t fight the entire church into agreeing with her. She could certainly try, but very little would likely come of it. 

As the group got closer to the entrance gate, bells could be heard tolling from deep within the city. “The city still mourns.” It was the first words Cassandra had set since they set foot on the bridge.  
Beatrix finally saw the first of the citizens of the city as they passed under the gate. It was easy to see that the French parallels did not end at the architecture, even to Beatrix. The woman made eye contact with Beatrix briefly and a flash of recognition crossed her face. She gasped and immediately started back pedaling until she reached the railing of the bridge, which she promptly pressed herself against. 

“Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are.” 

“You skills of observation never fail to impress me, Varric.” Beatrix had to suppress a chortle. Cassandra had regained some of her humor, it seemed. The day suddenly looked like it might not be entirely shit. Before any more banter could ensue, an Inquisition scout ran up to them and kneeled. “You’re one of Leliana’s people. What have you found?”

The scout’s voice was higher pitched and a bit squeaky. “The Chantry mothers await you. . . but so do a great many Templars.” Beatrix felt her stomach drop. Any good the day might have held a few moments ago was gone, evaporated into nothing. Shit was about to go down. 

“There are Templars here?” Cassandra sounded as worried as Beatrix felt. 

“People seem to think the Templars will protect them from. . .from the Inquisition.” Beatrix’s stomach dropped even further. She hadn’t thought it possible, but somehow the day just kept getting worse. “They are gathering on the other side of the Market. I think that where the Templars intend to meet you.”

Cassandra looked at Beatrix and with a determined yet slightly mournful look said, “Only one thing to do then.” Beatrix nodded and headed past the scout deeper into the city. It was going to be an interesting meeting one way or another. As soon as they had passed the scout, Cassandra started whispering angrily, “They intend to protect the people? From us?”

“I mean, we kinda expected this Cass. The Chantry has done nothing but shit on everything we’ve done since the beginning. It makes sense that they would pull some bullshit like this. Right?” She looked back to the guys for confirmation, not expecting Cass to be in any kind of mood to agree with reason. 

Solas wasn’t paying the slightest attention, and Varric just kind of shrugged noncommittally. Cassandra raged about Seeker Lucius until they passed through the second gate into the market proper. The actual market stalls seemed to be empty, but Beatrix could hear the crowd murmuring on the other side of the central spire. Just as she rounded the spire and saw the back of the crowd, a Chantry cleric began talking on the raised dais that had been erected at the back of the market. 

“Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me! Together we mourn our Divine. Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more!” While the woman spoke, with her very French sounding accent, Beatrix and Cassandra had made their way through the crowd to a place more towards the center and nearer the dais. The cleric seemed to have noticed this and dramatically pointed at Beatrix as she said her next words. “Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say this is a false prophet!”

“Look! I can’t help what people believe or don’t believe, but I can help fix the mess the real murderer left behind.” Beatrix turned to face the people, pressing her back against the dais to be able to look at as many members of the crowd as she could. “There is a real threat out there. A threat that is coming to destroy not just the Divine but the whole world. We, the Inquisition, are doing everything we can to put a stop to it, but we cannot do it alone. The Breach cannot be closed by us alone!”

“It’s true! The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late.” It wasn’t until Cassandra spoke to back her up that Beatrix realized how harsh her speech had sounded. 

“It is already too late!” Dramatic cleric lady flourished her hand on the opposite direction they had come. There stood a small legion of Templars lead by a grumpy looking man. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this ‘Inquisition’, and the people will be safe once more!” The cleric looked like she only half believed her own words as she moved back to allow room for the Templars on the dais. 

The leader wordlessly passed her to take the spot where she had been standing for her speech, and one of his cronies punched her on the back of her head causing her to cry out in pain and fall to the floor. The Templar that had been standing on the dais during the speech looked shocked at the violence, an expression their leader noticed. “Still yourself. She is beneath us.” 

Beatrix automatically wanted to punch him. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Her claim to authority is an insult. Much like your own.” The man, who Beatrix assumed was Lord Seeker Lucius, was looking more and more punchable by the second. He began to depart the dais, and Cassandra followed him. 

“Lord Seeker Lucius, it is imperative that we speak with -”

“You will not address me.” He did not so much as look in Cassandra’s direction.

“Lord Seeker?” Beatrix really felt for Cass. It was clear that she wanted some kind of approval from him, but the guy was just a dick. 

“Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste’s prophet. You should be ashamed. You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages! You are the ones who have failed! You who’d leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear! If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is mine.”

Beatrix clutched her hands into fists at her side. She knew, due to all her extensive training, that punching him in his stupid face would solve nothing, no matter how good it felt to do so. “If you’re not here to help the Chantry, then you just came to make speeches?”

“I came to see what frightens old women so, and to laugh.” Cassandra nearly ha to hold Beatrix back as she stepped forward ever so slightly, barely resisting the urge to lunge at the Lord Seeker.

The Templar who had looked shaken at the violence stepped near the Lord Seeker and spoke up, “But Lord Seeker. . .What if she really was sent by the Maker? What if - ?”

Punchy Templar cut him off before he could finish. “You are called to a higher purpose. Do not question.”

“I will make the Templar order a power that stands alone against the void. We deserve recognition. Independence!” The Templars around him all put their right fist to their heart in some kind of salute. “You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition. . .less than nothing.” He turned to his men and continued monologuing. “Templars! Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection! We march!” With that, Lucius and the Templars marched through the gates and out of the city. 

Varric finally deemed it safe to return to Beatrix’s side, followed closely by Solas. “Charming fellow, isn’t he?” 

“Yeah. His face is highly punchable!”

Cassandra seemed to ignore their comments. “Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?”

“Wait you know that asshole!?” Beatrix turned her head sharply to look at Cassandra. 

“He took over the Seekers of Truth two years ago, after Lord Seeker Lambert’s death. He was always a decent man, never given to ambition and grandstanding. This behavior is very bizarre.”

“Well, clearly times have changed, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting help from the Templars after all. Not that I’d want their help with that asshat is in charge.”

“I wouldn’t write them off so quickly. There must be those in the order who see what he’s become. Either way, we should first return to Haven and inform the others.” 

Beatrix nodded and began to head to the gate, but thought better of it and turned around. They should see if the Chantry cleric was okay. That punch was pretty nasty. As they passed by, a merchant woman flagged them down. Her voice was raspy, but pleasant. “Excuse me, but. . . is what they are saying real? Is the Inquisition really going to fix the hole in the sky?”

“We are trying to, yes.”

“No one is doing anything. The Chantry’s useless, and the Templars. . .Andraste, I never thought they’d abandon us.” She shook her head. Beatrix had seen her body language before in the refugees in the Hinterlands. It was the look if someone who had just barely given up hope, but was still looking for something, anything, to cling to. “Listen. Your camp will need food. I have contacts. We’ll have deliveries there in days.”

Cassandra stepped closer to the merchant and looked her up and down, trying to size up whether or not she was speaking true. “You want to help the Inquisition?”

“I’ve never been part of something this big before, but. . .if your Inquisition’s going to seal the sky, I want to help.”

Beatrix briefly thought about consulting Cassandra, but thought better of it. The Seeker had enough on her mind, and the merchant woman was very clearly speaking to her, not Cass. “Head to Haven, then. Talk to Ambassador Josephine Montilyet. She will know where to place you and your contacts. We need good people.”

“I don’t know if I’m that, but it’ll be nice to see. Thank you.” The woman slinked back into the shade with her wares, and allowed Beatrix and her companions to pass. 

Just as they were about to exit the gates two things happened: a messenger approached them with great haste and an arrow whizzed past Beatrix’s head and sunk itself deep into the stone ground directly in front of her. She decided to deal with the arrow first and the messenger second, as the arrow appeared to have a note attached and very nearly killed her. 

Beatrix unrolled the scroll that had been fastened to the arrow and read it aloud to her companions. “‘People say you’re special. I want to help, and I can bring everyone. There’s a baddie in Val Royeaux. I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks, and ‘round the cafe, and maybe you’ll meet him first. Bring swords. Signed, Friends of Red Jenny.’ Who the hell are the Friends of Red Jenny?” She instinctively looked at Varric for answers as he normally knew plenty about shenanigan causing organization. 

“Don’t look at me. I don’t have any answers.” 

Before Beatrix could try to decipher the note any further, the messenger was upon them. “You are the Herald of Andraste, are you not? I have an invitation for you.” 

Beatrix sighed, but accepted the piece of very fine parchment. The messenger hurried away to see to other duties, and Beatrix scanned the invite, mumbling aloud its contents as she went. “‘You are cordially invited to attend my salon held at the Chateau of Duke Bastien de Ghislain. Yours, Vivienne de Fer, First Enchanter of Montsimmard, Echanter to the Imperial Court.’” She refolded the paper and tucked both notes into her vest pocket. “Well, don’t I feel special!? Two letters on the same day both requesting my presence.”

“The first letter sounds like it could be a trap.” Cassandra’s gaze bored into her, looking for some answers to questions she did not speak aloud. 

“It doesn’t matter. It could be help, and we need all the help we can get.” Beatrix thought for a moment, trying to create some kind of plan. “Alright. Here’s what we’ll do. We’re going to get this little scavenger hunt over as quickly as we can. Deal with whoever it is that is apparently trying to kill me. Then, hopefully, we will have just enough time to go to this Enchanter Lady’s salon thing. With any luck, we’ll find the writer of the first letter and maybe gain their aid, as well as the aid of the Enchanter Lady.” She grew quiet and looked at her friends. “Unfortunately, that means Haven, and this whole Templar business, will have to wait just a little while longer.” The three of them all looked to each other before meeting Beatrix’s eyes and nodding in agreement. 

Varric was the first to speak up, “So,where should we scavenge first?”


	14. An Eventful Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a week of highs and lows and of super long, slightly belated chapters. This is by far the longest chapter in this story so far, but I really wanted to introduce some new faces before moving on. The story is finally picking up, and the angst is upon us!!!
> 
> Also if you guys want me to write a chapter that is literally just etiquette lessons (courtesy of Leliana, Cass, Josie, Vivienne, and Dorian) for the Ball at the Winter Palace, let me know. I can make it happen. . .just saying. . .

It had taken the party most of the day running around Val Royeaux in a poor attempt to find the red things. Once they had located the first, the search became far easier. All were notes bound in red handkerchiefs all written in different hands. Altogether they seemed to be referring to a group that was very curious about Beatrix. They even received a key to what Beatrix assumed was the ‘third path’ one of the messages mentioned. She was not sure what time the meeting mentioned was to take place however. 

“Do any of you know what ‘three bells’ is referring to? I know it is the time of the meeting, but I don’t know what time.”

Varric looked between Solas and Cassandra, who both showed clear signs of confusion, before speaking up. “I might know.” Beatrix nodded at him to continue. “Well, we are in a city surrounded by water, and bells, in regards to telling time, is a naval term used to count every half an hour that passes. I won’t go into specifics, but seeing as it is already afternoon, it is probably referring to just before sunset, actual sunset, or close to midnight.”

Cassandra looked flabbergasted. “Since when do you know how seamen tell time?”

“When you travel around as much as I do, you learn a lot of interesting tidbits!”

“I’m glad you know what it means, but that isn’t completely helpful. We still don’t know exactly what time, and I for one don’t want to sit around all day staking out a random street courtyard until someone slightly suspicious turns up.” Beatrix was tired, and she could tell she was a tad cranky. She knew that they were taking on a lot for only one day, but it had to be done. 

“Well, if it were me,” Solas spoke up for one of the first times that day, “I wouldn’t plot in open daylight were just anyone could see. So, going by logic, they will probably meet at the last time Varric mentioned.” Solas turned to head towards the stairs that lead back down to the main level of the city. “In the meantime, I suggest we all prepare for our meeting with Lady de Fer. From what I have read and understand of Orlesian culture, a salon is just a fancy party, and we are not properly attired for such an event.”

“So what, we go to this fancy party, meet this Lady de Fer, they say ‘excuse me we need to go lay the smack down on these randos who are trying to potentially kill me so sorry’???”

“Yes, exactly.”

Beatrix groaned. Solas was ignoring her sarcasm, a habit he knew irked her. She followed him down the stairs anyways. Everything would have to be perfectly timed if they were going to pull this off, and they wouldn’t be able to stake out the area before whoever the noted warned them about arrived. That last part was more than a trifle irritating, but even Beatrix, for all her stubbornness, knew that they could not possibly do it all. It was going to be a long night. 

Beatrix changed into the nicest clothes she had brought with her, and by what she had seen at the little courtyard gathering earlier that morning, she still was going to look like a poor beggar that had wandered in off the street. It was the best she could do under such short notice. Unfortunately she was alone in her misfortune. Solas always looked impeccable in his elven tunic, and Cassandra, well, no one would ever say a bad word about that woman for fear of ending up on the wrong side of her very sharp looking blade. Varric, on the other hand, just rocked the whole roguish charm and exposed hairy chest look in a way few other men, dwarven or otherwise, could. 

The estate the invitation directed them to was imposing and not lacking in any outward reflections of wealth. It wasn’t lavish though, which Beatrix appreciated. The interior was not ostentatious, as she had assumed it would be. Upon walking through the front doors, she was announced by a servant as ‘Lady Trevelyan of the Inquisition’ which all sounded a little too posh for her taste. Beatrix immediately felt like she didn’t belong. The looks she received from all the courtiers in attendance made it clear that they agreed. The brief etiquette lessons she had been forced into had not prepared her for this kind of function. 

A man approached her with a woman at his side and gave the slightest of nods. They were both wearing masks, as Beatrix had been told was Orlesian custom, so she could tell little else about them beyond gender alone. “What a pleasure to meet you, my lady. Seeing the same faces at every event becomes so tiresome. So you must be a guest of Madame de Fer. Or are you here for Duke Bastien?” 

The woman spoke up before Beatrix could even attempt a reply. “Are you here on business? I have heard the most curious tales of you. I cannot imagine half of them are true.”

Beatrix really wanted to know what gossip was spreading but figured that it was better to not know. “Some of those stories may have gotten a little embellished.”

“But only for the best effect. The Inquisition is a ripe subject for wild tales.” The lady was obviously about to tell her some of the more extravagant tales, but was cut off by a man strutting down the steps.

“The Inquisition? What a load of pig shit!” He scoffed rudely and persisted, despite the rather evident offended look on Beatrix’s face. “Washed-up Sisters and crazed Seekers? No one can take them seriously.” He reached the bottom of the stairs and shouldered roughly past Beatrix, still talking, her gaze trailing him as he went. “Everyone knows it’s just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power.”

“Is there a point to your inane ramblings? Or do you just like to hear yourself talk?” There was a slight collective gaso from amongst the party-goers, but Beatrix couldn’t find the energy to care. The guy was being a dick, and she had had enough of that to last a lifetime that day alone. 

“We know what your Inquisition truly is. If you were a woman of honor, you’d step outside and honor the charges.” He stepped uncomfortably close to Beatrix as he laid out his challenge. She shifted back every so slightly in response and started to reach for her blade, but he was already stepping away. As he did so, there was a flash of blue arcane light, and the man was frozen in place with literal ice.

A woman’s posh voice floated down the stairs accompanied by the clacking of her heels against the marble floor. “My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in my house. . .to my guests.” The woman finally came into view; she was a vision in white with a plunging neckline and a silver mask in place. Beatrix’s heart fluttered a bit at the sight. “You know such rudeness is. . .intolerable.”

Apparently the man’s mouth wasn’t frozen shut, as he began earnestly pleading with her, “Madame Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon!”

“You should!” It was then, as Madame de Fer rounded the Marquis, that Beatrix realized she was wearing pants with a long overcoat not a dress. Her heart fluttered a bit again. “Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?” Vivienne turned her fierce gaze to Beatrix. “My lady, you’re the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?”

Beatrix looked at the Marquis for a long minute. She felt like this was a test in some way, but she wasn’t sure what the right answer was. “Honestly? I don’t really care. It’s been a long day, and I just don’t want to deal with anymore prickish bullshit.”

Vivienne smiled slyly before spinning on her heels to face the Marquis once more. “Poor Marquis issuing challenges and hurling insults like some Fereldan dog lord.” She snapped her fingers and released whatever magic held him. “And all dressed up in your Aunt Solange’s doublet. Didn’t she give you that to wear to the Grand Tourney? To think, all the brave chevaliers who will be competing left for Markham this morning. . .and you’re still here. Were you hoping to sate your damaged pride by defeating the Herald of Andraste in a public duel? Or did you think her sword would end the shame of your failure?” 

The Marquis hung his head in shame at Vivienne’s carefully selected insults. Beatrix was pretty sure she would die for this woman if she asked. She shook her head to clear the stupid humor from it. Such phrases would be taken literally here. While, Beatrix was impressed by the Madame so far, her commanding presence and scathing burns were all to be admired, she wasn’t going to throw herself on a blade for the woman just yet. 

“Run along, my dear. Do give my regards to your aunt.” Vivienne shooed him away with a flick of her wrist, but even Beatrix could tell that it was her words and voice that truly sent him away. The gesture was simply a formality. Vivienne waited for him to depart before returning to Beatrix. “I’m delighted you could attend this little gathering. I’ve so wanted to meet you.” She linked arms with Beatrix and lead her away from the party proper to a somewhat secluded window overlooking the immaculate gardens. “Allow me to introduce myself -”

“You’re Madame Vivienne de Fer, First Enchanter of Montsimmard, and Enchantress to the Imperial Court. I’ve gathered. Why have you summoned me here?” Beatrix knew she was being somewhat snippy, but she could see Varric out of the corner of her eye, gesturing wildly. They were on a time crunch, whether she liked it or not. 

“I wanted to meet face to face. It is important to consider one’s connections carefully. With Divine Justinia dead, the Chantry is in shambles. But the faithful flock to your banner, pinning their hopes on you to deliver them from chaos. As the leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause.”

“I get that you are a badass mage who can probably fuck my whole day up and you clearly have some political pull, but is there anything else you can bring to the table?” Beatrix had no intention of not taking her offer, but she wanted to seem like she was at least trying to be diplomatic about it. 

“Some political pull is one way to put it. I know every member of the Imperial Court. . .personally. And I have all the resources remaining to the Circle at my disposal. And, lastly, as you said yourself, albeit somewhat crudely, I’m a mage of no small talent? Will that suffice?”

“Wait so you would work for our interests at court?”

“Ordinarily, yes, but these are not ordinary times. The Veil has been ripped apart, and there is a hole in the sky. It is now the duty of every mage to work towards sealing the Breach, and so I would join the Inquisition on the field of battle.”

“Well then, the Inquisition will be happy to have you, Lady Vivienne.” Beatrix held out her hand to clasp Vivienne’s to seal their agreement and was greeted with a smile and a delicate shake of her hand. 

“Great things are beginning, my dear, I can promise you that.”

“Now, if you will excuse me, I unfortunately have other business to attend to tonight, and I must beg your pardon. I hope to see you in Haven at your earliest convenience.” 

“Of course, my dear.” Vivienne stepped out of her way, and Beatrix rejoined her friends, who all followed her as she made her way outside.

“So?” Cassandra was clearly trying not to probe too much, but clearly wanted answers.

“We seem to have gained an ally.”

“Madame de Fer is now an ally of the Inquisition?”

“Yes. Why? Is that a bad thing?”

“No. No, it’s a good thing. An extremely good thing.”

“Well, good. Now, let’s go find this plotting dickhead and hopefully whoever these Friends of Red Jenny are.” Beatrix didn’t want to let on how happy Cassandra’s approval made her. She lead the group into the night and past the pathetic attempt at guards whoever these mysterious plotters had decided to hire to protect them in their little meeting. Tired and so very done with all the bullshit this day had thrown at her, Beatrix pushed open the doors to the courtyard only to have several fireballs lobbed at her head. 

“Herald of Andraste!” A strange Orlesian man stood posturing in the middle of the courtyard alone. “How much did you expend to discover me? It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably!”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t know who you are.”

“You don’t fool me! I’m too important for this to be an accident. My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere.” From the side of the courtyard an arrow could be heard whistling through the air and killing a guard who had been keeping watch. The man looked in the direction of the cry reflexively, as did Beatrix. 

A blonde elven woman holding a bow stood behind the now dead guard. Her armor looked piecemeal at best and her bow was drawn. “Just say ‘What’.”

“WHAT IS THE -”

The woman let loose the arrow, killing whatever outraged question the man was going to utter along with the man himself. She groaned in disgust as his body crumbled to the ground. “Squishy one, but ya heard me right? Just say ‘what’. Rich tits always try for more than they deserve. Blah. Blah. Blah!” With the final ‘Blah’, she pulled the arrow out from where it had lodged itself in the man’s head. “‘Obey me. Arrow in my face.’” She examined the arrow before cleaning it off and returning it to the quiver at her back.

Satisfied, she turned to Beatrix and the others, who all stood mouths slightly agape at this strange creature, Solas more so than the others. She didn’t speak like any elf Beatrix had heard before. Her accent was far more Cockney than posh know-it-all. Everything about her was intriguing and full of mischief. 

“So, I see you followed the notes well enough. Glad to see you’re. . .you’re kind of plain, really, all that talk, and then you’re just. . .a person. I mean it’s all good, innit? The important thing is: you glow? You’re the Herald thingy?”

“You killed that asshole before I could question him! Find out who he was working for and just. . .Why did you do that?”

“Yeah Before he could shout magic! What? My people said the Inquisition would want him dead. So he’s dead.”

“Your people? You mean the Elves?” Beatrix highly doubting she was working with the elves, but it was her only guess. 

The woman scoffed at the idea. “No. People people. Name’s Sera.” She pointed at a crate near the dead guard. “This is cover. Get round it.” Beatrix shot her a quizzical look. “For the reinforcements. Don’t worry. Someone tipped me their equipment shed. They’ve got no breeches.” It was easy to tell that she was more than a touch pleased with herself for that fact. Right as she said it a man yelled and jumped over the stairs to attack them. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you take their weapons?” Beatrix pulled her sword out as quickly as she could, but Cassandra was already there to cover her before it was even halfway out of its scabbard. 

“Because no breeches!” Sera laughed maniacally and ran up the stairs firing arrows into the crowd of pantless guards who were swarming the courtyard. Together, the five of them managed to dispose of the guards rather quickly, and Beatrix, now fully exhausted, approached Sera. “Friends really came through with that tip. No breeches!” She giggled again to herself, not yet having noticed Beatrix behind her. She turned and grinned widely. “So. Herald of Andraste. You’re a strange one. I’d like to join.”

“And I’d like a proper introduction from the woman who just almost got me killed.”

“One name. No, wait, two. It’s. . . well, it’s like this. I sent you a note to look for hidden stuff by my friends. The Friends of Red Jenny. That’s me. Well, I’m one. So is a fence in Montfort, some woman in Kirkwall. There were three in Starkhaven. Brothers or something. But it’s just a name, yeah? It lets little people, ‘Friends’, be part of something while they stick it to nobles they hate. So here, in your face. I’m Sera. ‘The Friends of Red Jenny’ are sort of out there. I used them to help you. Plus arrows.”

Beatrix thought about it for a minute. It made sense. They had plenty of people who could work at the top in their interests, but there was more than just the wealthy to consider. ‘Little people’ as Sera put it could serve as useful allies too. Obviously, they would not be useful in the same way, but Beatrix was a little worried for her pants safety should she say no.

Apparently she took too long to think, because Sera started arguing rather defensively, “Look, do you need people or not? I want to get everything back to normal. Like you?”

“Alright, Sera. You’re right. You and your ‘Friends’ could prove particularly useful. Welcome to the Inquisition.”

“Yes! Get in good before you’re too big to like. That’ll keep your breeches where they should be. Plus extra breeches, because I have all of these . . .you have merchants who buy that pish, yeah? Got to be worth something. Anyway, Haven. See you there, Herald. This will be grand.” With that, Sera skipped off into the night. 

Beatrix sighed heavily and turned around to make her way through her friends to head back the way they came. “When we get back to camp, I am going to sleep, and the first person who tries to wake me up in the morning is getting a black eye.”


	15. A Plethora of Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are, fifteen chapters and over 30,000 words later. I honestly could not put into words how proud I am of both this story and myself. I have never stuck with something this long. And yeah, I am 100% getting mildly emotional right now, but hey it's been one hell of a journey.
> 
> Quick warning after the next five chapters, I will probably take a week off to enjoy the one single week of summer vacation I have before I have to return to school. Regardless, I hope y'all are ready for the drama about to happen next chapter. The angst is upon us.

Unfortunately, the group was stopped on their way out of Val Royeaux by a lithe elven woman dressed in robes of a fine quality. She stepped out of the shadows and nearly gave Beatrix a heart attack. “May I have a moment of your time?”

Cassandra took a step closer to her, squinting to get a good look at the woman. “Grand Enchanter Fiona?”

“Leader of the Mage Rebellion?” Solas also stepped closer to the woman, but kept his voice far quieter than Cassandra. He was almost reverent in his tone and expression. “Is it not dangerous for you to be here?”

“I heard of this gathering, and I wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste with my own eyes.” Fiona smiled warmly in Beatrix’s direction. “If its help with the Breach you seek, perhaps you should look to the mages instead of the Templars.”

Beatrix didn’t have the energy to even begin to contemplate the offer. “I’m going to level with you, Grand Enchantress. I am exhausted. This has been the longest day of my life, and all I really want to do is go the fuck to sleep. I appreciate the offer of aid, I really do, and I was already planning on talking to the mages and templars both to seek their assistance. We need all the help we can get to close the Breach, but I can see now that there is no way to get the both of you to work together, even if it is for the greater good. And I’m sorry, but I cannot make this decision on a whim just because Lord Seeker Doucheface was an ass and you are not.” Beatrix paused to take a breath that ended up being closer to a sigh. “I will need to talk to my advisors in Haven before I say anything further on us working together.”

“Well then, simply consider this an invitation to visit Redcliffe. We can discuss any qualms you may have over our possible arrangement at length there.”

“Thank, Grand Enchantress.”

“Good night, Lady Herald.”

Beatrix watched as Fiona slunk back into the shadows and sighed. “Sorry, Cass. I know I kinda fucked it up.”

“Don’t be. I think that went rather well, all things considered. Now, let’s get some sleep before your tongue becomes sharp enough to stab someone.” Cass turned and headed further down the bridge towards their camp outside the city. 

Beatrix had to hold back her surprise. She had assumed Cass would be critical of her word choices; Fiona was a potential political ally after all. Strangely though, Cass’s tone of voice sounded almost proud. Beatrix followed the Seeker to camp in a sort of trance, trying to understand why Cass had sounded that way. Eventually she dozed off, Cass’s words still playing on a loop in her mind. In the morning, Beatrix forced herself to roll out of her bedroll only to be met by an overly energetic elven woman. Sera, she had almost forgot that she would be joining them on the trip back. Solas was already shooting the newcomer dirty looks from across camp. “Well this should be fun. . .”

The return trip wasn’t nearly as grueling as the original trip to the capital. In part, due to Sera’s constant practical jokes on everyone. No one was safe from her mischief, not that Beatrix minded. She brought a certain excitement and joy to the group’s typically somber trips. By far, Sera’s seemingly favorite individual to prank was the only other elf in their company. Solas, of course, refused to find any humor in her hijinks and remained glum, and mildly angry, until they reached Haven. 

Upon arrival to the sunset soaked town, Solas departed the group, immediately heading to his cabin, presumably to escape their new trickster friend. As always, the Council was waiting on the steps leading up to the Chantry. Beatrix looked to Varric as she handed off her horse to a stable hand. “Show our new friend around, will you? I’ll talk with the Council to figure out where she can stay.”

Sera apparently overheard them, as she piped up from behind Beatrix, “Is alrite. I’ll find a place. Don’t worry your pritty little head about it.” Varric rolled his eyes and was rewarded with Sera sticking out her tongue at him as she moved to stand next to him. 

“Well, alright, just don’t cause too much mischief. Please.” She a very non-committal response from the pair, but they hurried away before she could chastise them further. Beatrix sighed and turned her gaze to the stairs where her attention truly was required. All three of the Council members had varying degrees of concern on their faces, with Cullen looking the most visibly worried. “So,” she began after meeting them on the stairs and continuing past them to the Chantry, “the Chantry neither lends us nor denies us their support, as I’m sure you all know from my report. And we are no closer to closing the Breach than we were before.”

Cullen spoke up, disappointment ringing through his every word, “It’s a shame the Templars have abandoned their senses, as well as the capital. 

Sighing softly, Josephine interjected before Beatrix had the chance to respond, “Well, that is not entirely true. The mages have shown some interest in working with us, and there seem to be some among the Templars who are willing to aid us in our cause.”

“True, but they refuse to work together. And there are significant issues with both sides.”

“Beatrix is right. Lord Seeker Lucius is not the man I remember.”

“True. He has taken the order somewhere, but to do what? My reports have been rather. . .odd.” Leilana had been staying towards the back of the group, but drew closer as they entered the Chantry proper. 

“We must look into it!” Cullen quickened his pace to catch up to Beatrix. The look in his eyes was pleading. “I’m certain not everyone in the order will support the Lord Seeker.”

Josephine also joined Beatrix on her other side. “Or we could simply go to meet the mages in Redcliffe.” Beatrix suddenly understood what it felt like to have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The only problem was that she wasn’t quite sure which was which. 

Cullen stopped short and raised his voice. “You think the mage rebellion is more united? It could be ten times worse.”

“It doesn’t matter who we choose. Just that we do, in fact, choose.” Beatrix looked between the two of them feeling very much torn. “We cannot succeed without some form of help. So we must all stop bickering and make a decision.”

“I agree.” Cassandra’s voice rang out from behind her. Beatrix hadn’t noticed the Seeker had tagged along on their little discussion. She didn’t regularly attend Council meetings anymore, choosing to spend her time and energy elsewhere. 

Josephine met Beatrix gaze and held it, while very clearly responding to Cassandra. “We shouldn’t discount Redcliffe. The mages may be worth the risk.”

“They are powerful, Ambassador, but more desperate than you realize. And if even a few among the rebel mages were responsible for what happened at the Conclave. . .”

“The same could be said about the Templars, Lady Seeker.”

Beatrix and Cullen quickly looked at each other before looking back to the strong women seemingly at odds with each other for the moment. “True enough,” Cullen took a step forward, clearly trying to remove some of the tension. “Right now, I’m not entirely certain we have enough influence to approach either safely.”

“So back to work then?” Beatrix looked around the group. No one was happy with where the decision lay at the moment, but it was equally clear that they all knew when to let things rest. They didn’t have enough information, and, more importantly, even if they did, they weren’t powerful enough to do anything with that information. Beatrix dismissed the Council with a nod of her head and turned to leave the Chantry, but was stopped by Leliana. 

“There is one other matter for your attention.” Beatrix gave Leliana a nod, indicating her to continue. “Several months ago the Grey Wardens of Fereldan vanished. I sent word to those in Orlais, but they have also disappeared. Ordinarily I wouldn’t even consider the idea that they’re involved in all this, but the timing is. . .curious.”

“Why are you telling me all this, Leliana? I agree it’s odd, but what purpose does it serve?”

“The others have disregarded my suspicion, but I cannot ignore it. Two days ago my agents in the Hinterlands heard news of a Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall. If you have the opportunity, please seek him out. Perhaps he can put my mind at ease.”

“I hate to say this, Leliana, but what if he can’t?”

“Then, there may be more going on than we thought.” Leliana walked away from Beatrix without another word, heading in the direction of a rather anxious looking scout who had just entered the Chantry. 

On her way out of the Chantry, Beatrix was stopped by a rather attractive looking individual. They were not her type, but she could appreciate beauty when she saw it. They were dressed in rather impressive looking plate mail and had the vibe of a battle hardened soldier. “Excuse me, I have a message for the Inquisition, but I’m having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me.” 

“I don’t recognize you. Who are you, soldier?”

“Cremisius Aclassi, with the Bull’s Chargers Mercenary Company. We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra. We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast. My company commander, Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge. If you’d like to see what the Bull’s Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work.”

“And why exactly is your commander offering me this information free of charge?”

“He normally doesn’t pick sides, but this time he did. I dunno why. He wants to work for the Inquisition. He thinks you’re doing good work.”

“Well, thank you, Cremisius. I will have to think about the offer and run it past the Council.” They smiled, a look of understanding evident on their face. Beatrix walked away from them, heading not in the direction of her own cabin, but Solas’s. There was one more conversation she needed to have before the night was over. One that had weighed heavy on her mind for far too long.


	16. Read Between the Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which, Beatrix, in fact, does not read between the lines, and only takes words at face value. 
> 
> Anyways, I have been kinda dying to write this chapter. Mainly because I love Solas as a character, and I love how much foreshadowing there is for what inevitably happens that you never pick up on. Ya girl loves some good foreshadowing and subtext.

Beatrix knocked on Solas’s door upon arrival to his cabin. There was no answer, so she did the only logical thing, which was to bang on his door continuously until he yanked it open and she nearly punched him in the face. 

“WHAT!?!” The snarl on Solas’s face dissipated quickly when he realized who it was. “Beatrix? I’m sorry. I thought you were the Seeker. Or that. . . miscreant. . .”

“Sera is not a miscreant, Solas.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes in response. “Can I come in?”

“Why? Are you injured already?” He turned and disappeared into the dimness of his cabin. Beatrix followed him in, noticing the dying in the fireplace. “Really, Beatrix! We haven’t even been in Haven a few hours.” He was already rifling through the chest he kept all his medical supplies and remedies in. 

“I’m fine, Solas. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

He froze and turned around to face her, a roll of bandages in one hand and a potion in the other. “Really?”

“Yes. I need your advice on a somewhat sensitive topic.”

“Isn’t this the kind of thing you usually go to the Seeker about?”

“Normally, yes, but she isn’t as well versed in the Fade and, just, all of this as you are.”

“I see.” He returned the supplies to the chest and closed the lid once more. He moved slowly as if he was unsure of just how to proceed. “So, you have questions about the Fade, then?”

“Yes! Well, no. . . I mean. . .Kinda? It’s complicated.”

“Well, then, take a seat, and I will try my best to supply you with the answers you so desire.” 

Beatrix sighed and took a seat near the dying fire. “I just - I’m curious about what will happen when all this is over. To me. When we close the Breach and everything is returned to normal, what happens then?” She looked at Solas as he sat beside her, his face somehow more pensive than normal. “I mean, will there be a way for me to get back when all this is over? Back to where I came from before all this, I mean.”

Solas was carefully studying her face as she spoke and leaned back in his chair, contemplating her questions when she finished. “Well, I cannot say anything for certain. That is not an area I have studied with any particular detail.” He paused briefly, choosing his words with great care. “I would hope that your desires would be realized, but I can say little about what will definitely happen. It is far more often than not that the world supplies us, not with what we want, but with what we need. So, for your sake, I hope you are returned safely to those you love when all this is over, but hope does very little in times like these.” He turned back to look at her again, and his eyes looked almost sad. A smile crossed his face, but it was full of sorrow.

“Please don’t get me wrong, Solas. I like it here, love it even, but I just - I miss my family. All of this, all the people I have met, it’s wonderful, and a very large part of me doesn’t regret, even for a moment, any of it. But, there is a part of me, however small, that yearns to go back, if for nothing more than to say things I should have a long time ago.”

Solas looked at her out of the corner of his eye before gazing into what had once been a fire. The dying embers sparked back to life as he did so, and a fire fed by nothing but sheer magic flickered among the ashes. “I see.” His eyes narrowed into slits for the slightest of seconds, but it was just long enough for Beatrix, who was searching his face desperately for any answer, to catch the change. “I, of all people, understand what you are feeling. Regret and hope, anger and happiness, loss and fulfilment all tangled together into a knot that one cannot even begin to unravel. You were right to say that it is. . .complicated.” They sat silently for a while, and, slowly, the hardness of his face softened. Once more he turned his gaze to her, the expression that graced his features was one she did not recognize. His eyes held a softness she had not seen before, and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. 

“What, Solas? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I hadn’t realized I was looking at you in any way out of the ordinary.” His face returned once more to its stoic mask. “I was just thinking about how different you are now from the girl who fell out of the Fade all those months ago. You have gone from a nearly useless, abrasive girl to a woman worthy of her position in this organization who routinely showcases her impressive leadership and decision making skills. I can almost say that I am proud.”

“Don’t go getting all sappy on me now, Solas.”

“I speak truth. You are greatly changed, Breatrix, and much for the better.” He paused for a moment, staring into the fire for the correct words. “If you desire, I could stay behind when you next venture out and research answers to the questions you hold.”

“Thank you, Solas. I would appreciate that very much. Can I ask you something else before I leave you?”

“I suppose.”

“Why do you not like Sera? She is an elf like you. I know you are proud of your heritage. I thought that you would find it refreshing to not deal with a non-elf for once.”

Solas sighed deeply, a furrow quickly forming in his brow. “First of all, I am not an ‘elf’ as you so crudely put it in your ignorance, I am elvhen. Sera and I are as alike as a dog and a wolf. We may have similar ancestors and bloodlines, but when it comes down to it we could not be more different. She has turned her back on the ways of our people, more so than most elvhen. I, as you well know, cherish my people’s history and culture, so to compare us in such a way is, well abhorrent.” 

“I am sorry, Solas. I didn’t mean to offend you!”

“No, it is alright. I understand your curiosity. Now, if that is all, I should get to work.” He stood up from the chair with a slight flourish. “I shall need to have the Lady Josephine order some very specific tomes for me.” He started rifling around on his desk for parchment, a quill, and ink, presumably to begin writing his list. 

“Yes, of course. I’ll leave you in peace.” Beatrix did not receive any kind of verbal communication in return, just a wave of his hand, his back still turned to her. She chuckled softly and left him to his work, closing the cabin door gently behind her. Beatrix began to meander through the town in the general direction of her cabin, stopping and chatting with the villagers as she went. In the back of her mind, she knew that she would need to depart as soon as Vivienne got settled, but she was going to enjoy her time here while she could. 

It took several days for Vivienne and her retinue to arrive, and roughly a week after that to become fully settled in. Beatrix hadn’t seen much of the Grand Enchantress beyond the odd conversation here and there in passing. Both women had been busy with their respective duties. Beatrix had an organization to run and a mission to plan, and Vivienne had a simple cabin to transform into her elegant, and extravagant taste. When asked why, Vivienne would only ever respond with, “A lady gets used to a certain level of comfort, that’s all, darling.”

After far too long for Beatrix’s taste, Cassandra, Sera, Vivienne, and herself all set out for the Hinterlands. The Council had agreed that at the very least they should attempt to talk to the mages before reaching a final decision, but Beatrix had already decided that it was going to be important to find the Grey Warden that Leliana had heard about on this trip as well. They were going to need more allies in the war that was sure to come, and from what she had heard a Warden couldn’t hurt. 

The entire length of their trip Sera and Vivienne fought. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. Every single issue they came across both women had wildly differing opinions, and would inevitable squabble over the other’s wrongness. When they weren’t bickering like two old women, they would tease each other, meanly. It wasn’t long before Cassandra and Beatrix unanimously agreed to never allow the two to travel together again. The two were an absolute nightmare together. Once in the Hinterlands proper, the arguing did not cease, and it took the group about a week before they finally found it: a lone cabin deep within the forest a surrounded by a swamp. Beatrix was sure that it had to be the missing Grey Warden, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to restrain herself from killing her new allies.

The sound of fighting broke her out of her internal musings. She looked across the marsh to see four men, only one of which wearing substantial looking armor, being attacked by easily twice their number, all much better outfitted. There was no thinking as Beatrix tore across the bridge to aid the struggle; it was only her gut reaction. She yelled to gain the assailants attention as she drew her sword and stepped onto solid land near the fighting. She had no idea if her companions had her back or not, but she threw herself into the fray anyways.


	17. A Complete and Utter Shit Show (Well, Almost)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that after posting last week's chapter, I hated the ending, so I added an additional paragraph. It's not much, but it was a better ending in my opinion. Also please note that the forthcoming few chapters might be shit cause I'm under a lot of personal stress atm due to finals looming on the horizon. BUT I promise to try my best to keep them not shitty.

The fighting ended as quickly as it had begun, and all that remained were the Grey Warden, his conscripts, Beatrix, her companions, and a whole lot of dead bodies. Beatrix hung back while the Grey Warden dismissed the conscripts, simply observing. She waited patiently as the men filtered past her, their jobs now done. “Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?”

“How do you - How do you know my name?”

“It’s a long story. I’m here as an Agent of the Inquisition.” Beatrix paused for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction. Blackwall, unfortunately, allowed no emotion to show on his face. “We have questions about the disappearance of the Grey Wardens. There are some who claim that they have something to do with the death of the divine.”

“Maker’s balls!” Sera sickered loudly from behind Beatrix at the Warden’s exclamation, but he continued as if he hadn’t noticed. “The Wardens and the Divine? That can’t - no.” He firmly met Beatrix’s gaze. It felt like he could see everything see was thinking with just that look. “You’re asking, so you don’t really know.” He paused again and nodded after a moment, as if his suspicions were suddenly confirmed. “First off, I didn’t know they disappeared, but we do that, right? No more Blight. Job done. Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I’ll tell you, no Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn’t political.”

“I’m not here to accuse. From everything I’ve read about you, you’re right. The Wardens only exist to stop the Blights, but I need information. You can’t tell me that all the Wardens have just vanished without a trace, and you don’t have the slightest idea of where they are.”

“Well, I haven’t seen any Wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead and no need to conscript because there’s no Blight coming. Treaties give Wardens the right to take what we need. Who we need. These idiots forced this fight, so I conscripted their victims. They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand. Next time they won’t need me. Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are.” There was a wistfulness in his eyes. It was the first true emotion he had shown since the fight had ended. 

Something didn’t quite sit right with Beatrix about the whole situation though. “Wait, why haven’t you gone missing like the rest of the Grey Wardens?”

“Well, maybe I was going to. Or maybe there’s a new directive, but the runner got lost or something. My job was to recruit on my own. Planned to stay that way for months. Years.”

“Well, do you have any idea where the other Wardens might have gone?” She didn’t say everything else that was on her mind, about how they might need their aid in the not so distant future if they ever hoped to fully close the hole in the sky. 

“Maybe they returned to our stronghold at Vicehopt. That’s in the Anderfells, a long way north. I don’t really know. Can’t imagine why they’d all disappear at once. Let alone where they’d disappear to.”

“Well, thank you, Warden Blackwall.” Beatrix sighed. “Unfortunately, I’m no closer to answers than I was when I left Haven.” She could feel her shoulders sag, somewhat defeated. She turned to leave. 

“Inquisition! Agent, did you say? Hold a moment.” Blackwall strode towards her. “The Divine is dead, and the sky is torn. Events like these, thinking we’re absent is almost as bad as thinking we’re involved. If you’re trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me.”

Beatrix thought about it for a moment. Courtesy of Leliana and Josephine’s orders, she had been reading up on Fereldan and Orlesian history. Wardens, even just one, were going to be needed in the events to come. Even a total idiot could see that. At worst, the Inquisition could use Blackwall for his access to the treaties alone to gain new allies. “Warden Blackwall, welcome to the Inquisition!” She held out her hand to shake his. 

“Good to hear! We both need to know what’s going on. And perhaps I’ve been keeping to myself for too long. This Warden walks with the Inquisition.” 

“Well, I am glad we have at least one Warden on our side.” Cassandra finally spoke up from where she was leaning against the cabin.

“Me too, Cass.” Beatrix sent a smile back over her shoulder to the Seeker before turning back to Blackwall. “We have some further business in Redcliffe before we head back to Haven. Is a few days enough time for you settle your affairs and travel back with us?”

“More than enough time.” Beatrix almost could have sworn she heard a slight chuckle in his voice. 

“Well, then, we shall meet you at the Crossroads in roughly four days?”

“Sounds like a plan, Inquisition.” They shook hands one final time before parting ways, Blackwall to his cabin and Beatrix back to the open road to Redcliffe. Upon arrival to the city gates, a problem with their simple plan became blatantly evident. Beatrix now understood why still, after all this time, Redcliffe had offered the refugees no aid. There was a massive Fade Rift right outside the city gates. 

Looking at it, Beatrix was not sure how Fiona had made it out to visit her in Val Royeaux. Three large gangly demons trudged back and forth outside the gate. “Shit!” Beatrix whispered the expletive as quietly as she could, but it was still just loud enough to raise a giggle from Sera. She looked to Cassandra, “So, what’s our plan here?”

“Take out the demons as quickly as we can.”

“That isn’t a very good plan.” Vivienne was clearly less than amused at the entire ordeal. 

“No it’s not, but unless you have an idea, it’s the only plan we’ve got.” Beatrix didn’t hear whatever witty response Vivienne came up with. She was too busy charging towards the demon creatures, silently praying to whatever could hear her that this wouldn’t be the thing that killed her. 

The gangly demons were unlike any they had faced before. They kept disappearing and reappearing at will. The worst part was by far when they would reappear right next to one of them and immediately attack that person. The second worst part was that time got weird as soon as the fighting really started. Things would go faster or slower or in reverse seemingly at will. The whole ordeal just sucked. Sera nearly died, more than once. Vivienne created a blizzard that none of them could see through. Cassandra got knocked around like a rag doll by three different demons, and Beatrix was barely able to close the rift before the demons completely overtook them. 

She hated to admit it, but Beatrix almost missed the boys. They had formed a team of sorts, Cass, Beatrix, and those two. They always worked together well and consistently had each other’s backs. This was a shit show in comparison. They had all somehow lived, but it was still shit show, nonetheless. They were all battered and bleeding and very out of breath. 

“Please take note, Beatrix, I would very much not like to do that again.” Vivienne smoothed out her jacket and strode past the double over Beatrix towards the gates of Redcliffe. 

“How can she be so. . . unaffected?” Sera had blood trickling down her face from a cut on her forehead and her very broken nose. She reached down to help Beatrix right herself. 

“I have no goddamn clue.” Beatrix mirrored Sera’s bewildered look at the mage for a few moments before turning to Cassandra. “So, what was that?”

“I don’t know. We know very little about the Rifts, and even less about what they can do. As you probably noticed, that one apparently altered the time around it.”

“Well, hopefully Fiona will know what is going on.” Cassandra nodded in agreement and the three raced to catch up with Vivienne who was waiting at the gate, her impatience clear as day. Upon the rest of the groups arrival, a soldier called out the all clear and the gates were opened for them, and, of course, one of Leliana’s people was waiting for them on the other side. 

“My lady,” the spy gave a curt bow, “we spread word the Inquisition was coming, but you should know that no one here was expecting us.”

“Wait. What?” Beatrix looked at Cassandra to be sure that she heard the man correctly. “No one? Not even Grand Enchanter Fiona?”

The man shrugged. “If she was, she hasn’t told anyone. We’ve arranged use of the tavern for negotiations.” The scout looked like he wanted to say more but was interrupted by a young elven mage. 

“Agent of the Inquisition! My apologies! Magister Alexius is in charge now but hasn’t yet arrived. He’s expected shortly. You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime.” Beatrix and the scout exchanged a look of mutual confusion before she followed the elven man further into the city. 

Redcliffe was far bigger than Haven but shared all of its quaintness. Beatrix was glad they had the mage to lead them to the tavern, or she was sure that they would have gotten lost. There were Chantry members everywhere, and the people of the city watched them silently as they passed. Inside the tavern, it was quiet and dark. There were very few people inside when they arrived besides Grand Enchanter Fiona. 

“Welcome agents of the Inquisition.” Fiona looked at them all in turn and greeted them with a nod of her head, pausing a moment on Vivienne. “First Enchanter Vivienne.”

“My dear Fiona, it’s been so long since we last spoke.” Vivienne paused to give the elf a quick once over. “You look dreadful. Are you sleeping well?” Only Vivienne could make something so insulting sound so positive and polite. 

Fiona ignored the comment and stared Beatrix down. “What has brought you to Redcliffe?”

“You invited me when we were visiting Val Royeaux. You offered the help of yourself and your fellow mages to our cause.”

“You must be mistaken. I haven’t been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave.”

“How can that be possible?” Beatrix looked to Vivienne for some kind of guidance, but her face was as stony as ever. “Then, either you, or someone who looked exactly like you spoke to me in Val Royeaux.”

“Exactly like me? I suppose it could be magic at work, but why would anyone. . .Whoever, or whatever brought you here. . . The situation has changed. The free mages have already pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium.”

Vivienne once more decided to speak her mind. This time sounding far less friendly. “Fiona, dear, your dementia is showing.”

“An alliance with Tevinter? Do you not fear all of Thedas turning against you?” Cassandra, it seemed, could no longer hold her tongue. Beatrix had to admit she was impressed with how long the Seeker remained quiet with her opinion. She had allowed Fiona to finish her statement and Vivienna to say her piece. It seemed like Beatrix was not the only one who had changed since the Breach. 

“As one indentured to a magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you.”

Beatrix’s blood had started to boil. They had come all this way and now had next to nothing to show for it. “Then who the hell does?” The moment the words left her mouth, Beatrix regretted them. They were undiplomatic and rude. But as luck would have it, a new man walked into the tavern. 

“Welcome, my friends, I apologize for not meeting you earlier.” The man wore mages’ robes, but they were of a different style than Beatrix had seen before. A much younger man, though similar in appearance to the first, followed closely behind him wearing plate mail. 

“Agents of the Inquisition, allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius.” The man had now crossed the room and was standing face to face with Beatrix in front of Fiona. 

“The southern mages are under my command. And you are the survivor, yes? The one from the Fade?” Alexius looked her up and down in a very different fashion than Vivienne always did. He felt like a hunter sizing up prey, whereas Vivienne always felt like a disappointed rich aunt. “Interesting.”

“So, Magister Alexius, what exactly does this little alliance you have with the mages entail?”

“Well, what do you wish to know. . .specifically?”

“When did this ‘alliance’ begin?”

“When the Conclave was destroyed, these poor souls faced the brutality of the Templars, who rushed to attack them. It could only be through divine providence that I arrived when I did.” He looked back at Fiona as he said those final words. The look in his eyes was less than friendly as he did so. 

“It was certainly very timely.” Fiona had an air of skepticism in her voice as she agreed. 

“Well, if you are the leader of the mages, then let’s talk. I’m sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.” Beatrix did not want to work with him, but they had come all this way. At the very least, they could talk about what working together would look like, and if she didn’t like it, she could walk away.”

“It is always a pleasure to meet a reasonable woman.” The way he said ‘reasonable’ only set Beatrix off further, but she still followed him over to the table to sat down at. “Felix, would you send for a scribe please?” Alexius seemed to realize an error he had made, as he quickly backtracked. “Pardon my manners. My son Felix.” Felix departed from them, and Alexius continues monologuing. “I must say, I’m not surprised you’re here. The Breach is not a feat that many could even attempt. There is no telling how many mages would be needed for such an endeavor. Ambitious, indeed.”

“Well, when you fall out of the sky and are proclaimed the savior to the entire world, it’s rather hard to think small. Wouldn’t you say?” Beatrix could feel Cassandra’s disapproval buring into the back of her head, but she couldn’t help the sarcasm dripping from her words. She instinctively didn’t like the guy. 

“There will have to be -” Alexius started ranting about something but was cut off by Felix’s return. The young man was walking oddly and his eyes were glazed over. He didn’t look well. Beatrix immediately stood to help him, and he collapsed into her arms before Alexius could get there. “Felix!”

“I’m so sorry.” Beatrix began helping him down to the ground gently. “Please forgive my clumsiness, my lady.”

“Don’t mention it.” Beatrix smiled for the first time all day. She wasn’t about to mean mug a sick person. 

“Are you alright?” Alexius was gentler with Felix, almost doting. Beatrix could see Vivienne take note of this as she watched from the wall. 

“I’m fine, Father.”

“Come. I’ll get your powders.” Alexius walked past Beatrix and his son, any trace of concern melting away as he went. Felix locked eyes with Beatrix as his father spoke, trying to relay some kind of message with only is eyes. “Please excuse me, friends. We will have to continue this another time. Fiona I require your assistance back at the castle.” At his words, Fiona followed after him.

“I don’t mean to trouble everyone.” Felix finally looked away from Beatrix and followed after his father. 

“I shall send word to the Inquisition. We will conclude this business at a later date.”Alexius left the tavern and his retinue of people left with him, leaving only the four Inquisition members. 

“Well, that was an utter waste of time.” Beatrix sighed and began to exit the tavern. 

“What’s that sticking out of your pocket?” Sera followed close behind her and pulled a piece of parchment out of her back pocket. 

“First of all, we have talked about you staring at my ass all the time. And secondly, give me that!” Sera handed her the paper with a wink. Beatrix carefully unfolded it. ‘Come to the Chantry. You are in danger.’ was all the note read. “Well, this can’t be good.”


	18. All the Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gayness and angst. What more could you want?
> 
> My program exam is tomorrow morning, and I'm dying which is why this chapter in a tad later getting posted than I wanted. Basically the past two years of my life have been leading up to this exam, so it's make it or break it time. So if any of you guys have any positive energy to send my way, I would greatly appreciate it.
> 
> As always, a million thank you's to all you lovely humans, both old and new readers alike. Watching this story grow over the past few months has brought me nothing but joy! Much love!

The Chantry in Redcliffe was not nearly as impressive as the one in Haven, but it was impressive nevertheless. It had a much more gothic architecture style than the Chantry in Haven, and, overall, looked much newer. Beatrix approached cautiously with Cassandra and the others right behind her. She could hear the creaking of the wood and hide as Sera notched an arrow and drew it back. There was a crackling of energy, a chilling of the air around them, and a sharp metallic smell as Vivienne brought a spell to life, keeping it dancing around her hands until she was ready to release it. Cassandra drew her sword and readied her shield for whatever lay on the other side of the door before them. Beatrix placed a hand on the large wooden door and took a quick last look at her companions and friends before pushing it open ever so gently. 

The first thing that greeted them was the sound of fighting. Beatrix shoved the door the rest of the way open with as much strength as she could muster to reveal a single man weilding nothing but a staff taking on two demons alone. He brought his staff down with an audible crack on one demon’s head, and as it fell spun, around to send a bolt of electrical energy at the second, leaving nothing behind but a faint smell of sulfur. Beatrix could feel her mouth hanging agape. The display was impressive, and the man clearly knew it. 

“Good, you are finally here. Now, are you going to help me close this thing?” The dark olive skinned man smirked at her and gestured to the rift in the middle of the building. Before she could answer, it crackled to life once more and spat out six or seven more demons surrounding him. 

“Shit!” Beatrix charged forward, regretting ever having come to this demon infested stupid village. She and Cassandra did their best to keep all the demons off of the mages, leaving Sera to fend for herself. The five of them actually worked fairly well together. The unknown man could hold his own fairly well and would very quickly send and lightning bolt in the direction of any demon that got too close to their lone archer hiding in the corner. 

Wave after wave of demons kept coming, and they kept fighting until Beatrix felt like she had nothing left in her. Only then, did the fighting cease as Sera shot the last demon clean through its skull. Beatrix exhaustedly raised her hand to the glowing rift and sealed it. Job done, her knees buckled and she crumpled to the ground. Cassandra and Vivienne were immediately at her side to give her health potions and help her back to her feet. 

“Well, now, that was fun!” Now the imminent danger had passed, Beatrix was able to get a better look at the stranger. He was handsome for a man, and he clearly knew it. His hair and mustache were perfectly coiffed, and his attire was clearly designed to show of as much of his physique as possible. His voice reminded her of Alexius in a way, but more posh and sassy. Beatrix really hoped that he was on her side in all of this, because she already liked him. “So, how does that work exactly?” He gestured to the mark on her hand. 

Beatrix looked at it, trying to find the words to explain all that she both knew and did not know, but he cut her off before they were even halfway gathered. “You don’t even know do you?” There was a slight chuckle in his voice, but his tone wasn’t fully micking. “You just wiggle your fingers, and Boom! Rift closes.” 

“So, who exactly are you?” Beatrix tried to refrain from glaring as Leliana had told her that such facial expressions had already scared away a few potential allies. 

“Ah! Getting ahead of myself again, I see. Dorian of House Pavus. Most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?”

“Another Tvinter?”Beatrix could feel Cassandra’s scowl radiating off of her as the Seeker spoke. “Be cautious with this one.”

“Suspicious friends you have here. Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable. As, I’m sure, you can imagine.” 

“Why exactly are you betraying your mentor?” Beatrix was not about to trust someone who turned so quickly on old allies and friend. 

“Alexius was my mentor. Meaning he’s not any longer. Not for some time.” Dorian paused, clearly for dramatic effect. “Look, you must know there’s danger. That should be obvious, even without the note. Let’s start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of the mage rebels out from under you. As if by magic, yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself.”

“Wait. . .What?” Beatrix looked at her companions who were all equally confused. “What do you mean distorted time itself? Are you trying to tell me that he arranged it so that he could arrive here, like, right after the Divine died? Is that even possible?”

“Manipulating time itself? Many have attempted it over the ages, but never once succeeded.” Vivienne sounded more than a touch salty about the subject. Beatrix assumed that Vivienne, herself, was one of the many who had attempted it. 

“The rift you closed here, you saw how it twisted time around itself. Sped some things up and slowed others down. Soon, there will more like it, and they’ll appear further and further away from Redcliffe. The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and its unraveling the world.” Dorian had the gravest of tones in his voice as he said those final words, and Beatrix felt a chill run down her spine. 

“You’re asking a lot of me, to just believe you blindly, without any proof.”

He scowled and but back, “I know what I’m talking about. I helped develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work.” He paused briefly to scratch his chin. “What I don’t understand it why he’s doing it. Ripping time to shreds just to get a few hundred lackeys.”

“He didn’t do it for them,” a voice came out of the shadows of the Chantry. Instinctually, Beatrix drew her sword, but she quickly sheathed it when she realized who it was who had spoke: Alexius’s son, Felix.

A smile quickly grew over Dorian’s face. “Took you long enough! Is he growing suspicious?”

“No, but I shouldn’t have played the illness card. I thought he’d be fussing over me all day.” Felix turned to Beatrix, clearly ready to talk about whatever his note had been about, himself. “My father’s joined a cult, Tveniter supremacists. They call themselves Ventori. And I can tell you one thing, whatever he’s done for them, he’s done it to get to you.”

“Why the fuck does he want to get to me? I just met him. More importantly, why are you turning on him, both of you?”

“We share our reason. I love my father, and I love my country. But this. . . Cults? Time magic? What he’s doing now is madness! For his own sake, you have to stop him!”

“It would also be nice if he didn’t rip a hole in time! There’s already a hole in the sky.” Dorian’s commentary, while unnecessary, was still welcome as Beatrix tried to piece the last of the puzzle together.

“But that still doesn’t answer why he would rearrange time and indenture the mages just to get to me.”

“They’re obsessed with you, but I don’t know why. Perhaps because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes.”

“You can close the Rifts. Maybe there’s a connection, or they see you as a threat.” Dorian somewhat trailed off, lost in thought. 

“If the Ventori are behind those Rifts or the Breach in the sky, they’re even worse than I thought.”

“So how exactly am I supposed to stop someone who can rearrange time at will and has some crazy mages willing to die for their beliefs at his disposal?”

Dorian snapped back into focus at her question and shifted his weight towards her. “You know you’re his target. Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage.” He looked between Felix and Beatrix more a moment before continuing, “I can’t stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn’t know I’m here, and I’d like to keep it that way, for now. But whenever you’re ready to deal with him, I want to be there.” He turned and started to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll be in touch. Oh, and Felix, try not to get yourself killed.”

Felix chuckled before turning to walk away in the opposite direction. “There are worse things than dying.” Beatrix couldn’t help, but feel that this was some cruel premonition of what was to come. 

She turned around to her companions. “So, Haven, anyone?” They all nodded both tiredly and enthusiastically. It was quite the sight to see. The road back to Haven was long and surprisingly quiet. Blackwall was not much of a talker and the rest of them were just tired of being together. Beatrix knew that, unfortunately, they wouldn’t be in Haven for long. There was still much to do before the Council came to their decision on who to support. She had been thinking about visiting the Bull’s Chargers, as they could prove useful allies, but part of her was still uncertain. 

Upon arrival to Haven, a very quick Council meeting was held, and only the briefest of reports were given. Beatrix just did not have it in her to go on at length about how icky Alexius was, or at least the vibes he gave off were. Leliana was thankful for the discovery of Blackwall, and everything seemed to be going according to plan. Everything except Josephine, who just glared at Beatrix and Cassandra from across the table whenever she thought they weren’t looking. 

It had been agreed upon that Beatrix should wait at least a short while before heading back out. Apparently, her exhaustion was showing, and the Council was worried about her. While Beatrix was anxious to get everything over with, she knew that running herself ragged would solve nothing. Besides, she had to plan their trip to the Storm Coast and decide who to take with her. 

After a few days of being cooped up inside her cabin, Beatrix was almost relieved to hear the knock at her door early in the morning. She assumed that it was Cassandra ready to inform her that it was time to depart on the orders of the Council, but it was not Cassandra who stood outside her door in the pale light of dawn. 

“Jose - Lady Montilyet? How can I help you?” Beatrix stood stubbornly in her doorway, not allowing the beautiful Antivan to cross the threshold. 

“My lady, may I come in - ?”

“Why?” Beatrix cut her off short. She knew it was rude, but she couldn’t help remembering the daggers that had been so clearly mentally thrown at her only a few days before. 

“I feel the need to apologize. . .and explain my recent behavior.” Josephine looked down sheepishly at her boots, and Beatrix felt a pang of guilt. She stepped aside for the ambassador to enter, not saying anything. “Thank you!”

Beatrix just nodded, not yet trusting herself to have her frustration and mild anger in check. “I’ll put on some tea.” She didn’t really need to drink any tea as she was already relatively awake, but at the very least it would give her something to do besides shuffle around awkwardly. She could feel Josephine staring at her as she worked. She looked over her shoulder to try to get a glimpse of her expression, but couldn’t quite make out all that was there. Josephine was already hard to read, but she saw admiration but also some pain and a small amount of anger all mixed together. 

“So, I need to apologize to you for my coldness these past few visits of yours. I - I don’t know quite how to put it.” Beatrix heard the creaking of wood and Josephine sat in a chair. “I guess the easiest way to put it is that I have developed some small amount of affection for you, and you are never here which is upsetting in and of itself. But then I see you with Lady Cassandra, and I see how close the two of you are. And I just - I get so angry that I can’t control myself. And that isn’t neither becoming of a lady nor right. But, anyways,” The chair creaked again as Josephine stood and stared pacing, clearly just rambling about everything that she had kept pent up inside until this point. “I know I shouldn’t be telling you any of this, and that you probably don’t feel the same way. And I know you want to close the Breach so you can go home, back to the girl you truly love, but I can’t help how I feel. And maybe -” Josephine fell utterly silent as Beatrix stood up rather quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Beatrix slowly turned and met Josephine’s gaze. “I’m not upset. I - can we back up to the part where you are jealous of Cassandra, please?”

“Oh, yes, well you two spend so much time together, and most of the time I get to spend with you is always shared with other people. Not to mention, that Cassandra knows so much more about you than I do.”

“I can promise you that you don’t need to be jealous of Cassandra. She is my mentor and friend. Nothing more.”

“I see.”

“And besides, like you said yourself, we have barely seen each other without the presence of others. How can you know that you truly like me in this way? You can’t. You like an idea of who you think I am.” Beatrix leaned against her desk in the corner of the cabin with a sigh. She distinctly remembered having this same conversation with her younger sister many times about random boys. 

Josephine took several slow purposeful strides towards her. “I can assure you, Beatrix, I am a woman who very much knows her own mind. I wouldn’t be revealing all of this to you if I was not sure.” With that, Josephine rested a hand upon Beatrix’s shoulder, leaned in, and placed a light kiss upon Beatrix’s cheek. “And I understand if you do not feel the same, but I felt it only right to tell you.”

Beatrix could feel the blush creep up over her as Josephine walked out of the cabin. She couldn’t help but notice the subtle sway of the ambassador’s hips as she left. Beatrix;s entire body felt hot and sweaty, and her nerves were on fire. Her heart was beating hard and fast in her chest, and she felt short of breath. “Shit.”


	19. Beatrix and the Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There can only be one functional gay per story. I don't make the rules. I just enforce them.
> 
> Sorry for yet another slightly late chapter. My gal pal wasn't feeling well, so I had to take care of her when I got home from class. Speaking of class, I PASSED MY EXAM! Thank you all for the well wishes and support, it meant to world to me. I'm so glad to have that stress gone from my life.

In light of recent revelations given to her by a certain fine Antivan lady, Beatrix decided that, instead of dealing with her emotions and feelings like a normal person, she would run away to the Storm Coast with the boys far, far away from any mention of cute girls, or dramatic proclamations of the heart, or kisses on any cheeks, or anything of that nature. It was weird that ‘the boys’ no longer only included Solas and Varric, but Blackwall as well. A change that took Beatrix the majority of their trip to adjust to. The decision to not bring along Cassandra had ruffled more than a few feathers, and more than one argument had been made over said decision. Beatrix felt it was necessary as Cassandra was tired and in need of a break, which was apparent to anyone and everyone who knew anything about her, besides Cassandra herself, of course. 

Not to mention, the more Beatrix thought about the conversation, the more she had to admit that Josephine may have been a tiny bit correct. Beatrix did have a very small crush on the Lady Seeker, but it was a meaningless crush between a student and a mentor with no real substance. At the end of the day, Beatrix knew there was nothing there beyond admiration and mutual respect. However hard it was to leave her mentor at home, Beatrix stood by her decision that it was the right thing to do. Why, exactly? She wasn’t quite sure, but she knew in her heart that it was the right thing to do, nevertheless. 

The road to the Storm Coast was long, nearly two months in length, and the journey gave her plenty of time to sit quietly and ponder and analyze and then, inevitably, overanalyze the entire conversation that had transpired between Beatrix and said previously mentioned fine Antivan lady prior to her swift departure. The boys didn’t talk much, well Blackwall and Solas that is. They both did what they do best, ie sitting quietly and looking off into the distance in a thoughtful, wistful manner. Varric, on the other hand, did his best to cheer her up and distract her, but he always seemed to circle back to teasing her about why they had left so abruptly and didn’t he see said certain Antivan leave Beatrix’s cabin blushing rather hard right before they departed. All in all, nothing really help ease the stress Beatrix had caused herself. 

As the grew nearer and nearer to the Storm Coast, the weather grew steadily worse and worse. What started out as just a few dark clouds on the horizon, turned into an unending, unyielding torrential downpour after a few days travel. Beatrix was miserable, and the boys weren’t much better off. When they all finally reached the camp on the outskirts of the area, Beatrix was ready to turn around and head straight back to Haven. The only bright spot in all the rain was Scout Harding’s smiling face ready to give her a full report. 

“Your Worship! For what it’s worth, welcome to the Storm Coast.” Despite the smile, Scout Harding sounded rather bitter about being there. “I would have sent word sooner, but our scouts have been . . .delayed.”

“Well, that explains why there was such hesitation to let me leave Haven. No one on the Council seemed to think that this mission was worth it.”

“I can see why they would think that. There’s a group of bandits operating in the area. They know the terrain, and our small party has had trouble going up against them. Some of our soldiers went to speak with the leader. Haven’t heard back, though.”

“That can’t mean good things. . .I’ll do my best to find them.”

“Thank you, Your Worship. That’s a relief.” Harding allowed her worry to show on her face for only the slightest of seconds before stepping back into her ever present cheerfulness. “The soldiers didn’t have an exact location for the bandits, but they were starting their search farther down the beach. With all this fuss, we haven’t been able to conduct a proper search of the area, either. Well, good luck, and enjoy the sea air. I hear it’s good for the soul.”

Beatrix couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the last comment. The rain still had not let up and the little of the sea should could see was just a mess of rolling waves. There was nothing good for any soul here in Beatrix’s opinion. After a quick rest and restocking all their rations and potions and what not the group headed out to find the missing soldiers. Beatrix figured finding them was slightly more important than recruiting anyone, no matter how badass their name sounded. 

After a few hours of searching, they stumbled upon a small encampment. Unfortunately, they were spotted long before they reached the camp, and the bandits were waiting to ambush them. The fight was long and grueling, but the four of them worked quite well together. It wasn’t as good a team as if Cassandra had been there, but Blackwall held his own.

“Well, I think we found the missing soldiers.” Beatrix had knelt down to check the pulse of one of the Inquisition soldier laying in a deserted cabin. “They’re all dead. All of them. Because we didn’t get here in time.” She stood up and punched a nearby pillar with a small scream of frustration, an extremely poor choice as her hand immediately throbbed with pain. Solas walked over and wordlessly began wrapping her hand. While he said nothing, the stern look he gave as he finished said everything he did not. She was an idiot. 

“I found this in one of the trunks over in the next cabin.” Varric handed her a slightly waterlogged journal. 

“Why is this important, Varric?” He sighed and took it back from her. He hurriedly flipped through the pages to find whatever it is that was important, before handing it back to her. “What is this? I can barely make it out.”

“It seems to be instructions on how to parlay with theses bandits’ boss.” Varric was clearly just as done with her shit as Solas. The weather was clearly getting to them all. 

“Okay so we just need this serpentstone stuff to make this amulet, and we’re golden right!”

“Yeah, but we have no idea where to look for this shit!”

Beatrix looked between the three men. They all looked as miserable as she felt. She felt more than just miserable though. This place had sucked out all the energy she had for a mission, but she couldn’t let this mission be a failure. “Details! We have other stuff to do while we’re here. We’ll just do that and search for this rock stuff while we are at it.” Varric sighed deeply at her incredibly flawed logic. “I know! Let’s go find that Iron Bull guy! Maybe he knows where we can find this stuff.” There was some grumbling amongst the group, but it was finally decided her idea wasn’t completely terrible. 

As per the Storm Coast and all its bullshit, they headed from one fight directly into another. The second fight they at least had help on so it was over almost before it started. Beatrix recognized the man who had sought her out in Haven, Krem, amongst the group, but the most impressive person on the beach was the large horned man who seemed to be the group’s leader.

“Chargers! Stand down!” While Beatrix waited for him to finish talking to his men, she tried to size him up. He was large both in height and stature, both of which made him a very opposing figure. His horns only added to the slightly terrifying look he had about him. Before she could really form any opinion beyond that, he had finished talking to Krem and was looking directly at her expectantly. “So you’re with the Inquisition, huh? Glad you could make it. Come on, have a seat. Drinks are coming.” He gestured to a nearby boulder on the rocky shore away from the larger group.

“I’m good thanks. You must be Iron Bull, I take it. I hear you’re looking for work.” She followed him over to the tree, but didn’t sit down next to him. 

“I am, but not before my drink.” Iron Bull settled into a comfortable position, and it wasn’t long before Krem had joined them. “I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi, my lieutenant.” 

“Good to see you again. Throat cutters are done, chief.”

“Already? Have them check again. I don’t want any of those Tvinter bastards getting away. No offense, Krem.” Iron Bull chuckled, and Beatrix was left incredibly confused. 

“None taken. At least a bastard knows who his mother was.” Krem walked away from them with a big smile. “Puts him one up on you Qunari, right?”

Iron Bull just laughed after him. When his laughter died down, he turned his attention back to Beatrix. “So, you’ve seen us fight. We’re expensive, but we’re worth it. And I’m sure the Inquisition can afford us.”

Beatrix was slightly taken aback by the bluntness of his words. “How much would this cost me exactly?”

“Wouldn’t cost you anything personally. Unless, you want to buy drinks later. Your ambassador, ehhh what’s her name. . .Josephine! We’d go through her and get the payments set up. Gold’ll take care of itself. Don’t worry about that. All that matters is we’re worth it.” 

Beatrix felt her cheeks grow hot at the mention of the ambassador’s name. “The Chargers do seem good at what they do.” She let her gaze wander over to one of their numbers plunging his dagger into the neck of a very dead man.

“They are, but you’re not just getting the boys. You’re getting me. You need a frontline bodyguard; I’m your man. Whatever it is: demons, dragons. The bigger, the better!” He stood up and walked a ways down the beach with Beatrix following him. “And there’s one other thing. Might be useful. Might piss you off. Ever hear of the Ben Hassrath?”

“Not really, no.”

“It’s a Qunari order. They handle information, loyalty, security, all of it. Spies basically. Or. . .well, we’re spies. The Ben Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. I’ve been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what’s happened. But I also get reports from Ben Hassrath agents all over Orlais. You sign me on, I’ll share them with your people.”

Beatrix paced along the water for a moment, thoughts swirling through her head. Finally she came to a decision. “Alright. You’re hired, but on one condition. You show every single report you receive and send to Leliana for approval. You never give them anything serious. You will keep them in the dark as much as possible. Understood? Even one slip up and I will personally hurt you!”

“Is that a promise?” He chuckled and with a wink turned away from her to order the Chargers to pack up. “So I’ll see you in Haven, then?”

“Yes. Quick question for you though: Do you know where I can find serpentstone on these shores?” Iron Bull didn’t know, but one of his men did. A vein of it was farther down the beach on a cliff just before the shore. The two groups parted ways, each with their own mission. 

After another couple hours of walking, Beatrix and the boys felt a shaking of the earth. They all looked at each other and then up ahead where they could see a dragon and a giant duking it out. “Ok, new plan. Just kill all the bandits and get the fuck out of this godforsaken hell hole!” Beatrix was talking as loud as she dared to be heard over the crashing of the waves and the roaring of the monsters.

“Agreed!” The response from the boys was close to simultaneous.


	20. No Self Help Books for This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is angsty gay hell. . .You're welcome. . .
> 
> So this was by far the hardest semester I have ever undergone, but I somehow survived. I honestly don't know how. ALSO somehow this little idea I started 5 months ago is now at close to 50,000 words, 50 kudos, and 1,000 hits. Thank you for all taking this journey with me. This story is far from over, but will be taking a week's respite while I recoup from the hardest semester ever. 
> 
> In the meantime, I maybe posting a quick little Origin one shot. Maaaaybe. . . .

The road back to Haven had been long and damp and terrible. The terrible part was mainly due to the fact that Beatrix had developed a cold somewhere along the way that had slowly but surely evolved into something more akin to the plague from her melodramatic perspective. Solas did well enough taking care of her on the road, but conditions were not ideal for the perfectionist elf. He forced them to travel at a slower pace, which was probably a good thing, but it didn’t stop Beatrix from hating every second of it. Varric and Blackwall, for their part, did their best to keep Beatrix’s spirits up, but it was not an easy task. It was safe to say that they all breathed a collective sigh of relief upon reaching Haven.

 

Although, Beatrix quickly found out that the only thing worse than being sick while traveling with Solas was being forcibly cooped up in a small cabin with no company save the said bald elf. She had lost count of the number of potions he and Vivienne had crafted and forced her to drink. The The two mages bickered at every possible opportunity, and they only grew worse as Beatrix herself became worse. She fell in and out of consciousness. Her body was warm, but she felt cold. Her coughing became so bad it felt as if her ribs were broken.

 

The worst part though were the dreams. She couldn’t tell what was reality and what wasn’t. She would sleep and hyper realistic scenes would play out in her mind, only for her to wake up and experience more weirdness. She knew that not everything was real, but the lines on reality and dreams had begun to blur.

 

Many things Beatrix had thought happened, but had not. Thus, she began to journal everything she could remember to ask for clarity in one of her more lucid moments. One of the first things she remembered upon arrival to Haven that had proven to be true, was an argument between Solas and Vivienne.

 

_“What did you give her, Vivienne!?” Beatrix had never seen Solas borderline frantic before. It was almost funny._

 

_“A simple health potion. Do not yell at me, apostate!” The last word was said in a hiss, more a curse word than a label as Vivienne glared at Solas from across the room._

 

_“I’m fine. Seriously, it looks worse than it is.” Beatrix was just itchy. The red bumps all over her skin didn’t hurt. They were more irritating than anything else. In her haze, she wasn’t sure where the bumps had originated from. They were just her skin now._

 

_“What exactly was in the potion, Madame de Fer!?”_

 

_“I do not like repeating myself, Solas. As I said, it was a health potion. Simple, average, run of the mill, nothing special.”_

 

_Solas’s eyes narrowed, and Beatrix could tell that it was taking everything in him to not slap the Lady Enchanter. “She is allergic to Elfroot, but you wouldn’t know that all the way up on your high horse now would you, Madame de Fer?”_

 

Since what was referred to as the Great Elfroot Incident, Beatrix had been put into relative isolation by Solas. He no longer trusted Vivienne and was fully convinced that Beatrix just needed rest and a general lack of excitement. Unfortunately, Solas did not know Beatrix very well, and thus didn’t know that his, arguably solid, idea was not necessarily for the best. The fever gripped her mind like a vice, and dreams became her reality.

 

_Beatrix smiled. Max was so beautiful in this light. She was beautiful in any light, but there was something about the light from the sunset as it illuminated the hall of the museum that was different. Surrounded by so much beauty and history, Beatrix could not pull her eyes away from the lanky, freckled ginger turning in circles in front of her, eyes glued to the ceiling trying to decipher all the secrets that lay in the fresco painted there._

 

_“What are you looking at, weirdo?”_

 

_“Just you.”_

 

_Max scoffed and twirled in her direction, stopping just out of reach. “Why do you always stare at me like that, though?”_

 

_“I hadn’t known I was looking in any way that m’lady disapproved of.”_

 

_“I don’t disapprove. It’s just. . .No one had ever looked at me like that before.”_

 

_She wasn’t sure why, but those words made Beatrix’s heart feel like it was full of rocks. She had never heard anything so sad in a very long time. She felt her feet take slow steps forward, closing the gap between them. “Now that is truly terrible.” A small, unsure smile tugged at Max’s lips as Beatrix finally stood toe to toe with her. Silence hung between them as they both worked up the courage for what was to come next. Beatrix, impulsive as always, shot up onto her toes and gently pressed her lips against Max’s. They had toed this line for far too long, and she was done with backing down for it out of fear._

 

_“That was. . .unexpected. . .” Max was the first to step back, though she kept her hands laced with Beatrix’s._

 

_“Good unexpected or bad unexpected?”_

 

_“Good. Deafinitely good.”_

 

_Beatrix let out a sigh of relief. She had not felt this light since her parent’s divorce. She knew she was grinning like an idiot, but she couldn’t help it. A cloud passed by the sun outside and cast a shadow on Max’s face. A brief blemish on an otherwise blissful moment._

 

_“Truly though, this is perfect. Nothing could ruin the happiness I have. Nothing.” Max squeezed Beatrix’s hand. “Except you leaving me. Leaving me like everyone else I care for. Just like you promised you never would. Why did you leave, Trixie?! I trusted you! I loved you! How could you!?” Max was gripping Beatrix’s hand in a vice._

 

_“Max, what are you doing? Let go. You’re hurting me!”_

 

_“Why, Trix? Why? We needed you! Del and I needed you! Why would you just leave us like that!? WHY, BEATRIX?!”_

 

Beatrix suddenly found herself standing next to a trebuchet on the other side of the lake alone. There were tears frozen to her cheeks. She was shivering uncontrollably, the only thing on her body was a thin linen shirt, wool pants, and no shoes. The blanket from her bed was around her shoulders providing some protection from the cold, but it barely helped. It was sunrise which meant someone, probably Solas, would be checking on her soon. Wiping the tears away, she began the long trek back to Haven proper.

 

She had only been walking for about fifteen or twenty minutes before she was met by a very worried Cullen. “Thank Andraste!” Relief flooded his face. He yelled over his shoulder, “I found the Herald!” She only stood there shivering uncontrollably. “What possessed you to trek all the way out her like this? You nearly gave all of us heart attacks!”

 

She barely managed to get out, “I d-d-don’t f-f-f-fucking know. I j-j-j-just woke up-p-p out here,” through chattering teeth. Cullen called out for Bull and threw his cloak around her shoulders. “Th-th-thank you.” She nearly bit her tongue her teeth were chattering so hard. Cullen began rubbing her arms and back to try to warm her up some, but before he could make much progress Bull arrived and quickly scooped Beatrix up in his arms.

 

“Let’s get you out of the cold, boss.” Beatrix wrinkled her nose in discomfort at the Qunari’s title for her. She had nearly forgotten that he called her that.

 

The three of them had reached the front gate before they came across any other members of the Inner Circle, as Leliana had begun referring to it. Vivienne and Solas were arguing loudly just inside the archway while Cassandra and Varric simply looked on, saying nothing.

 

“. . .Well clearly your plan worked so well!”

 

“At least I tried to help her! Instead of just doing whatever I want, whenever I want without seeking any help from anyone or, Mythal forbid, getting a second opinion!”

 

“How DARE YOU, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING -”

 

There pissing match was interrupted by a loud cough from Bull to draw their attention to the somewhat frozen Inquisitor in his arms. Beatrix managed a small wave in their direction, feeling guilty that she was the cause of their latest fight.

 

Vivienne immediately reverted to her cool, composed high and mighty self. “Well then, I think we can all agree that the Herald should not be left alone anymore. At least not while she is under the weather.” She glanced over to Solas, clearly waiting for a word to the contrary from the elf. Solas, almost surprisingly, said nothing. He simply turned and walked away in the direction of his cabin.

 

It was clear to everyone that not even Solas would argue that she should be left to her own devices. A schedule was made, and everyone took turns babysitting Beatrix. After little more than a few days, she could tell time based on who was in her cabin keeping an eye on her. The only one who ever threw the schedule off was Josephine, who had taken to simply working out of Beatrix’s cabin and shooing away anyone she deemed bothersome, which was nearly everyone.

 

Beatrix’s dreams began to develop a repetitive nature. She would dream about Max and the museum and then have everything dissolve into green only to find herself faced with Josephine when the green faded with no idea what to say as the voice of Max was ringing in her ears demanding answers.  Then she would wake up to find actually Josie sitting at her desk in the corner answering correspondence. Beatrix began to resent everything and everyone who wasn’t such in a fever dream loop.

 

_“Beatrix come home! Please! I need you!” Max’s voice chased her through the bright green void as she once again neared the light. She bolted awake in her bed at Haven, Josephine sitting by her side worried as always._

 

_“Not this again!” Beatrix flopped herself back onto her bed with a loud groan._

 

_“Not what again? I’m confused, Beatrix?” Josephine looked at her quizzically._

 

_“This.” Beatrix pushed herself up into a sitting position and gestured around at the cabin around them. “The dream again. This dream. This bullshit nightmare where I get to listen to the woman I loved who is in a different universe and I might never get to see again beg me not to leave her and demand answers as I am face to face with the woman that I definitely have begun to develop feelings for. This! This living hell that I gain no escape from! When I am awake I get to look at you, this dream still fresh in my memory, and when I’m asleep I get to deal with this!” Beatrix stood up from the bed and began pacing. “It’s all such bullshit! I didn’t ask for this. Quite frankly, my feelings don’t matter. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong in this scenario, and why should I. There are no self help books for this kind of predicament.”_

 

_Beatrix stopped and turned to look at the shocked Josephine. “I like you too, okay! There I admitted it! Is that satisfactory for my stupid subconscious!? MAY I HAVE SOME FUCKING PEACE NOW!?” She sighed and flopped herself back onto the bed. “Fuck it. I’m just going back to sleep, so this all just resets like every time!”_

 

Beatrix finally began felt better after a several bedridden weeks, but it took several days before Solas gave his consent for her to start working again. She could just sense the mountain of work that lay in wait for her in the Council chambers. She knew that everyone had tried their best to take care of things in her absence, but there were some things that could just not be helped. Beatrix was glad to be free of the fever dreams though.

 

Making her way to the Council chambers was a weird experience. It felt like everyone was just staring at her like they had that first day upon waking up after her first attempt to seal the Breach. The Council was already well into an argument when she arrived.

 

Cullen was the first to shift into a civil demeanor. “My lady! I’m so glad you are feeling well enough to join us!”

 

“Well, decisions need to be made, and the four of you are making no progress without me.” Beatrix chuckled weakly at her own joke. “Anyways, I’m assuming you are all still stuck on who we should approach for aid.”

 

Leliana spoke up before Cullen could interject. “Both groups have good qualities and bad. There are risks to either choice, but for each the risks are far outweighed by our need for aid.”

 

“Then, please tell me both sides. I know what I feel myself, but this is a democracy, and it is not for me to decide the fate of us all alone.” They spent the better part of a day debating back and forth in the Council room until finally Beatrix could take no more arguing. “Lady Montilyet, do you have a coin?”

 

“Yes? Why -”

 

“Give it here.” A small gold coin changed hands, Beatrix held it aloft for all to see. “Heads we go with the Templars. Tails we go with the Mages. It is clear we will come to an decision no other way. Are we all agreed?” Everyone nodded and Beatrix flipped the coin high in the air. The gold flashed as it tumbled back down into Beatrix’s waiting palm. As it met with her hand, all the Council members leaned in to see the outcome.


	21. We Don't Negotiate With Terrorists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand we're back, my dudes! It was a (shall we say) interesting two weeks. It was nice to have a break, but I had a hard time getting back on the writing wagon. So I don't see myself taking a break again soon. Anyways, we are headed straight into angstville, so gird your loins!!! I don't think ya'll are ready for the pain I'm about to put our lil Trix through. . .

“So how do we negotiate with terrorists?”

“What!?” Cullen looked shocked and appalled at Beatrix’s blunt question to the Council.

“Well, I guess I should clarify here, singular terrorist and affiliated cult members.” Beatrix was only half joking, but she honestly had no idea of what came next. Of course, her open ended question lead to yet another argument, or ‘discussion’ as the Council had elected to start calling whatever this screaming match that was playing out in front of her was. 

There had been an invite to Redcliffe Castle from Alexius that Josephine had failed to mention, and everyone was in agreement that it was both a trap and, unfortunately, their only option. Every opinion, every argument all lead to the same conclusion. The Magister had outplayed them, plain and simple. They couldn’t march with any kind of army without it seeming like an attack on Ferelden. They couldn’t trust Alexius enough to allow Beatrix to go it alone. It was a shitty situation all around. 

“Wait. . .There is a secret entrance in the castle for the family to leave in case of an attack. We could send an agent, or a team of agents, in to undermine whatever Alexius has planned.” There was a fire in Leliana’s eyes that Beatrix had not seen before.

“Yes, and those agents would be discovered immediately. It’s still too risky.” Cullen looked taken aback by the suggestion.

“Not if there was a distraction.” The fire in her eyes turned to a slightly sinister gleam. 

Josephine shared a look with Leliana, and suddenly that same knowing gleam was in her eyes as well. “Not if there was a distraction. Say, that envoy that Magister Alexius so desperately wants to keep attention away from the agents sneaking in the back.”

“With his attention focused on Beatrix, it could work, but it’s still so risky. I don’t want to put our own people in danger like that.”

“Maybe I can be of some service?” The door slammed open and Dorian strutted in, arms spread wide almost as if he was entering into a room full of enormous applause. He stopped next to Beatrix and winked at her before turning his full attention to the other council members. 

A scout, who had been running behind him to keep up, breathless explained, “This man says he has information about the Magister and his methods, Commander.” Cullen raised his hand to dismiss the scout, eyes locked on Dorian trying to figure out this strange man. 

“Your spies will never get past Alexius’s magic without my help. So if you are going after him, I’m coming along.” 

“And who are you, exactly?” Cullen was clearly not pleased with the grand entrance.

“Ah! Dorian of House Pavus. Most recently of Minrathous. Former student of Magister Alexius. Presently, his bitter enemy. At your service.” Dorian gave a flourish filled bow, grinning like a fool the entire time. 

Cullen looked like he wanted to say so much to the very flamboyant man, but held his tongue. Instead he deferred to Beatrix, as had become almost custom. “This whole plan puts you in the most danger, so I leave the decision up to you.”

Beatrix looked once more to the coin still in her hand and back to her friends and advisors. She was silent for what she was sure felt like forever. Until, finally, she nodded in a very decided manner. “We’re doing this.”

“Fantastic! We should get to work on a more solid plan immediately!” Dorian, Leliana, and Cullen immediately set to work on the strategy side of things. Which left, Josephine, Cassandra, and Beatrix all staring at each other awkwardly. Cassandra was quick to clear her throat and make a hasty exit. Beatrix saw no place for her at the table, and thus began to also begin her departure, but was stopped before she could fully exit the council chambers.

“Beatrix, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Josephine was, quite frankly, the last person Beatrix wanted to talk to at that particular moment. After the sickness and all the weird dreams, everything was still so messed up and confusing in her head. She was trying her best to make sense of it all, and failing miserably. 

“Yes?” She stopped just outside the door, in an effort to gain at least a little bit of privacy for whatever conversation was to come next. 

“I just. . .I wanted to say. . .how glad I am that you are finally better!” The Ambassador was uncharacteristically stumbling over her words, and couldn’t seem to find the right ones. “Not that I’m upset you were sick! It happens to us all. And it wasn’t really any bother to take care of you! It was nice to have you here for a change. Not that you not being here all the time is a bad thing! You have a lot of important things to accomplish! Anyways, that’s all I wanted to say.” A bright pink blush had begun to creep up over Josephine’s entire face. “I need to go finish some paperwork in my office, excuse me.” 

Beatrix watched the Lady Montilyet walk away from her, feeling like there was something she missed. Shaking her head to clear the confusion, she returned to her cabin to wait for a summons from the Council that they required her assistance in their strategy preparations. For now, she would only be in the way. 

It took the better part of three days to finalize the overall plan alone, and after a week the finer details were all in place to Cullen’s liking. Beatrix had been forced to think long and hard about who she wanted to take with her on this mission as it was the most dangerous thing they had undertaken so far. Cassandra was a given. It felt wrong to have anyone else by her side if something went haywire. After everything they had been through together, it felt like the most obvious decision. 

As for her other companion, that was a harder decision. She kept debating back and forth between Sera and Varric. It was most obvious to bring someone who knew how to pick locks along in case they ran into a jam and needed a quick exit from an unpleasant situation. Unfortunately, Varric got along with Cassandra and Sera got along with Dorian. The more she thought about it, the more she found it hard to make a decision. It was times like these that she despised the Inquisition’s limit on the number of people allowed per expedition party. Cullen insisted it was for the best so there was always someone to protect their interests in Haven, but Beatrix wasn’t so sure. 

In the end, to everyone’s shock, Beatrix decided on Sera. Varric had been hurt until she explained her reasoning. Sera didn’t have anyone relying on her, so if something happened to her there would be less fallout. Unlike Varric, who had friends and foes all over the continent. If something happened to Varric on Beatrix’s watch, it was likely that Hawke would come and kick her ass personally, something Beatrix did not look forward to.

It took another lengthy week until they were fully ready to depart. Josephine seemed to actively avoid Beatrix at all cost, which only confused the Herald. She felt like Josephine was upset with her, but had no idea why. Luckily, she had the mission to focus on to keep her distracted. Not to mention, Dorian, who was a great distraction. He seemed oblivious to the ‘hopelessly gay vibes’ Beatrix had always been told she emitted and consistently flirted with her at every available opportunity. 

After all the time spent there, Beatrix found it rather hard to leave Haven this time. It had solidified its status as her home in her mind. She was somewhat sad to see it shrink to nothing behind them as her group headed to Redcliffe. Dorian helped her discontent by telling her ridiculous ‘fun’ facts about the Magisterium, much to Cass and Sera’s dismay. This of course lead to a prank war between Sera and Dorian, which grew into a giant contest of will as all of them began to dare each other to do more and more ridiculous things on their journey. While, the horsing around served no real purpose beyond simple distraction, by the time they arrived in Redcliffe, the four of them were something akin to friends. 

Beatrix had felt weird departing from Dorian just before the city gates and heading into what they all knew to be a sure trap with only Sera and Cass at her back. They had come this far, and it was time to see it all the way through, regardless of any personal doubts. There was a somber air to Redcliffe Castle as they passed through silent halls into the formal receiving area. Men and women in white robes and elaborate silver masks reminiscent of jakal skulls stood guard just beyond the doors to the great hall. No one made a move to either let them pass or announce their arrival. 

So, beatrix took matters into her own hands. “Announce us.” A young blonde man descended the stairs and began chastising her for bringing her compatriots. Beatrix rolled her eyes and barely contained a groan of frustration. “Look, where I go, they go! End of story!” The man looked startled by her boldness and looked the two woman behind her up and down. Beatrix just kept her eyes glued to his face, letting as much bitchiness rest there as visible as possible. After a brief staring contest, the man gave a curt nod of his head and lead them up the stairs. 

“My lord Magister, the agents of the Inquisition have arrived.” The man slowly backed away from the scene after formally announcing them. 

Beatrix watched Alexius’s every move like a hawk as he stood to greet her. “My friend! It’s so good to see you again!” Alexius seemed more than happy just to hear the sound of his own voice. “And your associates, of course! I’m sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties.” There was a smugness in his eyes Beatrix did not like. 

Luckily, Enchanter Fiona spoke up before Beatrix could, buying their people some much needed time. “Are we mages to have no say in this? No voice in deciding our fate?”

“Fiona, you would not have turned your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives.” 

Beatrix let her eyes trail around the room, and she did not yet see her people in places yet. She needed to stall. “I think that is the Grand Enchantress wants to be a part of these talks, then I welcome her as a guest of the Inquisition.” 

“Thank you!” 

It was clear by his body language alone as he turned around to look sit back on his throne, that Alexius was less than pleased with that outcome. “The Inquisition needs mages to close the Breach, and I have them. So, what shall you offer in exchange?” His expression changed back to the slightly smug smile. He clearly thought that he was winning. 

“Actually, I was hoping you could tell me about these Venatori I keep hearing about? Or maybe time magic?” She knew it was a lot of bait, but she needed to get him talking so he was distracted. 

Alexius’s eyes shrank to slits. “Now, where did you hear that?”

Felix spoke up before she could. “I told her.”

“Felix, what have you done?”

“Your son is concerned that you’re involved in some dark, terrible things. He -”

“So speaks the thief!” Alexius was very clearly angry, and Beatrix was suddenly concerned that maybe she had pushed him too far. “Do you think you can turn my son against me? You walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark - a gift you don’t even understand - and think you’re in control? You’re nothing but a mistake.” He was standing now, towering over everyone. 

Beatrix hadn’t realized it, but she had been holding her breath since he had cut her off. She finally began breathing again, and tried to make her brain think of something clever to say. Looking down, she noticed her hand giving off a dull green glow. “Alright, if you know so much, enlighten me. Tell me what the mark on my hand is for.” 

“It belongs to your betters. You wouldn’t even begin to understand its purpose.”

Felix took a step forward and reached out to touch his father’s arm. “Father, listen to yourself! Do you know what you sound like?”

Before anyone could say anything in response, Dorian strolled in from around a pillar like he belonged there. “He sounds exactly like the sort of villainous cliche everyone expects us to be. Its tragic, really.”

“Dorian.” Alexius said the name more like a curse word. “I have you a chance to be a part of this. You turned me down. The Elder One has power you would not believe. He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes.”

“It’s funny. You are sounding more and more like a crazed fanatical lunatic than a man I can do any kind of business with by the minute.” Beatrix couldn’t help the smart remark. It just slipped out of its own accord. She watched out of the corner of her eye as the scouts were finally in position and began to systematically take out all the guards in the great hall. All the while Alexius waxed poetic about what his ‘Elder One’ would do, and Fiona and Dorian argued with him about it.

Beatrix was so focused on how well their plan was going that she nearly missed Felix pull his father away for a quiet moment to try to change his mind, but whatever was said, clearly didn’t work. Alexius turned around and called for the Venatori to attack them, but there were no Venatori left to follow orders. They all lay dead and dying on the stone floor. Inquisition scouts standing where they once had stood. He started to back up slowly muttering about a mistake, and before Dorian could reach him, Alexius was casting some kind of spell using an amulet. The last thing Beatrix remembered before it all went black was an inky blue storm blossoming in the center of the hall and the sulfuric smell of magic heavy in the air.


	22. The Most Depressing Shit Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka we had a plan, but then homeslice threw us forward in time and now everything is terrible. . .
> 
> SO! Is it sad that I'm excited for the pain train and just the sheer amount of angst that our poor Herald is going to live with for the rest of forever now? I don't know what that says about me. . .
> 
> As always, thank you for your continued support. Your comments always make my entire week! Sorry the chapters have been a little late since the break. You can all blame Harry Potter: A Hogwarts Mystery cause I'm obsessed. . .

For the longest time, all Beatrix knew was the sensation of falling. In which direction, she wasn’t sure. The fear, that had at first gripped her mind, had long since faded and had been replaced by very faint hope. She hoped that maybe this was a sign she was going back home, that her time here was done, that she would finally see her friends and family again. In the back of her mind, she doubted this hope, but it was all she had, falling in the darkness.

Finally, Beatrix noticed a change in her circumstance. The mark on her hand began to glow with its unnatural green sparks, and, before she could speculate what it meant, she was consumed by the light. Next thing she knew, she landed face first in about a half a meter of water. She didn’t have much time to catch her bearing as two guardsmen in full plate mail walked into what she know recognized was a jail cell.

They said something about the Elder One and proceeded to attack before she had any chance to take in any more of her surroundings. She heard a man start muttering incantations next to her, and felt instant relief that her team was with her. She pushed herself into a stable standing position as quickly as she could to try to counter the incoming onslaught. She didn’t notice until the fight was done that there was only one person at her side. She looked at Dorian then around the room again. “Where are Cassandra and Sera?”

“The more important question is where are we.”

“How is that more important, Dorian?” Her voice grew sharp as she started thinking about all the horrible things that could have happened to her friends. Maybe they were dead. Maybe they were still stuck in that falling limbo space.

Dorian continued thinking aloud, simply ignoring her upset remarks. “Displacement? Interesting! It’s probably not what Alexius intended. The Rift must have moved us. . .to what? The closest confluence of arcane energy?”

“How does any of this bullshit help us find my friends, Dorian?” She was growing impatient with his rambling.

“Think! What is the last thing you remember?” Dorian spun on his hell to face here, taking a break from the pacing he had been doing previously.

“Darkness. . .and falling.”

“No, no, no. Before that. What was the last important thing you remember?”

“Confronting Alexius in the castle hall. There was some kind of murky green energy and the smell of sulfur, and then the feeling of being pulled in every direction at once. It made my ears pop.”

“All that would imply magic was utilized. Let’s see. If we’re still in the castle, it isn’t. . .Oh! Of course! It’s not simply where - it’s when!” A spark of childish excitement gleamed in his eyes. “Alexius used the amulet as a focus. It moved us through time!”

“O. . .kay. . .” Beatrix was struggling to wrap her brain around the whole thing. Magic still confounded her, no matter how many times Solas and Vivienne lectured her about it. “But did we go forward in time or back? And how far in whatever direction? Can we reverse it!?”

“Those are excellent questions. But, unfortunately, I have no answer to them. So we will simply have to work together and figure it out.” Dorian looked around the cell before continuing. “Let’s look around, see where the Rift took us. Then we can figure out how to get back. . .if we can.”

“There are no ‘if’s, Dorian. We will get back. We have to.” She turned away from him and began really looking over her surroundings. At first she appreciated the silence, but it quickly grew unnerving amidst the dripping water and strange glowing red rocks that grew out of everywhere. “So. . .what do you think Alexius was trying to do?”

“Remove you from time completely, I imagine. If that happened, you would have never been at the Temple of Sacred Ashes or mangled his Elder One’s plans. I think your surprise in the castle hall made him reckless. He tossed us into the Rift before he was ready. I countered it, the magic went wild, and here we are. Make sense?”  
“I think so. . .But if he had succeeded and erased me from time completely, would it have just erased me from time here, or everywhere?”

“Ah! So the rumors are true! I always wondered about that. You seem so. . .well, foreign, and yet at the same time there is a distinct sense of rightness to your being here. I honestly, don’t know. While it is pleasant to think that if he erased you from this world that you would be returned to your own unscathed, I doubt that is the case. The universe is very rarely that kind.”

“I see.” She tried not to let the hurt she felt show through in her voice, and tried to change the subject. “So, anything else I should know?”

“Well, I hate to think what this did to the very fabric of reality. We didn’t so much travel through time as punch a through it and toss it in the privy. But don’t worry, dear. I’m here. I’ll protect you.” He added in a wink for good measure, and Beatrix just rolled her eyes at the ridiculous man.

“You never answered me about the others. Do you think they are okay? Why aren’t they here too?”

“I doubt it was large enough to bring the whole room through. Alexius wouldn’t want to risk catching himself or Felix in it. They’re probably still where, and when, we left them. In some sense anyway.”

Beatrix almost felt pity for Alexius for what Cassandra was probably doing to him. She let the silence wash over them again, somewhat glad to be alone with her thoughts, instead of with Dorian’s constant speculation and slightly bad news. It was more than a little apparent that there was nothing of great interest in the cell the pair currently inhabited. “Dorian, I think it’s time for us to move on. This cell isn’t answering any of the questions that need answering.”

“I agree with you completely.” Together, they left the flooded cell and trekked down the equally flooded hallway towards the door. Beatrix very cautiously led the way, and was very disheartened by everything she saw. Nothing was identifiable as in the past or the future, but everything was clearly not good. The glowing red rocks were growing out of every surface and everything had started to rot and decay long ago.

“Without any definitive proof, I can’t say for certain, but I don’t remember ever reading about Redcliffe castle in this state of disrepair in any history book.” Dorian was muttering under his breath behind her as Beatrix very carefully opened yet another door. She was tempted to shush him, but there was literally no one around. Besides the two guards they had killed upon arrival, there seemed to be no living here.

She entered another room into what seemed like just another section of the prison, and she heard quiet singing coming from one of the cells. She hurried over the bars to discover the elven man who met them on their first visit to Redcliffe. She forgot him name, but that didn’t matter. He was here, alive, and relatively unscathed.

“What happened to you? Are you okay?” Beatrix frantically started looking around for any sign of the keys to open his cell. He just kept singing in the same monotone manner, more of a prayer or chant than a true song. His eyes held no life, and his body, while upright, was somewhat limp. “Hey. . .what did they do to you?” Still, no answer.

“I don’t think we shall find any help with him, my dear.” Dorian placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, and it was then that she noticed the tear rolling down her cheek.

She wiped it away hurriedly and turned away from the cell and the broken man that was inside. “Let’s go. We need answers, not singing idiots.” Dorian sighed behind her, but followed silently. As they continued, they began to find dead bodies inhabiting the cells and people on the brink of death mostly encased in what Dorian informed her was Red Lyrium. It was awful. She forced herself to keep her chin up and continue on.

After what felt like forever, they finally came to a suspended bridge that worked as a cross section. Clearly, no one knew they were there, as the guards on duty were very much taken by surprise. Beatrix and Dorian dealt with them rather quickly, and Beatrix used the opportunity to channel of her pent up rage at the transpired events. The fighting finished, Beatrix doubled over trying to catch her breath.

“Be careful, dear. Don’t expend all your energy at once. There is still much we must face.” Dorian helped her right herself and the two headed down the left set of stairs. They came upon yet another room full of cells.

“How many fucking holding cells does one castle need?”

“Well, when it is the base for an evil god wannabe, apparently a lot.” Dorian tried to make the situation more light hearted, but Beatrix was distracted by a pale white hand wrap around one of the bars of a cell ahead of them.

“Who goes there?” A weak, French sounding voiced croaked out.

Beatrix ran the short distance to the cell. “Fiona!?”

“The Herald?! You’re. . .alive? How? I saw you. . .disappear. . .into the Rift.” The elven woman was leaning against the wall, in part due to clear exhaustion and in part due to the red lyrium growing out of her. She looked frail and sickly.

“Fiona, is that. . .is that really you? What happened to you?” Beatrix held back her tears at the predicament Fiona was in. The woman was not quite her friend, but Beatrix considered her an ally at the very least. That was enough for her heart to break a little at the scene before her.

“What’s left. . of me.” She could barely speak. Beatrix couldn’t see where Fiona’s body ended and the Red Lyrium began.

Dorian interrupted her before Fiona could get much else out. “Can you tell us the date? It’s very important.”

“Harvestmere. . .9:42 Dragon.” Fiona’s voice sounded off, as if someone else was speaking in time with her.

“Nine forty-two? Then we’ve missed an entire year!”

“And I wasn’t here. . .”

“Now, now, there is nothing you could have done, Beatrix. You were sucked into the Rift -”

“I wasn’t here, Dorian! Sera. . . Iron Bull. . .Vivienne. . .Blackwall. . .Solas. . .Varric. . .Leliana. . .Cullen. . . . .Cassandra. . . . . .Josephine. . . I’ve let them all down! I’ve failed them when they needed me most. . . I-I promised them I would help them fix the world, but look what’s happened, Dorian! LOOK!” She gestured to everything around them with one hand and pointed at Fiona with the other. Tears streamed down here face now, hot and fast. She knew she was screaming, but she couldn’t help it. Every word she uttered came out racked with a sob. Her every worst nightmare had come to life right before her very eyes. “Everything I touch turns to shit.”

The pity in Dorian’s eyes made her sick. “Oh, dear, this isn’t your fault.”

She sniffled and wiped her face angrily. “You’re right. It’s not my fault. It’s Alexius’s.” Beatrix gripped the bars of Fiona’s cell tightly and leaned towards the woman as close as she could. “I promise. I will do everything in my power to set things right.”

A small smile grew on Fiona’s face. “Your spymaster, Leliana. . .She is here. Find her. Quickly. . .before the Elder One. . .learns you are here.”

Beatrix nodded her thanks and backed away from the cell. She steeled herself against whatever lay ahead and stormed down the hall with Dorian chasing behind her.


	23. The Most Depressing Shit Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka we have some of the gang back together and Beatrix has a small breakdown with more on the horizon
> 
> School is stressful. . .That is all I will say about that. One good thing is, my little phrase "Your soul hears that!" has now caught on to all my classmates and hearing teachers! So that's fun! Hopefully, it will take over the world, and people will stop being so self negative all the time. 
> 
> As always, thank you for all the love, and I hope y'all are ready for the angst train cause it is here and its not going anywhere any time soon.

Dorian quickened his pace to catch up to Beatrix. “You do know that our only hope to get back is to find Alexius’s amulet, right?”

“I am aware, yes.” Beatrix continued marching forward. 

“And you also understand that there is only a small chance that I can use it to reopen the Rift at the exact spot we left, if it even still exists, right?”

“Again, I am aware, Dorian.”

“Okay, well, I just wanted to make sure, because you have this whole ‘warpath’ thing going on, and I don’t want it to turn on me if the plan does not go accordingly. Don’t get me wrong, it's incredibly attractive, but I’m also slightly terrified.” Beatrix ignored him and continued on. He could be scared or not, that was his problem. She was going to make sure that Alexius felt as much pain as she did. 

Every turn they took they were met with decay and Red Lyrium. There was no escaping the reminders of Beatrix’s betrayal in this timeline of events. It was the first time she had truly seen all that was at stake. Though, to be fair, it was also the first time anyone knew even an inkling of what was at stake.

“If Red Lyrium is an infection. . .Maker, why is it coming out of the walls?” Dorian had stopped to observe a particularly large Red Lyrium growth behind her. 

 

“Just another thing you can ask Alexius before I smash his face in.” Dorian audibly gulped behind her, but said nothing further on the subject. 

After a few wrong turns in the labyrinth of identical cells, the pair finally reached the suspended bridge once more. Beatrix ignored the corpses of the Venatori guards, feeling no sympathy for them. The door on the other side gave a small amount of resistance when she tried to push it open. With a scream, she slammed into it with all her weight, and it swung free. Though, the frame did splinter a little in the process. She looked at Dorian, waiting for his smart remark, but the mage kept quiet for the first time since she had met him. 

Beatrix grew more and more upset and discouraged as they continued on. All they seemed to come across was more and more empty cells. Some held long dead bodies. Some held Red Lyrium clusters. Most were empty. As they descended down yet another set of stairs, Beatrix thought she heard a familiar voice. She tore off down the rest of the stairs and threw open the door it seemed to be coming from. 

“The light shall lead her safely through the paths of this world and into the next. For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water.” The voice was unmistakable, even warped and modulated by the effects of Red Lyrium as it was. 

Beatrix approached the cell slowly, afraid of what,who, she knew she would find inside. She could feel tears already stinging her eyes, and she tried her best to hold them at bay. “C-Cassandra?”

It was indeed Cassandra. She was huddled in a ball in the back corner of the cell chanting to herself, until Beatrix called out her name. Her head jerked up, and the Seeker very slowly unfurled herself and shifted into the light. “You’ve returned to us. Can it be? Has Andraste given us another chance? Maker forgive me. I failed you. I failed everyone. The end must truly be upon us if the dead return to life.”

Beatrix’s heart shattered at Cassandra’s words. “I’m so sorry, Cass. It’s not your fault. I should have been there. I should have stopped all this from happening. I’m sorry. Please forgive me!”

“What is there to forgive? The dead cannot stop time from continuing on.”

“But I’m not dead! Alexius. . .he. . .he did something with time magic to keep me from interrupting his plans. I never died, but I did fall into his trap.”

“But I was there! The magister obliterated you with a gesture.”

“Alexius only sent us forward in time. If we find him, we may be able to return to the present.” Dorian finally joined into the conversation, mysteriously holding keys to the cell. Beatrix shot him a questioning look as he unlocked the cell, and he nodded his head towards a freshly dead Venatori guard. How she had missed him, Beatrix was unsure, but she was glad that Dorian had noticed. 

“Go back in time? Then. . .can you make it so that none of this ever took place?” Cassandra stood and strode towards Dorian the minute he unlocked the cell. Beatrix almost smiled. They may have killed everyone else, but Cassandra had lost none of her tenacity.

“I’m going to try. Alexius will pay for what he did. That I promise you!” Cassandra nodded her Beatrix’s impassioned response. 

“Alexius’s master. . .After you died, we could not stop the Elder One from rising. Empress Celene was murdered. The army that swept in afterwards - it was a horde of demons. Nothing stopped them. Nothing.”

Beatrix could feel a few tears escape and trail down her cheeks as she saw the clear horror in her friend’s eyes as she described the events. “I’m sorry, Cass. I’m so sorry. I should have been there. I -” She couldn’t finish her thought because a small sob came out instead. 

Cassandra wrapped her strong arms around her in a tight hug. “You’re here now.” It was like the floodgates had opened, and everything Beatrix had been trying to supress from even before they had found Fiona just came pouring out in hot, angry tears. She just sobbed quietly in her friend’s arms for a few moments, finally snapping out of it when Dorian placed his hand in her shoulder. 

She pulled away from the embrace and hastily wiped away the tears. “We need to see if there are any other survivors.” She smiled once more at Cassandra before exiting back through the door. After what felt like hours, they finally entered another room of cells and heard quiet nonsensical mumbling in the very far cell. 

“We walked and waked where willows. . .No! Uhhhh. . .where willows wail we waited. . . No! Where willows. . .Ahhhh! Remember stupid! They can’t take that.” 

Beatrix recognized the voice and the poem. It was one of Sera’s favorites to irritate Vivienne with, and she had heard it about a thousand times on their first mission together. She approached the cell cautiously, trying to look for any guards this time. Seeing no one, she looked into the dimly lit cell. The light emanating from the Red Lyrium cast everything she saw in shadow. Beatrix could make out the shape if a young, lithe woman, but she couldn’t see exactly who it was. Though, she already knew. “Sera?”

“No, no, no! You can’t be here!” Dorian began unlocking the cell as Sera pushed herself back against the Red Lyrium growing out of the wall behind her. “You’re dead! And they don’t come back!”

“It’s alright, Sera! I’m not dead! I promise!There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Beatrix took a tentative step forward and extended her hand.

“I ain’t gonna believe some demon or whatever!”

Dorian sighed exasperatedly and stepped in front of Beatrix. “Oh for the love of - no one’s dead! Alexius used time magic!”

Sera seemed to take offense to Dorian’s words and gained a small amount of her courage back. “Talk sense or shut it! I can’t think about him!” 

Beatrix placed her hand on Dorian’s shoulder and stepped past him, into the cell. “I promise, Sera, it’s me! Please, come with me. I need your help to set things right. Alexius needs to pay for what he has done.”

“Good. That makes me feel a little better.” She paused for a moment, thinking deeply about something. “The day you died? I ran out of arrows making them pay. Then it didn’t matter anymore. Everything is gone. Or red. And I just. . .I want them to hurt! If you’re really here, I’ll frigging die to spit in their faces.”

“Well, if you come with us, I can at least promise you a chance at that.” 

Sera nodded gleefully and stepped out of the cell with Beatrix. “Alexius is holed up in the throne room. Some guards with big mouths wouldn’t shut up about it. So we gotta go up.” 

“We need to find Leliana first.” Beatrix stepped back into the hall, feeling much more confident in her odds with at least some of her friends at her side. The party headed back up to the suspended bridge, and Beatrix silently hoped that there was some trigger mechanism on this side to release the drawbridge as that was the only route she had yet to thoroughly explore. 

Apparently, someone had heard Beatrix’s scream when she had forced open the door because the bridge was crawling with Venatori. Beatrix handed some extra weapons from her pack to Sera and Cassandra. “You guys ready for some fun?” They both nodded in a way distinctly them. 

It felt right to have Cassandra by her side once more in battle. Beatrix always felt covered. She never felt like she needed to watch her back because Cass was always right there. Cass and Sera had clearly grown to depend on each other in her absence though, as Sera continuously shot down Venatori running at Cass just before they reached her with expert precision. Cassandra didn’t even seem to notice those guards. It was as if she simply expected them to be taken care of. Beatrix couldn’t help the small bubble of jealousy that started to form in her chest. 

All the Ventori dead, they continued on. Beatrix avoided looking through every document they came across, as she would have on a normal assignment, despite the table covered in huge piles on paper and human remains. Dorian picked up a couple here and there, but even he only skimmed them. Neither wanted to stay in this hellish timeline any longer than they had to. 

Beatrix wasn’t sure where she was going, but it was less maze-like up here out of the cells. There actually seemed to be a flow to the halls now, and she felt slightly confident in her navigation skills. What really cemented her belief that she was on the right path was when she heard a male voice coming from up ahead of her clearly threatening someone else. Beatrix followed the voice to the room it seemed to be originating from. She threw open the door but was too late. The body of a priestess lay dead on the ground and three Venatori stood looking over it. 

Just as they turned around, Beatrix plunged her sword into the nearest guards neck, but was quickly struck down herself by a blast of lightning from the mage in charge. The second guard was quickly disposed of by a volley of arrows from Sera, but the mage proved far more difficult. It took all four of them working in near perfect unison to finish him off. Beatrix was panting, and her clothes were soaked with blood under her armor. She spun on her heels and continued down the hall, determined to find Leliana.

Again ahead she heard voices. “Tell me how Trevelyan knew of the sacrifice at the temple.” The first voice was unrecognizable, but the second filled Beatrix’s heart with hope.

“Never!” The single word response was followed by a clear slap and a gasp of pain. Beatrix started running down the hall. 

“There’s no use in defiance, little bird. There’s no one left for you to protect.” Beatrix finally reached the door, but Cassandra put a hand on her shoulder. The Seeker’s meaning was clear: wait for the right moment. 

“You’re wasting your breath.” Beatrix flinched as another slap and gasp of pain echoed through the door. It took everything in her to listen to Cassandra and not simply charge in sword drawn.

“Talk! The Elder One demands answers!” Cassandra nodded and Beatrix gently pushed open the door. The interrogator's back was turned to them, and he approached Leliana with a dagger in his hand. He held it to her throat and growled out, “You will talk!”

“I will die first!” Beatrix coughed to get the guards attention, or at the very least get his attention off Leliana. He turned to see what had caused the noise, and Leliana’s demeanor changed very subtly. “Or you will.” She pulled herself up a little on the chains that held her suspended and wrapped her legs around the man. He tried fighting back, clearly choking, but Leliana simply snapped his neck. 

“Kinky.” Dorian whispered almost inaudibly behind Beatrix. 

Beatrix just ignored him and ran to free Leliana. She grabbed the keys from the interrogator's belt and began undoing the chains. Leliana just looked at her in awe. “You’re alive!” This close, Beatrix could clearly see what all the war and ensuing hell had done to her. She looked easily three times her age, and there was a haunted look in her eyes. 

“Yes. You’re safe now.”

“Forget ‘safe’. If you came back from the dead, you need to do better than ‘safe’. You need to end this. Do you have weapons?” Beatrix had never known Leliana to be scary, but the woman standing before her was downright terrifying. She simply nodded in response. “Good. The magister is probably in his chambers.” 

Dorian looked from Beatrix to Leliana, clearly confused. “You. . .aren’t curious how we got here?”

“No.” She strode past the group and opened up a chest Beatrix hadn’t noticed. She opened it and pulled out a longbow and arrows as well as some armor, all of which clearly belonged to her. 

Dorian continued, despite the response. “Alexius sent us into the future. His victory, his Elder One - it was never meant to be.”

Leliana didn’t seem to care. She just stared at Beatrix. “I’m sorry, Leliana. I should have been here. You shouldn’t have had to go through all of this without me.” 

Leliana moved her steely gaze to Dorian. “We have to reverse his spell. If we can get back to our present time, we can prevent this future from ever happening.” Dorian was sweating a little as he spoke. Clearly, Beatrix wasn’t the only one intimidated by this Leliana.

The ginger woman just rolled her eyes. “And mages always wonder why people fear them. . . No one should have this power.”

“It’s dangerous and unpredictable. Before the Breach, nothing we did -” Dorian was silenced by the flash of anger in Leliana’s eye before she spoke. 

“Enough! This is all pretend to you, some future you hope will never exist. I suffered. The whole world suffered. It was real.” Every word that fell from Leliana’s lips was like another arrow in Beatrix’s heart. Leliana turned away from Dorian, and Beatrix decided to look around the chamber for anything useful before continuing on. More importantly, she needed to collect herself before she fell to pieces again. She had a feeling new Leliana wouldn’t be a fan of a crying Beatrix.


	24. The Most Depressing Shit Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka we came here to kick ass and cry and we're all out of tears. . .well mostly out of tears
> 
> Wow! It's been a week. . . Anyways, due to *slight* exhaustion from work and school, this chapter is a day late (sorry for that btw). But its here now, so enjoy!
> 
> As always though, thank you for all the love and support that has been sent my way! I never thought I would actually be a writer with a story over 50k words and yet here I am. Thanks for being on this journey with me, and I promise it's far from over. :)

Trying to navigate the maze of rooms and hallways of a ruined castle infested with red lyrium was hard enough, but with the added challenge of bickering comrades Beatrix was finding it near impossible. Stealth simply wasn’t an option for the group. Dorian wanted answers, and Leliana was less than willing to give them. Sera offered her colorful commentary at every opportunity, while Cassandra, like Beatrix, stayed quiet and alert. Every new room presented Dorian with a slew of new questions. 

Beatrix was near her breaking point of how much bullshit she could take before snapping, when Leliana broke for her. “Stop talking. You are only talking to fill the silence you clearly despise so much. You don’t want to know what happened. Not really. The answers I have are far from pleasant. Now shut up before you get yourself killed.” The look on Dorian’s face, well some would call it priceless. Beatrix called it shocked, appalled, and very angry. She was surprised, however, that Dorian kept his mouth shut and did not fire back some witty retort.

As time went on, everything started to blur in Beatrix’s mind. It was near constant fighting over a sea of dead bodies and decay. Demons and fade rifts lay around every corner, and where they were not present Venatori took their place. At some point, she just shut down emotionally. The others clearly noticed her change in demeanor, but they said nothing on the subject. All that changed when they entered into a courtyard in an attempt to find some way into the main part of the castle. 

“The Breach. . .it’s. . .”

“Everywhere. . .” Dorian finished her sentence for her as she was too shocked to finish it herself. Sickly green-grey clouds rolled across the sky. There was crackling Fade energy mixed up with them looking like sick malformed lightning. There was some light, but it was wrong. Everything was wrong. 

Cassandra put her hand on Beatrix’s shoulder gently. “Solas said that the Veil shattered. That the fade and our world are all mixed together now.” Beatrix nodded her head as if she understood, but actually understood very little of what Cass’s words meant. Solas had talked to her very little about the fade and the veil, and most of what he had said had gone straight over her head. It was clear though, if she was going to win this when everything was back to normal, she was going to need to learn. 

She climbed the steps looking for an entrance into the castle, but was stopped shirt by a pain in her hand. A rift tore open above her and a swarm of demons poured out of it. Across the courtyard, she saw another rift start to take place. “Shit.” She rolled her shoulders to warm the muscles up at least a little bit before throwing herself straight at the oncoming horde with a guttural scream.

Beatrix had come to a realization. She really hated the smell of demon blood. She hadn’t really noticed just how much it bothered her until she wiped her blade clean after the last demon fell. She was drenched in it. The lacerations on her back and arm stung where the blood of her fallen enemies, now very mixed with sweat, ran into them. She wanted nothing more than to take a ridiculously long bath and retire from the demon killing business forever. 

Catching her breath, she looked across the courtyard turned battlefield to check on the status of her friends. Her left eye’s vision was less than stellar, partly due to the fact it had gotten punched by a demon and partly because it had blood flowing into it from a cut on her forehead, but she was still able to clearly see Cassandra laying on the ground with the wind knocked out of her as well as Leliana handing out healing potions left and right. Dorian and Sera both looked relatively fine, but were catching their breath same as Beatrix.

“I’m sorry. All the potions contain elfroot.” Leliana looked somewhat upset under her hardened exterior. 

“It’s ok. I’ll deal. What’s a little rash and itchy throat compared to bleeding out?” She smiled sarcastically at Leliana and took the potion from her.

“If Solas was here, he would kill me for letting you drink that.” Leliana visibly winced as Beatrix downed the whole thing in one go. 

“Well, Baldo’s not here, so it’s fine. . .and even if he were, I’m sure he would agree with me that a rash is better than succumbing to my wounds.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and let the bottle clatter to the ground. “What happened to everyone else, anyways?”

Leliana seemed reluctant to answer at first. She looked over her shoulder at the others before turning back to Beatrix. “Most of them died in the battle with the Elder One’s demone army. Iron Bull and his chargers were some of the first to fall, being on the front lines of the initial assault. Blackwall and Cullen fell next just as the battle was coming to a close. Cullen was shot in the back, and Blackwall had his heart ripped out of his chest. The last that I saw fall were Varric and Hawke. They died back to back trading jokes and fighting in perfect unison like it was old times. From what I have gathered, Solas worked primarily as a healer, but the area he was stationed in was attacked at random. There were no survivors. Vivienne was called to protect the royal family after the Empress was assassinated, but she too was killed while protecting the children. Josephine died in an attack on Haven. She was basically running the Inquisition on her own at that point, so when she fell the entire order came crumbling down. I was captured while trying to recruit some old allies of mine, and so anything that happened after that is just second hand knowledge.” Leliana squeezed Beatrix’s shoulder comfortingly. “Don’t blame yourself. You would have been there if you could have.” 

The others started approaching the pair, and Beatrix quickly wiped the tears that had started to form out of the corner of her eyes. She was glad to know what happened to all those that were not at her side in this moment. It made the prospect of killing Alexius all the more sweet. “Let’s continue.” She climbed the stairs the lead up to the only accessible door in the entire courtyard besides the one they entered in from. 

The room they entered into was kept up better than the dungeons they had roamed previously. Not to say it was in perfect condition, but there was far less decay and red lyrium growing out of the walls. “Split up. If you find anything or anyone, call out.” Beatrix took one door and began searching through the room beyond thoroughly. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was searching for, but they needed more information if they were going to find Alexius in a reasonable amount of time. 

It wasn’t long before she heard a distant “a ha!” from Dorian further down the hall. She put down the letters she had been rifling through to find the mage. He was hunched over a book mumbling aloud its content as he read. From the little bit she could understand of his mumbling, it seemed as if Alexius had gone slightly mad. “He is trying to undo the events of the Conclave.”

“Still?” Beatrix was slightly taken aback. The entire world was under his control, and yet it still wasn’t enough. 

“Well, his Elder One apparently demands it.” Dorian flipped through the journal some more before returning it to the table he had apparently found it on. 

“It doesn’t matter. We need to continue.” Beatrix turned heel and headed back down the hallway deeper into the castle. While they did see their fair amount of rotting corpses and blood stains on the wall, there did not seem to be any demons or Ventori in this stretch of the hallway. The silence all came to a crushing end as Beatrix cautiously opened a doorway at the end of a particularly lengthy hallway and immediately had a crossbow bolts whiz past her head. “And just when I was beginning to wonder where the party went. . .”

The five of them went rushing into the room beyond, and Beatrix hoped they looked as cool as they did in her head as they did so. The Venatori she had expected, but the demons and rift she had not. She protected Dorian as best she could, while Cassandra simply threw herself fully into the fray with archery support from Sera and Leliana. It felt like they were almost two separate teams fighting on the same side. 

Beatrix focused most of her energy of just closing the rift as quickly as she could. The less demons they had to fight the better in her opinion. She was growing tired. The kind of tired that lives in your bones, and she honestly didn’t know how much more of this fighting she could take. Nevertheless, she persisted. With a violent scream, she sealed the rift and the last of the demons fizzled away with it just as Leliana shot down the last of the Ventori. 

Beatrix sank to the floor to catch her breath and noticed something red and glowing in the pocket of one of the Venatori. She crawled over and pulled it out of his pocket slowly. It looked to be a small shard of glass, no bigger than her finger, and pulsating with the same strange red glow that the red lyrium infesting the walls emanated. 

“What in Andraste’s name is that?” Dorian peeked over her to look at it. “Hold onto it. I want to get a better look at it later.” Beatrix nodded and stood to join Cassandra and the other girls at the large door in this room. Now that she wasn’t fighting, Beatrix recognized the area. She was relatively sure that it was the grand entrance hall in the castle that lead to the throne room. Alexius was close. She could feel it. 

“Maker’s breath. Where did Alexius find this? How did he even move it here?” Dorian looked up in awe at the imposing door.

“All good questions, but can we open it?” Beatrix looked over the entire group for any answer, but came up with only black stares. 

“Perhaps, but it looks quite strong. How desperate and paranoid must he be?” Dorian was still investigating the door, almost fondling it as he traced his fingers over the metal surface. “Wait what’s this?” He gestured for Beatrix to join him. She had a hard time trying to figure out what he was trying to show her at first, but then she saw it. Five small grooves in the exact shape as the glass shard she had found all lined up in a perfect ring around the large circular door handle. “The shards must be how his servants get in and out.”

“Which means we need four more to get inside.” Beatrix and Dorian shared a look of excitement. They finally had him, and a way back home to set things right.


	25. The Most Depressing Shit Part The Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka petty revenge time
> 
> So more than likely, unless some great miracle happens, there won't be a chapter next week. I'm traveling very early Friday morning to a conference 2 hours away, and I need to be sure I have all my homework done before I leave. I'm also hoping to rediscover my creativity. I have like no energy to write lately, and I feel like it shows. So hopefully I'll be back in two weeks better than ever.

After hours of searching around the rest of the castle and killing everything in sight, they finally had all five shards. Dorian had determined that all the shards were, in fact, made of red lyrium. Beatrix and the rest of the group headed back to the main chamber in silence. They were all very clearly exhausted and fed up with the current state of events. Not to mention, how incredibly disgusting they all were, drenched in sweat and blood and Andraste knows what else. 

They all slumped to the ground while Dorian tried to figure out how exactly the door opened. It took him nearly 30 minutes trying every combination until finally the door’s inner mechanism started to move all on its own. Beatrix leapt to her feet, drawing her sword as she did so. Before she could enter the throne room, however, Dorian grabbed her arm. 

“Please remember, he is my mentor. Try not to be too harsh, Beatrix.”

“Please try to remember all that has been done at his hand. Try not to be too sentimental, Dorian.” The words were harsh, but Beatrix was doing everything she could to not completely break down. They were so close to the end, and she was so tired. . .and angry. So many had died at her hand that day. What would one more be in the grand scheme of things? Especially when the one was the cause of some many deaths himself. Beatrix steeled herself against Dorian’s comments and pushed past him. 

The throne room was very much the same as the one they had come from. It was a little more run down and dirty than it had been, but overall not much had changed. Alexius was standing alone on the dias facing away from her and the others. Beatrix saw red as she strode across the room to face the man who destroyed everything she cared about.

“HEY!” Alexius slowly turned to face Beatrix after she called out. It took him a few moments, but she could tell the moment he realized who she was. All the blood drained out of his face, and he started sputtering and backing away from her. “Miss me?” She continued walking forward, closing in on him. “It’s time for you to answer for your crimes, Alexius!”

The shock subsided from his eyes and was replaced by simple complacency. “And here you are. I knew you would appear again. Not that it would be now. But I knew I hadn’t destroyed you.” He turned back around to the fire he had been staring into before their arrival. “My final failure.” His voice was full of malice, and Beatrix was more than happy to match it. 

Dorian spoke up before she could, however. “Was it worth it? Everything you did to the world? To yourself?” Dorian was clearly upset, but it was different than what Beatrix was feeling. He seemed almost sad, while Beatrix was all white hot anger. 

“It doesn’t matter now. All we can do is wait for the end.”

Beatrix looked around to her companion for any clue to what Alexius was referencing. “What do you mean? Everything is gone! There is nothing left to end. . .except you. . .”

Alexius ignored her thinly veiled threats and laughed. “The irony that you should appear now, of all the possibilities. All that I fought for, all that I betrayed, and what have I wrought? Ruin and death. There is nothing else.The Elder One comes: for me, for you, for us all.” 

Alexius was too enthralled with the sound of his own voice to notice Leliana sneak up next to him and drag the half lifeless, limp body of Felix from his hiding place. Beatrix didn’t notice the rogue either, until she was already on the dias about to do the deed. Leliana brandished a dagger at Felix’s throat, letting it glint in the low light just so to get Alexius’s attention. Beatrix was barely sure it was Felix, but his armor gave it away. He was less than a husk of his former self. 

“Felix!”

“That’s Felix!? Maker’s Breath, Alexius, what have you done?”

Alexius kept reaching out for his son too scared to move any closer for fear that Leliana would kill him. His gaze darted between the mage to the rogue, frantically. “He would have died, Dorian! I saved him! Please, don’t hurt my son. I’ll do anything you ask.” 

While Beatrix liked watching Alexius grovel, it was clear from Leliana’s look that it was up to the Herald to make the call. Though, she somewhat doubted that Leliana would adhere to any verdict other than “kill him”. Beatrix’s mind was whirling, and she saw only one positive outcome. “Give us the amulet, and we’ll let him go.”

“Let him go, and I swear you’ll get what you want.”

Leliana looked away from Beatrix, barely hiding the disgust in her eyes. She locked eyes with Alexius and very carefully said, “I want the world back.” As soon as the final syllable left her lips, she dragged the dagger across Felix’s throat and released his body, letting him crumbled to the floor to bleed out. 

Alexius looked at the body of his son and screamed in grief. He struck down his staff and sent out a pulse of green energy that knocked them all flat on their asses. They all got to their feet as quickly as they could, but Alexius already had the upper hand. They all immediately went to work. Dorian began casting a spell to drain Alexius’s power while Cassandra and Beatrix came at his from flanking sides. Meanwhile, Sera and Leliana each took a side of the room to start letting arrows fly from. 

They took away his upper hand relatively quickly, but not before he almost killed Dorian. Beatrix fell back to hand him a healing potion, and Alexius took the opportunity to slip back and hide behind a protective barrier. Beatrix, her companion taken care of, ran forward and slammed her fists against the magic. “FUCK!?!”

Alexius chuckled on the other side and began casting a spell. She didn’t need to look to know what it was. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and a putrid smell of rot permeated the room. He had opened a rift in the middle of the hall. He smiled and waved at her from his safety. Glaring, she spun on her heel to deal with the demons pouring out of the ceiling. 

They continued in this way for some time. Until, finally, they had Alexius cornered in the lower part of the room. He was bleeding pretty badly and was clearly almost out of magic. He was desperate and on the verge of death, and Beatrix knew she needed to end it now before he began truly dangerous. With a scream, she plunged her sword into him from his stomach on an angle upwards towards his heart. She kept forcing the blade further until there was no more blade left. Her hand was nearly touching his clothing and his blood was streaming down her arm. She freed her sword from Alexius’s now very dead body, and stepped away to clean it and collect herself. 

“He wanted to die didn’t he? All those lies he told himself, the justifications. . . He lost Felix long ago and didn’t even notice. Oh, Alexius. . .” Dorian was crouched over Alexius’s body. His back was to Beatrix, so she approached him cautiously and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“I know you cared for him. I know this must be hard. I’m. . .I’m sorry.”

Dorian sighed. “Once he was a man to whom I compared all others. Sad isn’t it?” He wiped his face of any tears Beatrix assumed were there. Reaching down he took the amulet from around Alexius’s neck and stood. “This is the same amulet he used before. I think it's the same one we made in Minrathous. That’s a relief. Give me an hour to work out the spell he used, and I should be able to reopen the rift.” 

Beatrix stifled a groan, but any complaints she had were covered by Leliana who charged over to the pair and demanded, “An hour? That’s impossible. You must go now!” As soon as she finished speaking, the ground shook and an inhuman shriek pierced the air. “The Elder One.” 

Cassandra rushed over to join the rest of them with Sera hot on her heels. “You can’t stay! You must leave!” The ground shook again. Cassandra and Sera shared a look of understanding before the Seeker continued, “We’ll hold the outer door. When they get past us, it will be your turn.” 

“I can’t let you die for me. There must be another way!”

Leliana placed a firm hand on her shoulder and locked eyes with her. “Look at us! We are already dead. The only way we can live is if this day never comes.” 

Beatrix’s heart broke all over again. She rushed forward and hugged Leliana tightly before moving past her to envelope Cass and Sera in a hug as well. She gave their hands a quick squeeze before breaking completely away from them and watching them leave out the door. She could feel the tears begin to form in the corners of her eyes. 

Leliana looked at Dorian one last time before turning to stand guard. “Cast your spell. You have as much time as I have arrows.”

Dorian nodded and headed up the stairs to the dias, his attention fully fixed on the amulet. Beatrix walked backwards to the stairs, keeping her eyes on her friends for as long as she could. She could not allow herself to ever forget all that was at stake. Leliana closed the door before taking up a station at the center of the room while Dorian began muttering an incantation. Beatrix felt so helpless watching everything unfold. 

Sounds of fighting could be heard on the other side of the door, yet Dorian continued. Leliana began praying and readied an arrow as the sounds drew nearer. The door slammed open with a fury and Cassandra’s and Sera’s bodies were tossed to the floor by Venatori they hadn’t killed. At the heels of the Venatori was a horde of demons. Leliana began firing arrows at them, all the while continuing her prayer. 

An arrow hit Leliana square in the chest, and Beatrix let out a small cry. Dorian stopped her before she could run to help her, though. “You move, and we all die!”

Leliana kept fighting on, and Beatrix was forced to watch as her friend was swarmed by more and more demons who started tearing into her. Dorian finally opened the portal behind Beatrix, and grabbed her arm to pull her in. Beatrix allowed him to do so, but kept her eyes locked with Leliana’s the entire time. The last thing she saw was the light in Leliana’s eyes go out as her heart was ripped from her chest by a shade. Then, everything was black.


	26. A Day in the Life of the Lady Josephine Montilyet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm changing it up! (for a single chapter that is. . .) Welcome to a day in the life of Josie. Hope it lends you all some insight.

She had awoken early, just before dawn, like she did every day, and immediately gotten down to business. Her hair immaculately pulled back into a braided bun and her dress perfectly pressed, Lady Josephine Montilyet strode down the great hall of the Chantry towards her office with head held high. It had been over a month since Beatrix and the others had left Haven to visit Redcliffe about the mage issue, and there had been little word. The various other individuals the Herald had collected had all departed the city on their own missions, and all had returned already. She was full of worry she could not show lest she be seen as weak, and she hated it. She just wanted everyone home and safe, if only for a day. Leliana had assured her that if anything bad had happened that her scouts would know, but her friend’s assurances only did so much. 

Josephine had turned to her work, as she always did, to escape. The mountain of documents on her desk that always existed had steadily grown over the month, as she took on every job that even remotely related to her area of expertise. While many were worried she was overworking herself, Josephine felt fine. Sorting through correspondence and tips and reports helped take her mind off of everything. She didn’t have to focus on the Herald or any of the feelings that went along with her, and she especially didn’t have to focus on that conversation. 

It was all that had been on her mind since it happened. She had tried to avoid thinking about it, but of course, the more she didn’t want to think about something the more she thought about it. She still felt like an idiot for almost talking to Beatrix, herself, about it. She clearly didn’t remember any of what had transpired, but it felt wrong to leave her in the dark. Leliana had teased Josephine about it as soon as they all had left. How the spymistress knew about the conversation was beyond Josephine, but she seemed to know a lot of things she shouldn’t know. 

The day went by like a breeze. She had paused her incessant letter writing to have lunch with Cullen and Leliana and give her hand a break. It was always nice to gain their insight, and she was more than a little glad it had become something of a tradition amongst the three. Halfway through lunch, a scout came in and pulled Leliana away to deal with something. 

“So. . .”

“So?”

“Wicked Grace?”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Cullen. You always lose.”

“I’ve figured out your tell.”

Josephine scoffed, “And I’m the Queen of Fereldan!” She threw her head back in laughter. While she did have a tell, Cullen had been saying he figured it out for months without ever proving it. “You shouldn’t say things that are untrue. You will gain a reputation.” 

“Well, this time, I’m not lying.”

“It’s your money on the line.” Josephine stood and walked towards her office with the commander. There sitting in an alcove to the side was a wicked grace board already set up and ready to go. She liked to play games against herself when she was stuck on something. It was safe to say she had played a lot of Wicked Grace against herself lately. 

The pair sat opposite each other and began their bout. They were quiet at first, which Josephine knew drove Cullen a little crazy. He said she was too quiet, and that it was unnerving. “So, still no news?”

“No. Nothing.”

“Cass would write if something happened. She wouldn’t leave us in the dark.”

“True. . .but she may not have a choice.:

“I understand the urge to go there, but let’s not. It’s far too grim a topic.”

“Yes, it is far from pleasant, but we need to consider out alternatives if. . .”

“If Beatrix is dead?” Cullen very deliberately put a piece down on the board and looked at her directly. “If she dies, there is no backup plan. If she dies, we all die.”

“Please, let’s not go there.”

“You started it.”   
“Yes, well now I regret it.” Josephine sighed exasperatedly and moved a piece across the board. “Can we please change the subject?”

“So, what happened between you and Beatrix before she left?”

“Nothing. What do you mean?”

“You’re just different, now. I can’t quite explain it, but you definitely miss her more now than you did before.”

“Well, she is the de facto leader of our organization. It is right for me to miss her presence here in Haven, especially after she was here for so long due to her illness.”

“You are right, as always. But that’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“No, I don’t Cullen. Please enlighten me.”

“You care for her.”

Josephine hesitated for just a moment before setting the piece down. “Yes, well again she is the leader -”

“You know what I mean, Josie!” He considered his options before countering her move. “I think you want to tell her how you feel, and it is driving you crazy because you can’t.”

“That is preposterous, Commander! And even if it were true, which it isn’t, it is not your place to say what I can and can’t do. If I wish to confess my feelings, or lack thereof, than I shall do so with utmost poise. There is no one and nothing to stop me.” Her voice had risen considerably, and while she wasn’t yelling, she definitely wasn’t speaking like a lady should.

A small smile tugged at Cullen’s lips. Josephine looked down at the board. He had her cornered. There was no possible way for her to win at this point, not without losing nearly every piece she had on the board. “You’re right. You don’t have a tell, Josie. You have a heart.” Cullen stood with a smirk and left her alone in her office. 

The day continued on as normal. Josephine was able to get a fair amount of work done before deciding to end her day early. She needed a nice cup of chamomile tea and a good book. She tidied her office as best she could, and headed out of the Chantry. As she took her first step into the low afternoon sun, the signal sounded from the first watchtower. Someone was returning to Haven. Josephine rushed to the front gate, sending a quick prayer to Andraste that it was who she hoped it would be. 

A small crowd gathered at the gate, and all held their breath waiting to see who it would be. The first horse through the gate carried a very angry looking Cassandra, followed by a couple nervous looking scouts. Sera and Dorian were next riding in side by side, laughing away. Then came a jailor’s wagon holding a lone figure in Tevinter mage robes. Finally, Josephine saw Beatrix. She looked haggard, like she had seen something that would haunt her forever. Then, Josephine noticed the procession of people, and her brain started whirling. There were at least a few thousand people slowly trickling into Haven. 

Before she could even begin to figure out what to do or where to put them all, she was swept up into a hug. “I’m so happy to see you!” Beatrix’s voice was unmistakable. Josephine pulled back slightly to get a better look at the woman. Her eyes were tired and sad. She had seen more death this time, and not just deaths, but innocent deaths. There were other less serious changes too. Her hair had grown. She had it pulled back with a leather thong at the base of her neck. Small dark curls had escaped and still framed her face, but her neck was exposed to the cool air. Her skin was slightly darker and somehow even more covered in freckles. 

“It’s good to see you.” Josephine was flooded with happiness at the sight of a smile on Beatrix’s face, but the moment between them was over just as soon as it had started as Beatrix moved on to greet and hug everyone else. Cassandra stormed past, and Josephine could already tell a council meeting was about to be called by the Seeker. She sighed and headed back up to the Chantry, gathering everyone important as she went. Might as well try to make a night out of whatever shitstorm was about to happen. Family dinner it was.


	27. Discussions to Be Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka Family Dinner Haven Edition!
> 
> Quick warning: the first half of the chapter is a little graphic in a horror kind of way and describes what dissociation and intrusive thoughts feel like from my experience. This is not meant to trigger anyone or cause anyone any upset. There is a denotation where to start if you want to skip it. The only thing that really happens in those paragraphs that are of note story-wise is Beatrix's dissociation episode. 
> 
> I need to impart endless thanks to all of you for reading every week. You all bring such joy to my life! Knowing that you are all out there and that you all care about some words that come from my brain brings such light into my life. Words cannot do it justice. Many blessings unto you all, and I wish you a happy, light-filled week!

Cassandra was pissed. Beatrix had felt the anger radiate off of the Seeker the entire trip back to Redcliffe, and once they arrived in Haven, it did not lessen at all. Cassandra stormed off towards the Chantry the minute her horse crossed the Haven gate. Beatrix tried staying positive, but a quick glance over her shoulder at the sea of mage refugees behind her killed that. Even with Cassandra’s anger, Beatrix was beyond glad to be home. 

Words could not describe the joy that filled her heart to see, not only Haven itself, but her friends, nay her family, alive and happy. She hugged each of them in turn before heading to her cabin to unpack and clean up. In the back of her mind, she knew that she should just head straight to the Chantry and deal with Cassandra’s anger and debrief the Council, but the want for a bath and a clean change of clothes won out. 

The silence inside her cabin was deafening. Being surrounded by people on the open road for so long had been good for her. Beatrix had been able to avoid the fear inside her. She had looked into the face of everything at stake and barely survived with her life. She sat in the dark, fighting back tears, until a servant came with hot water for a bath. They scolded Beatrix for not starting the fire herself, but Beatrix’s mind was too far away to actually hear the words. 

Beatrix sat in the bath, just staring at the fire. Her mind was not in the cabin. It was kilometers away in a different timeline with the people she lost and left behind. She was no longer in her own body, but watching herself fight off demons and venatori in red lyrium infested hallways. Everything about the memories was odd and somewhat dreamlike. It felt almost like watching a movie she had already seen. She kept trying to warn herself and her friends before they could get hurt, but they never heard her. She looked on in horror as the demons tore Cassandra and Sera apart in the doorway of the great hall before throwing their limbs into the chamber. Leliana was next. Beatrix tried to warn her, but it happened anyways. A burst of blood and the spymistress’s heart was outside her body, clutched in the hand of a terror. 

Beatrix screamed and the scene before her shifted, like a glitch in the matrix. She was still standing inside the great hall in Redcliffe Keep, but she was alone. Red lyrium crept up the walls in greater amounts than she remembered. The doors were bashed in and lying on the ground in splinters. Blood covered every surface: the floors, the walls, the throne, everything. Another scream bubbled up as her eyes focused on the final detail of the chamber.

Body parts hanging from the ceiling like some twisted art installation. Some of the pieces she could put a face and a name to, some she could not. There were arms and legs and entire torsos just dangling at eye level, held in place by some fine thread she could just barely make out. Beatrix carefully made her way through the macabre scene, headed in the direction of the throne. She didn’t know why, but she knew that what she needed to leave this place was there. She nearly retched as a hand brushed against her back after she passed it. She didn’t look back to see if it had reached out to touch her or had just turned at the right time. 

Cresting up the stairs, the scene only grew worse. Here there were intestines wrapped around the pillars like sick garlands. There were gouges in the railing of the staircase itself, like something had sharpened its claws on the marble. The ‘art’, as Beatrix had decided to think of it to save from completely losing it, was much heavier here as well. It was hard to walk any further without shifting anything out of the way. It was easier to tell who was what here as well. Things were more. . .intact. 

Beatrix grit her teeth and continued on. She touched everything around her as little as possible, not wanting to disrupt anything too much. She saw something sitting on the throne. She couldn’t make out exactly what it was as it was covered in a blood stained cloth. She drew nearer to it, and knew that whatever was under the cloth was why she was compelled to walk in this direction. Whatever was there on the throne was how she would leave this nightmare. She very gingerly pulled away the cloth.

The head’s eyes snapped open the moment it was free of the cloth. It was Max. Her ginger hair was matted with dried blood and pooled around her bodiless head. There was a small amount of blood splattered across her face that almost blended in with all her freckles and a slight, small bruise on her jaw. Beatrix’s heart dropped out of her chest and her mouth fell open in a silent scream. Max’s head looked at her, smiled, and, in a deep masculine voice Beatrix was unfamiliar with, said, “You better wake up. . .before you forget how.”

 

[[[[[IF YOU WANTED TO SKIP THE HORROR PART, THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN START READING!!!]]]]]]

 

Beatrix shot forward, splashing a large amount of water out of the tub. The water was freezing cold, and the fire had grown rather dim. Looking out her window, Beatrix could see the oranges and purples of sunset. Someone was pounding loudly on her door. Beatrix took a moment to catch her breath before calling out, “Just a minute!” 

She gingerly removed her pruny body from the water and pulled some clothes on. Every muscle in her body ached even though she hadn’t really used them in days. She took a few deep breaths and limped to the door. “Varric. . .how can I help you this evening?”

“I’m just happy to see you alive and well, kid. Josephine, on the other hand, had organized what she is calling a family dinner, and you are expected to be in attendance.” Varric did look happy to see her, but the smile on his face was masking something Beatrix could not quite place. 

“Of course, let me just grab my coat.” The two walked to the Chantry in relative silence. There was the occasional pleasantries exchanged with various townspeople that they passed, but other than that, it was just silence in the chilly late autumn air. 

Dorian was waiting outside the Chantry for them. Beatrix was almost surprised to see him without Sera, the two had become quite close during their journey back from Redcliffe. It was clear by Dorian’s body language though that he wasn’t sure if he was invited to this little tet a tet. “Ah, Beatrix, my darling, it feels like centuries since I basked in your luminous presence!”

“Dorian!” Beatrix caught Varric’s not so subtle eye roll, but ignored it. She knew the two could be great friends once they got to know each other. “Are you coming to dinner?”

“I wasn’t sure if I should or not. Cassandra is still. . .”

“Pissed as hell?”

“Yes. That.” Beatrix smiled slightly. “Regardless, that qunari fellow and I had a little bit of a spat, and I don’t want to do anything to increase tensions.”

“You and Iron Bull got into a fight?”

“Yes, well the Tevinter/Qunari war rages ever on.” Dorian treated the subject with flippancy, but Beatrix could tell there was something there that irritated him. 

“Well, it wouldn’t be family dinner without you there, Dorian.” She smiled at home, hoping to coax him into joining them as she and Varric passed by.

“Oh, alright!” 

Beatrix felt a moment of victory as the trio walked down the rest of the hallway to the council chambers, but it was fleeting. The moment they stepped inside the chamber, Beatrix could feel Cassandra’s eyes burning holes into her. 

“Beatrix! Finally! You’re here!” Josephine was shuffling around seeing to everyone’s needs like a good hostess. She gestured to the seat at the head of the table for her to sit at, right next to Cullen and an empty chair. She quickly made her way to her assigned seat only to realize that she was directly across from Cass. 

After a few moments, everyone finished getting seated and comfortable. Josephine took up the empty seat next to Beatrix and immediately called for a toast the minute every wine glass was filled. “To our returned friends both old and new, may our new alliance with the mages bring a swift end to the Breach!”

It was an easy wish to agree to, but Cassandra snorted into her wine glass and chugged it in one go. “Another.” She held her goblet aloft for the servant with the wine pitcher to fill, never breaking eye contact with Beatrix. 

“If you have something to say, Cassandra, say it.” Beatrix could hear the edge in her voice, but after the days of silence and the nightmare, she didn’t care. 

“Alright! You invited to mages into an alliance without consulting anyone else!”

“What was I supposed to do Cassandra? Fiona and the mages had nothing! Nothing! The King of all fucking Ferelden was there and he looked to me for an answer! So please tell me what I was supposed to do in that moment!?”

“There are so many options you could have chosen!”

“Really, Cassandra!? Because in that moment the only two I saw were to ally ourselves with the mages or just use them like slaves!”

“And?”

“Are you seriously asking me why I didn’t force a group of oppressed people into slavery?!”

“You just painted a target on our backs! This world is not a pretty one. People do not trust mages. They never have, and now we will become synonymous with them!”

“And that is a risk we must take then.”

“This is not your Inquisition! You are not in charge here! The only reason you are here at all is because of that mark on your hand. You are still a clueless little girl in over her head, and you always will be.” Cassandra pushed herself up and out of her chair, knocking the now full wine goblet over in the process. Everyone sat in stunned silence as Cassandra lumbered out of the room, clearly drunk.

Leliana was the first to speak. “I should probably go make sure she makes it to her rooms okay.” She very quickly excused herself and squeezed Josie’s shoulder comfortingly as she exited. 

“Well then, while I did enjoy this little appetizer, I am curious as to what we are having for the main course.” Dorian was clear in his attempt to cut the tension that permeated the room. Josephine burst into giggles at his musings, but Beatrix could see the small tear streak on her cheek.


	28. F is for Friends Who do Stuff Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unpopular fun fact: I actually don't like Spongebob that much, but it fit well for the title. So I used it.
> 
> Sorry this is a late chapter. This week was hectic, and not a lot of writing got done. (Well, that's not entirely true. I worked on my novel and scrapped everything I had written for this fic at the last minute cause I hated it.) Next week isn't going to be much better as it is my birthday so I am still going to be very busy, but the time has come for the ball to drop. Next chapter is going to be of those that doesn't deviate much, but I'm going to try to change it up a bit.
> 
> As always thank you all for your support and love!

The council had deemed it necessary to gather all the resources they had at their disposal before proceeding, so Beatrix had deemed it necessary to go on as many missions as she could in the interim. She had to do something to keep her mind occupied, instead of filling out reports and waiting for the recruits to file in so they could close the Breach. It was also nice to get away from Haven, and the nightmares that haunted her there. 

Beatrix headed out towards the stables to get her horse prepared for the journey, but was stopped by Cassandra at the gate.

“Beatrix, I need - can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Yes. Of course, what is it?”

“I’m. . .sorry. I was wrong to take my frustration out on you like that. In truth, you did well. You made a decision when it needed to be made, in front of the king of all Fereldan at that. And here we are. I wish I could say it was my doing. Maybe that was why I was so angry.”

“We wouldn’t be here at all if you had not stood up to the Chantry.” Beatrix’s heart ached for the clear turmoil inside her friend and mentor.

“You’re being kind”

“And you’re discounting your role in all this.”

“Let’s close the Breach. Then we can say how successful I am.” Beatrix laughed softly and continued to prepare for the journey ahead. 

There was something to peaceful about the open road. Not so peaceful was the frat boy behavior that Iron Bull, Sera, and Dorian developed while traveling together. Their missions turned into giant games of dare or dare. Beatrix tried her best to de-escalate the shenanigans, but Sera was always there to pull some ridiculous prank to get the ball rolling again. Some of the worst dares included: Bull doing a handstand on top of a building for as long as he could until he inevitably fell and broke two ribs in the two story drop, Sera having to climb the tallest tree in the Hinterlands and getting attacked by a mother eagle trying to protect her nest, Dorian getting his mustache singed off when he accidentally stumbled into a dragon nest while blindfolded, and Iron Bull trying to get close enough to touch a dragon and nearly getting torn in half. 

Overall, Sera was proving to be far smarter and more conniving than she let on. She often acted as a bridge between the two men, and always seemed to know right when to intervene and redirect their arguments. Neither ever seemed to notice her do it either. 

“How do you do it?”

“Wut?”

“Get them to stop arguing like that?” The two men were currently debating who could kill the most red templars without getting hit. 

Sera shrugged nonchalantly. “They only argue cus they secretly want to bone.”

“Bone?” 

“Yeah. That would solve about haf their problems righ’ there.”

“And by bone you mean. . .”

“Screw. Fuck. Bang. However you wanna put it. A lot of the world’s problems could be solved if people just had more sex if ya ask me.”

“. . .Good to know. . .”

“Anyways, the other haf their shite is them trying to one up the other.” Dorian laughed somewhat maniacally. A challenge had clearly been made. Beatrix sighed and prepared to follow them into whatever fight they were about to get into, not wanting to end her conversation so soon.

A week later, they finally continued when Sera yelled out to Blackwall while riding around, “Hey, Blackwall, don’t you agree that Pirate Pants and Buckles just need to bone?”

Beatrix was glad that Iron Bull and Dorian were no longer with them to hear the unfortunate nicknames. They had just changed the party that morning so the two men could see to personal jobs. Beatrix looked over to Solas, thoroughly embarrassed for the proper elf to be exposed to this crudeness. 

“Yeah. I reckon that would certainly help with their constant spats.” Blackwall responded so casually, as if he was just talking about where they should make camp for the night instead of two of their allies’ sex lives. 

“I do not think this is an appropriate line of conversation for us to be having.”

“Oh stuff it, Mr. Boring!”

“C’mon, Sera, just because Solas is nothing more than friends with his little Fade spirits, it doesn’t make him boring.”

“I’m sorry. Did I miss something?” Beatrix looked at each of her allies in turn, very confused. 

“Warden Blackwall is referencing the bet that he and Sera made while you were away recruiting the mages.” Solas leaned over on his horse to discreetly fill her in, but Sera still overheard.

“I said that Mr. Boring was totally boning some of those ‘friends’ of his,” Sera very clearly put air quotes around friend, “and Blackwall disagreed. So we each bet the other an entire cask of ale.” A very smug smile grew on Blackwall’s face, and Solas just sighed in exasperation. Beatrix had to admit that she was a little nervous to know what other bets Sera and Blackwall had made about their allies. She was glad that the Warden had begun to open a bit more though. He needed someone to break through his walls a bit.

Beatrix didn’t see Iron Bull or Dorian for some time, until the former showed up to a party change unannounced. “I thought Cullen was sending Cassandra this time.”

Iron Bull shrugged, “The Seeker does alright being cooped up in Haven. I, on the other hand, do not.” Beatrix had no choice but to accept the adjustment, not that she was upset about it at all. She was interested to learn more about Bull away from Sera’s influence. 

Vivienne kept the four of them on a very tight schedule, clearly wanting to get as much done as possible in as little amount of time as possible. This left very little time for socialization, not that Vivienne seemed to mind. Varric always found something to tease her about, and while she tolerated it, it was clear she was less than enthused. Iron Bull and Varric joked around a little bit, but for the most part Bull kept to himself. 

“Can we talk?” 

Beatrix jumped at the voice behind her. She had been staring into the fire, lost in thought, while on watch. “Yes. Of course, Bull, what’s up?”

“We need to talk about the Inquisition.”

A part of her grew suspicious. She has always known that at some point his Ben Hassrath connections would cause a strain with the Inquisition, but she had hoped it wouldn’t be until well after they closed the Breach. “Yes?”

“Cullen is mistaken.”

“What do you mean?”

“The biggest problem isn’t the front line. It’s at the top. Cullen is worried about out recruits getting to Haven quickly, but I’m worried about what comes next. As the Seeker so crudely pointed out, you’ve got no leader. No Inquisitor.”

“I mean, we’ve done alright so far. The Council has worked together well to decide what comes next.”

“Yes, and that lead to what? A very ugly, very public fight between two of its members. All we’ve needed so far is damage control. Reaction. A group can handle that. But like the mage issues showed, big decisions need to be made by a leader.” He paused for a moment. “Once you’ve sealed the Breach, it’s gonna be time to make decisions. Someone’s going to have to step up.” He shifted to a more comfortable sitting position on the ground. “Ah, who knows, maybe you seal the Breach, the Chantry gets off its ass, and all those soldiers go home and get fat.”

“You think?”

“It could happen. It won’t, but it could.” He stared off into the darkness beyond the fire, clearly done with the conversation, so Beatrix got up and made her way into her tent to sleep for the night. 

The next day Varric approached her while they were resting to avoid the midday sun. “Something about your little trip to the future is concerning me.”

“What?”

“The red lyrium. I mean it infecting people and growing out of them is a new level of bad. It really punches a hole in my ‘red lyrium at the temple was a coincidence’ theory. This ‘Elder One’ managed to take the worst thing I can think of and make it worse. That’s an accomplishment.” There was concern knitted in his brow.

“Don’t worry, Varric. The Inquisition has the resources to track down all the red lyrium and destroy it. It will all be fine.”

“I hope so. I don’t want to think about what would happen if it starts a plague.” He got lost in thought imagining this hypothetical future for a minute before shuddering out of it. “Anyways, I’ve got people trying to figure out where the red lyrium came from. I think maybe we should make that a priority.”

“I agree. After the Breach is closed, mention it to the council, so they can come to a decision.” Varric nodded and went back to polishing Bianca, leaving Beatrix alone with her thoughts. 

She hadn’t found any more answers as to whether or not closing the Breach would let return home. It was widely assumed by those that knew the truth of her origins, that the most likely outcome of dealing with the Breach was her return back to her own world. A very small part of Beatrix hoped that it wasn’t true. She had already been here a year, and she had finally found her place in the world. Sure she missed working on robots and engineering projects, but she had a purpose here unlike anything she had back home. Not to mention, her newly realized feelings for Josephine. Her heart was so torn. 

She had been ignoring the feelings since the fever had brought them to light in that dream, but since the incident in the future, it was all she could really think about. She really wasn’t sure what she wanted to happen, but she did know she wanted the Breach to close.


	29. Happy Anniversary Beatrix!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's seal the Breach they said. It'll be fun they said.
> 
> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all the love and support. This chapter was an actual behemoth to work on, but I'm pretty proud of how it came out. Also, by no means feel obligated to, but I started a ko-fi to use as a tip jar. So if you really like a chapter, and you want to let me know just send me a quick tip. http://ko-fi.com/madsoftheshire
> 
> As always, thank you for the continued support. I appreciate each and every single one of you.

Before she knew it, Beatrix was back in Haven. The troops had been gathered and there was one final Council meeting before this was all over. Haven was far more serious a place than what she had left it. There were whole squadrons of soldiers outside its gates, and everywhere she looked someone was running somewhere on a mission. Nevertheless, she practically skipped to the Chantry, she was ready to go home. Ready to see her family again. 

It was weird to think of both the allies she had made her and the people she left behind as her family. The two groups could not be more different, and her feelings towards them equally so. They were still both her family. Those she had left behind were her family by blood and by choice. The people here were her family by fire and by bond. 

Passing through the doors of the Chantry, she suddenly had the realization that it had been exactly a year since she had left her world and entered this strange one. She caught her reflection in the polished metal of a shield and was taken aback. She barely looked like the girl who went for a jog so long ago. She was still far from small, but where there had once been all softness and fat, there was now hardened muscle. She was solid in a way she had never been. Her curly hair that had almost reached her hips now brushed her jaw. 

There was no denying that she was changed internally as well. The look of respect in the eyes of all she passed was far from the mistrust and fear that had greeted her upon first arriving. Her attitude had changed as well. She treated herself and others with more respect. People stood to attention as she passed by. It was a weird sensation, and she couldn’t help but hyper fixate on it. 

It felt like it took forever to reach the council chambers after she entered the Chantry. She breathed a sigh of relief as the door latched softly behind her. The four council members stood before her worry etched in each of their faces. Cullen was by far the worst. “Are you ready, Beatrix?” She only nodded in response. “Once we close this, we have no guarantee what will happen to you.”

“I know. I’m ready, Commander. For whatever comes next, I am ready.” A small smile tugged at his lips, and he nodded.

The five of them strode out of the council chambers and, leaving Leliana and Josephine at the Haven gate, headed to close the Breach. Before they departed with the entire force, Beatrix hung back. Leliana seeing her approach, backed away and tried very hard to look busy.

“Josie, theres-”  
“Beatrix, I-”

“Oh, sorry, you go first.”  
“My apologies. Please go ahead.”

There was a moment of laughter before Josephine nodded for Beatrix to speak. “I wanted to let you know, in case I don’t come back, that I truly do care for you. I may have gone so far as to have developed feelings for you myself, and if this is goodbye, well I just needed you to know.” She kept her eyes locked to the snow covered ground beneath her, not wanting to make eye contact with the beautiful woman in front of her.

“Beatrix,” Josephine very gently put her hands on either side of the Herald’s face and prompted her to meet her gaze, “I know. You told me when you were delirious from the sickness. I wanted to talk to you about it, but there was never a good time. Not to mention, that you clearly didn’t remember it happening in the first place.” She placed the briefest of kisses on Beatrix’s forehead. “Be safe, and look out for yourself. Okay?”

Beatrix nodded and began to lead the march up the hill. All her allies were with her, the entire force of the Inquisition was behind her. She was confident that everything would turn out fine. . .

And it did. The Breach was sealed without a hitch. Everything was calm, eerily calm. The sky was back to its normal sunset hues. Any trace of grey clouds or green lightning was gone. The hole in the sky was no more, and yet, Beatrix was still there.

She looked to Solas for answers, but he simply shrugged. The men and women of the Inquisition cheered in celebration. The worst was over for them. Beatrix felt like she was going through a tunnel. All the noise around her quieted, and she suddenly felt very alone. She could see Cassandra push through the crowd and felt her mentor’s arms wrap around her in a hug, but her brain wouldn’t make sense of the words she said. 

Beatrix felt something break deep inside of her, and she couldn’t quite place what it was. She walked like a zombie back to Haven, not really aware of the goings on around her. She could tell there was a party, but all she could do was sip a beer and stare into the fire. She stood alone overlooking the city until finally Cassandra joined her.

“Solas confirms that the heavens are scarred but calm. The Breach is sealed.” Clearly sensing Beatrix’s sullen mood, Cassandra continued. “We’ve reports of lingering rifts, and many questions still remain, but this was a victory. Word of your heroism has spread.”

“It’s too soon to celebrate.” Beatrix knew a part of her was just hurt, but she also felt something was off. “It was all too easy.”

“Perhaps.” At that moment a bell sounded in the distance. “That is the warning bell!”

“We’re being attacked!” Both women raced down the hill to the gate as fast as their legs could carry them. Cullen was already there barking out orders to a scrambling fleet. Across the lake the mountain was filled with flickering lantern as the unknown enemy grew ever closer to the city. It wasn’t long before the pair were joined at the gate by the rest of the companions. 

“What’s the plan, boss?” Iron Bull loomed behind Beatrix, but it was Cullen who answered.

“One watchguard reporting a massive force. The bulk of it is over the mountain.”

Josephine was the next to join them and breathlessly asked, “Whose banner are they under?”

“None.”

“None?”

Josephine and Cullen continued to argue, but Beatrix was distracted by a pounding on the shut gate and a light emanating from the other side. She could have sworn she heard a voice begging her to open the door, but no on else seemed to respond. “Open the gate!”

“Beg your pardon, miss-”

“Open the damn gate!” The two guards rushed to pry open the heavy wood and metal gate before she yelled any further. The minute she saw the other side, she swore under her breath. A templar knight stood there and started to advance towards her. It had been a trap! 

All of the sudden the knight stopped short, and started to make a gurgling sound before falling over, dead. There was a gangly man with greasy blonde hair behind him holding two daggers. “Who are you?” Beatrix slowed down as she approached, Cullen following her to watch her back.

“I’m Cole. I can to help. To warn you. People are coming to hurt you. You probably already know -” The man was rambling, saying nothing cohesive.

“What is this? What’s going on?”

“The Templars come to kill you.” The look on the man’s face was grave.

“Templars?” Cullen was clearly offended. “Is this the Order’s response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?”

“The red templars went to the Elder One. You know him? He knows you. You took his mages. There” He pointed up the mountain to a small outcropping where a lone figure stood. 

“I know that man. . .” Cullen sounded somewhat shocked. “But this Elder One.” As he mentioned him a man covered in red lyrium appeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Speak of the devil.” No one else found Beatrix’s commentary funny. 

“He’s very angry that you took his mages.”

Beatrix’s mind started whirling. “Cullen! I need a plan! Now!”

“Haven is no fortress. If we are to withstand this monster, we must control the battle.” He began pointing out the trebuchets. “Get out there and hit that force. Use everything you can!” Beatrix nodded and began heading off in the direction of the nearest trebuchet, leaving Cullen to give out the rest of the orders. 

The first few waves of the battle were arduous. It was a struggle to get all three trebuchets working even with the full weight of all Beatrix’s allies by her side. They almost fell a few times, but they pulled together as a team and got it done. With the last firing of the trebuchet, the snow and ice covering the mountain came raining down upon the army, completely engulfing them. A cheer was let out as the tide of battle changed for the better. 

Then, before Beatrix could blink, a dragon dropped out of the sky and launched a fireball at the trebuchet, blowing it to smithereens. “Everyone to the gates!” They all raced back to the gate one right after the other, barely stopping to help the blacksmith. Upon flying through the gate, they kept retreating further and further on Cullen’s order to regroup at the Chantry. The entire village was overrun with red templars and horrors and demons. They saved whoever they could, but the force was just too great. 

Brother Roderick helped a couple of soldiers push open the heavy doors as soon as the group approached before crumpling into the arms of Cole who was right behind him like a shadow. “He tried to stop a templar. The blade went deep. He is going to die.” Cole stated everything to matter of fact. It was a little off putting and reminded Beatrix of Solas. 

Before Beatrix could respond, Cullen found her. “Beatrix! Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us.”

Cole spoke up from Brother Roderick’s side. “I’ve seen an archdemon. It was in the Fade, but it looked like that.”

“I don’t care what it looks like. It has cut a path for that army. They’ll kill everyone in Haven!”

“The Elder One doesn’t care about the village. He only wants the Herald.”

“Then we give him what he wants.”

Cullen grabbed Beatrix’s arm and yanked her back to his side as she began to walk away. “Absolutely not. Out of the question.” He pulled her arm to turn her towards him, and looked at her the way she would look at her sister when they were younger. “There are no tactics to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was that avalanche. We could turn the remaining trebuchets, cause one last slide.”

“To hit the enemy we would have to bury Haven itself!”

“We’re dying, but we can decide how. Many don’t get that choice.” Beatrix and Cullen shared a look of understanding. 

“There is another way.” Chancellor Roderick spoke up, his voice raspy with pain. “There is a path. You wouldn’t know it unless you made the summer pilgrimage, as I have. The people can escape. She must have shown. . .Andraste must have shown me so I could. . .tell you.”

“A path?” Roderick nodded in response. “What about it Cullen? Will it work?”

“Possibly. If he shows us the path. But what of your escape?” Beatrix was quiet. They both knew there was no escape for her. Not this time. “Perhaps you will surprise it, find a way. . . Just keep the Elder One distracted until we are above the treeline.” Beatrix gave him a small smile and they parted ways. Cullen to organize the escape, and Beatrix to organize the distraction.

“Dorian! Sera! Bull! With me!”

“What are you talking about, Beatrix? I should go with you!” Cassandra tried blocking her from gathering her shield.

“No, Cass. If something should happen to me -” She had to raise her voice to cover Cassandra’s protests. “If something should happen to me, I need to to take care of everyone. You are the only person who is capable to lead this inquisition.” Beatrix hugged her quickly before moving on. Sera was still gathering her arrows, so she had enough time. Beatrix flew down the hall. There at the top of the stairs was Josie. 

“Josephine!”

“Oh, Beatrix, thank the Maker you’re here! We need to get a -”

“I’m not going, Josie.”

“What?”

“I have to end this. I’m sorry.” She pulled Josie aside, away from the crowd. She placed a hand ever so gently on her cheek and kissed her, softly and only for a few seconds. “I wish we had more time. I’m sorry.” 

“Me too.” Josie wiped a tear from her eye and rejoined the effort to evacuate the village. 

Beatrix gave one last look at the gorgeous woman and walked to the front of the building. Her chosen companions were ready. She gave a smile and nod to all those she was leaving behind and walked to the door. “Let’s go kick so arch demon ass!”


	30. And BOOM Goes the Trebuchet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update last week. I was having technical difficulties, but they are fixed now! Which means that it is now back to out regularly scheduled programming. Next chapter is probably going to be shorter and very angsty.
> 
> As always, hope you guys have a great week! Thanks for reading!

“They’ll load the trebuchets. Keep the Elder One’s attention until we’re above the tree line.” Cullen had joined Beatrix as she marched out of the Chantry, a small squadron of soldiers following behind them. Before she could exit the building, the commander pulled her aside, allowing everyone else to pass by. “If we are to have a chance - if you are to have a chance - let that thing hear you.”

“Thank you, Cullen.” Beatrix paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. “It has been an honor to serve at your side, my friend.” Before any more could be said or tears could be shed, Beatrix was outside. 

Leliana was standing just outside the door, waiting for her. The spymistress strode over to her and placed her hands on Beatrix’s shoulders. “Andraste be with you and guide you!”

“Thank you, Leliana. I wish the same upon you.” Leliana nodded and headed inside, strangely formal as compared to the other two council members. Beatrix shook her head to clear it of any thoughts other than the task at hand. She looked to her friends and the soldiers in front of her, looking to her for direction. She raised her voice above the din of destruction to be heard. “We have one shot at this. The people of Haven and the Inquisition are depending on us.” She looked to her friends who were already warming up, readying for the fight ahead. “We need to clear a path for these soldiers to the trebuchet. Once there, we need to keep whatever comes our way off them for as long as necessary. Meanwhile, they will ready the trebuchet so we can bury the village and, hopefully, take this Elder One and his archdemon down with it.” Beatrix scanned an eye over everyone assembled and readied herself. “Move out!” 

The group slowly made their way through the deserted village, but it wasn’t long until they were besieged by a group of Horrors and Templars. They all very quickly fell into battle formations with Iron Bull at the front, Beatrix slightly behind him, and Dorian and Sera at the back finding sniper nests of their own. The wave of assailants was rather small, so it did not take long to dispatch them. 

They continued on, running into Horrors and Templars at nearly every turn. It hurt Beatrix to her core to she her home in flames and infested with monsters. In that moment, it felt like everything she had worked towards for the last year was spiraling down the drain. Until she remembered the lives she was fighting for in the Chantry. It helped to ease the pain of seeing every little nook and cranny of the village she had come to love and had made so many memories in destroyed in a single night. 

As they neared the trebuchet, they could hear the archdemon roaring in the distance as it made circles around the city. Everywhere they looked, the streets were littered with the bodies of those they had not saved. Beatrix was beginning to let it all wash over her when Bull pulled her out of her sorrow. 

“So, I have to ask. Why us?”

“It wasn’t an easy choice, but you three are the least connected of everyone in the Inner Circle.” Dorian started to grumble under his breath at her comments. “Not that if anything goes wrong, you all won’t be terribly missed, but I had to use process of elimination. Solas knows the most about the Fade, so if I don’t come back he can figure out a solution to close the rest of the Rifts. Vivienne has the most political connections, and we - the Inquisition will need her is we - they are going to need her if we - they want to save the Empress. Which only leaves you, Dorian, to fill our need of a mage. Cassandra is a natural leader, so she needs to lead the Inquisition, obviously. Blackwall is the last Warden in the area that we - anyone knows of, so he needs to help us - the Inquisition find the rest. Which only leaves, Bull to fill the position of badass in close combat. In regards to Varric, Hawke would personally rip my heart out of my chest if I let him die from what I hear, and I’d rather keep that inside my chest for now. Which, of course, only leaves Sera to act as our archer.”

“So, it wasn’t that we aren’t important, just less important than everyone else. Is that right?”

“Dorian, please! You are just as important, but I had to make a hard choice in a single second. I weighed all the pros and cons as best I could.” Dorian just sighed, and they continued the trek to the trebuchet in relative peace. 

Upon arrival, however, the trebuchet was swarmed with Horrors and Templars. It was hard, grueling work fighting them all back, so they could actually reach the trebuchet. As soon as the area was secure, the soldier got to work getting the trebuchet into position. It wasn’t long until reinforcements came, however. The four of them held back the waves of Horrors and Templars. Every crank of the pulley system just seemed to draw more attention in their general direction. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?” Sera’s bewildered cry rang out over the fighting, and Beatrix jerked her head up just in time to see a large, red lyrium infested Horror standing directly behind her with its large club arm raised over her head. She ducked and rolled out of the way as best she could, but the arm just dragged across the ground towards her. It scooped her up off the ground and sent her flying through the air and into a tree. 

She heard Bull’s war cry even with the ringing in her ears. She saw stars everywhere she looked, and the back of her head was warm and slightly wet feeling. She didn’t, no couldn’t think about the pain or the blood. She had to protect the village, so she very ungracefully stood up and reentered the battle, sword raised and screaming. 

Beatrix fought until she started seeing double, and even still after that, she persisted. She refused to sheath her sword or take a breath until the last templar was slain. Finally, there was a pause in the action. “Boss, you don’t look so good. Maybe you should sit down for a minute.” Bull practically forced her into a sitting position on the ground, ignoring her assurances that she was fine. Sera brought over some spiced wine she had put in her water pouch, and made her drink some of it while Dorian patched up her head a little bit. 

“You should really be more careful in the future.” Dorian finished healing her to the best of his ability just as the soldiers finished readying the trebuchet. 

Beatrix struggled to her feet and sighed happily, “Good, now we just need to -” She was cut off by a loud shrieking roar as the archdemon soared through the sky, barreling towards them. “MOVE!” The soldiers and her friends all quickly ran across the open field to get to cover. Beatrix made it only a couple of steps before stumbling and falling to her knees. The dragon fire burned, even as far away as it was. She gestured for those hiding in the bushes to run. Silently hoping she could give them enough time to join the others. 

Beatrix scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could, wanting to join her friends in fleeing, but was stopped dead in her tracks by a figure emerging from the fire near the trebuchet. In her bones, she knew it was the Elder One. The archdemon came thundering up behind her, and suddenly, Beatrix was in a very bad position. The archdemon let out a terrifying screech that shook Beatric to her core.

“Enough!” She recognized the voice of the Elder One, but she didn’t know how. He quelled the fire in front of him with a blast of magic, so he could continue to close the gap between them. “Pretender, you toy with forces beyond your ken no more.”

“No more! Why are you doing this? What purpose could all this serve?” Beatrix had not known how she would react to finally coming face to face with the Elder One. Apparently, her gut reaction was to be incised at his actions and very angry. 

“Because you are my enemy. Because you stand in the way of destined power. Because I can.” He paused for Beatrix could only assume was dramatic effect. “Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One! The will that is Corypheus!” He reached out one of his weird misshapen claw hands and pointed at her. “You will kneel.”

“Read my lips: Fuck. . .you. . .” A pain was starting to arise in her ribs from where she had taken a blow earlier in the fighting. She ignored it and stood as tall as she could. 

“You will resist. You will always resist. It matters not.” He held up a strange orb in his other hand. Beatrix immediately recognized it as the same orb she found in the forest all that time ago. “I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.” As he spoke, the orb lit with an inner green light that was contrasted by the red of his magic that flowed around it. He reached out with his opposite hand and released a small amount of energy towards her. Beatrix’s hand with the mark began to glow like it did when she was trying to close a Rift. It stung, but didn’t fully hurt. “It is your fault, ‘Herald’. You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose.” He launched more magic at her, and the mark started to burn. “I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as ‘touched’, what you flail at Rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.” 

He again launched magic at her, and this time, the pain became so excruciating Beatrix could do nothing but double over and scream. Her eyes were watering, and she could think of nothing else but the pain. And yet, in the back of her mind, her anger persisted. She knew no matter what, she would not give in to this tyrant. 

“And you used the Anchor to undo my work! The gall!”

“So what is this thing meant to do anyways?” She barely managed to get the words out past the storm of pain she was experiencing. 

“It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I would always come for it.” He strode across the field and picked Beatrix up by the arm, holding her glowing mark high in the air. She hadn’t realized just how tall he was until her feet were dangling two feet above the ground. “I once breached the Fade in the name another, to serve the Old Gods of the Empire in person. I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No more. I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty!” 

Beatrix felt bold with him this close and this deep in a monologue, so she gathered up all the saliva she could muster and hawked at him with all her might. He recoiled in disgust and threw her at the trebuchet. She felt her head connect with the wood and heard a sick snap; she knew instantly that all of Dorian’s hard work had just been undone. She tried righting herself as best she could before this Corypheus could kill her without a fight.

“The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.” Beatrix scrambled for her sword that by sheer luck only lay a few feet away from her and pulled herself to her feet as Corypheus approached her once more. “So be it. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation - and God - it requires.” 

Beatrix looked over Corypheus and the archdemon to the tree line far above Haven in the mountains. A lone bolt of fire streaked across the sky in an arch, and Beatrix thanked every deity she could think of that everyone had made it safely. She kept her face like stone as Corypheus neared closer to her. 

“And you. I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You must die.” 

Beatrix looked over at the mechanism to release the trebuchet and bury the village along with the archdemon, Corypheus, and herself. It was so close. She very slowly started inching towards it while answering this self-proclaimed god. “Well then, come and get me, fuckface!” With what she was sure were her final words, she kicked the mechanism with all her might, releasing it and setting the trebuchet into action. Corypheus and the archdemon were just distracted enough for Beatrix to try to make a break for it. She didn’t know where she was running to or why, but she didn’t want to die at Corypheus’s claws, she knew that much. Before she could even get to the lake, the avalanche was on her heels and pushed her into a hole in the ground she hadn’t seen, submerging her into darkness.


	31. Beatrix Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was a less than stellar day, and I almost forgot it was Thursday. Regardless, this is a shorter chapter than normal. I wanted to have a space for Beatrix to just be alone and process the fallout of everything that happened the last two chapters before jumping into the whole "INQUISITOR!" stuff. 
> 
> As always, have a stellar week you guys!

Beatrix woke up cold and alone surrounded by rubble and darkness. She had no idea where she was, but it certainly wasn’t home. Every muscle in her body ached in a way they hadn’t since she had first started training a year ago. She slowly got to her feet and looked around. It looked like a caved in tunnel or a mine. She wasn’t entirely sure, but she knew it wasn’t anywhere on Earth. Her hand was glowing to strongly for that to be the case.

She hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath until that moment. She released all the air she had trapped in her lungs and a small sob came out with it. The tears that had begun to trail down her cheeks froze to her skin as quickly as they fell. She brushed away the ice trails as best she could and looked for a way out. The tunnel ahead of her was the only way out of the chamber it seemed, so she began the trek forward. 

She trudged along in silence for what felt like hours, just watching her breath form little clouds in front of her. Thoughts whirled around in her mind like a tornado of emotions no matter how hard she tried to ignore them. Finally, she saw light pouring into the tunnel ahead of her. Her feet quickened their pace, and her mind finally quieted some. Just as she was about to reach it, demons pulled themselves out of the ground between her and the way out. Beatrix could feel in her bones, she couldn’t fight them. She was still spent from her encounter with Corypheus. 

Almost out of instinct, she raised her hand in front of her. She had no plan, only the sheer will to stop them from causing her anymore pain. Green light exploded out of the mark on her hand. The light coalesced in the center of all the demons, looking almost like a rift, and began to almost pull them apart molecule by molecule. Beatrix could do nothing but stand and watch in morbid fascination as the demons all disintegrated into the ball of green light hanging in the air. 

Silence hung over the tunnel once more, as Beatrix slowly made her way past the floating green light and to the opening of the tunnel. She could hear the wind howling louder and louder the closer she got to the opening, and, upon reaching it, faced air so cold it knocked the wind out of her. She took a moment to steel her nerves and wrap herself up as best she could in her armor before leaving the safety of the cave. 

White spread out in every direction as far as she could see. After only a few moments, the tunnel entrance behind her was swallowed up by the blizzard raging around her. Beatrix shuffled through the knee deep snow, hugging her arms to keep as much warmth in as possible. Step. Step. Step. Step. The lone word was on a constantly loop in her mind. It was easier to block out all of her thoughts when she focused so hard on the task at hand. 

Before long, she came across a wagon turned on its side and buried in the snow. She recognized the make as that of the wood carver in Haven. The townspeople couldn’t be too far away. The wagon wasn’t buried enough for that to be the case. Beatrix returned to her efforts with renewed vigor, now chasing those she had saved. 

Just as she was beginning to run out of steam and hopelessness was creeping back in, she stumbled upon a fire pit. It was stone cold, but it gave her hope that she wasn’t too far behind the others. The wolves that had been following her for some time howled again, even closer. She pushed herself to her feet and pressed onwards.

After several hours trudging through the ever piling snow, Beatrix was growing exhausted. Her head throbbed from what was probably a concussion. Her muscles were screaming in pain. She felt nauseous and dizzy, and she just wanted to lie down for a moment. Beatrix knew that would be a death sentence, so she forced herself to keep walking. 

She wasn’t sure when the blizzard stopped. Her eyelids were so heavy, and she could barely remain upright. She was only aware of putting one foot in front of the other. She was so focused on that task, she nearly tripped over the campfire. It was still the slightest bit warm. Beatrix was too exhausted to smile, but she could feel the tears of sheer happiness begin to trickle down her face. 

She had started to use her sword as a makeshift cane and ice pick to help her get through the now waist high snow. Every step was torture on her body and mind, but getting back to the Inquisition was all she could think about. Blinking past the frozen tears, Beatrix thought she saw lantern light ahead of her. 

“Help,” her voice cracked and was barely even a whisper. She cleared her throat and tried again. The second time only marginally louder than the first. She picked up her pace as much as she could and continued to cry out for help until finally she collapsed into the snow.

Beatrix was convinced she was going to die like that, just minutes away from salvation. She started to sob soundlessly. Her tears being swallowed by the whiteness surrounding her. Just before her eyelids grew too heavy to keep open, Beatrix saw light bouncing off of the rock wall next to her and figures rounding the corner. The last thing she heard before sheer exhaustion enveloped her was Cullen’s voice crying out, “It’s her!” Just before she lost consciousness, she felt large, strong arms around her, lifting her up and carrying her like a baby towards the light.


	32. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. . .long time no write. . . Sorry about that! Life got hectic, so I took a break from being creative. In the meantime, I passed all my classes and got some semblance of my life together. This chapter is, unfortunately, shorter. I wanted to write this beautiful epic return to this story after my hiatus, but, alas, this was what I managed. I'm still working on crafting a manageable schedule, so updates might still be spotty. But there will BE updates! 
> 
> As always, much love to all of you, and I hope your month was amazing! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I look forward to sharing the next with you!

The next few days were a blur. Beatrix remembered only flashes of firelight, a hand holding hers, a quiet French accented voice praying fervently, flashes of green and blue and purple light running over her, gentle fingers running through her hair, and the heaviness of many blankets resting over her body. 

There were dreams too: the tear in the sky ripping open once again, a low menacing chuckle as screams erupted around her, Haven a pile of ash and rubble, her friends just charred skeletons. The scenes all cut from one to the next in a nauseating fashion. 

When she finally came to, she was alone in a darkened tent. The entrance flap was rolled open slightly, allowing a small amount of light from the roaring fire outside to filter in. Beatrix pushed herself up into a sitting position and tried to gain a better idea of her surroundings. She was lying on a wooden cot, covered by three heavy woolen blankets, but she was not as alone as she thought. Next to her, on a stool sat Mother Giselle, praying. 

The minute the Reverend Mother noticed Beatrix sit up, she quickly handed her a cup of water. “Good to have you back, Herald.”

“Good to be back!” Beatrix could barely stop chugging the water long enough to get the words out. 

As soon as the cup was empty, Mother Giselle took the cup and refilled it. “Pace yourself this time,” she said with a slight chuckle, looking very pointedly at the water stains on Beatrix’s shirt. 

Beatrix smiled sheepishly and consciously forced herself to drink in small sips. “So, where are we?”

“Somewhere in the mountains. No one knows exactly where. We haven’t moved camp since you were discovered. That was the only thing the Council could agree upon.”

“Wh - are - have they been fighting?” 

Before Mother Giselle could answer, shouting was heard from outside the tent. Cullen and Cassandra’s voices were the most distinct. 

“We cannot simply ignore this! We must find a way!”

“And who put you in charge? We need a consensus or we have nothing!”

Beatrix shifted herself more forward to see outside the tent better. Cullen and Cassandra were nearly at each other’s throats with Josephine between them trying to keep some semblance of peace. 

“Please we must use reason. Without the infrastructure of the Inquisition we’re -” Josephine was cut off before she could finish her thought. 

“It can’t come from nowhere!” Cullen’s voice was far too harsh, and Beatrix knew he would regret his tone later. 

“She didn’t say it could.” Leliana glared at Cullen as she came to Josephine’s defense.

“Enough!” Cassandra inched forward so she was practically in Cullen’s face. “This is getting us nowhere.”

“Well, at least we’re agreed on that much.” With that, Cullen stormed away, and Cassandra quickly followed suit in the opposite direction, leaving Josephine and Leliana by the fire alone. 

“You need rest.” Mother Giselle placed her hand on Beatrix’s shoulder and gave her a knowing look. 

“How long have they been at it?”

“Hours. Days. Since you were found, really, but they have that luxury thanks to you. The enemy could not follow, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame. Infighting may threaten as much as this Corypheus.”

“If they are arguing about what we do next, I should be there.” Beatrix attempted to stand but found she could not rise against the Mother’s hand. 

“Another heated voice won’t help, even yours. Perhaps, especially yours. Our leaders struggle because of what we survivors witnessed. We saw our defender stand and fall, and now we have seen her return. The more the enemy is beyond us the more miraculous your actions appear, and the more our trials seem ordained. That is hard to accept. No? What we have been called to endure? What we, perhaps, must come to believe?”

“But it wasn’t any miracle!” Beatrix swung her legs over the side of the cot to face the Reverend Mother. “I survived because I got lucky and I fell in just the right place at just the right time. I could have just as easily died in that avalanche.”

“And you don’t call that a miracle?”

“I don’t know! But I just don’t see how what I believe matters! Corypheus is a real, physical threat! You can’t match that with hope alone.” Beatrix brushed Mother Giselle’s hand aside and walked to just outside the door of the tent, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders as she did so. The scene that lay before her was bleak. All her closest friends, her family, were each standing apart from each other is silence. Every face was etched with misery and pain. 

Out of all this came a quiet, pure voice. Leliana, sitting huddled next to Josephine, began singing a pretty lullaby quietly, but grew in volume as it went on. By the second verse of it, Mother Giselle had come out of the tent to join her, and as it went on more and more people joined. Beatrix found herself in the middle of it all, feeling overwhelmed and more than a little awkward. When everything had quieted again and people were hugging and cheering, Mother Giselle came up behind her and whispered to her, “An army needs more than an enemy. It needs a cause.” 

Beatrix suddenly found herself feeling very alone in a crowd of people, a feeling not altogether unfamiliar to her. She plastered a fake smile on her face to keep away any concern, and wove through the crowd, closer to the fire. She only stood there for a moment before she was approached.

Solas stepped next to her and demanded, “A word,” before striding away to the outskirts of camp. Beatrix followed after him cautiously. There was something unsettling and rather judgemental in his tone. He lit a torch wordlessly with just a wave of his hand as soon as they exited the tent line. 

“A wise woman worth heading. Her kind understand the moments that unify a cause. . .or fracture it. The orb Corypheus carried, the power he wielded against you, it is elvhen. Corypheus used the orb to open the Breach. Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave, and brought you here. I do not yet know how Corypheus survived. Nor am I certain how people will react when they learn of the orb’s origin.” Solas finally fell quiet, and Beatrix tried reading past his words, to whatever hidden meaning lay there, but he refused to meet her gaze.

“What is it? And how do you know about it?” Beatrix subconsciously stressed ‘you’ while questioning him and saw him flinch slightly at the implication. 

“They were used to channel ancient magics. I have seen such things in the Fade, old memories of even older magic. Corypheus may think it Tvinter. His Empire’s magic was built on the bones of my people. Knowing or not, he risks our alliance. I cannot allow it!” Solas’s face was scrunched up in fury, and he suddenly looked far older than Beatrix thought him to be. 

“For now then, let us keep this between us. We will have to come up with some sort of way to deal with this, but for now we should let sleeping dogs lie. We can do nothing about it in our current circumstances anyways.”

“Very pragmatic, Beatrix. I’m almost surprised.”

“I can be smart when I want to be!” Beatrix feigned mock offense, and Solas finally looked her in the eyes. 

“And here I thought you could only be abrasive and hit things with relative accuracy!” Solas almost cracked a grin as he said it, but quickly regained his composure. He turned his body, so he was fully facing Beatrix. “We should scout to the north, and you need to be their guide. There is a place that waits for a force to hold it. There is a place where the Inquisition can build, grow! And that is where we must go!” 

“Well then, we better get a move on!”


	33. Yer the Inquisitor, Trixie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is currently looking like posts will be every other week until life gets some semblance of normalcy or calm. Sorry in advance. 
> 
> Regardless, a lot is about to happen, and I'm excited for the sheer angst of it all. Hope you guys are too!

“It is simply miraculous that we found this place! Is it not, Beatrix?” Josephine’s smile was almost infectious, but the Herald found it could not penetrate the cloud of thoughts raging in her mind. The pair stood in an abandoned and ruined fortress high in the Frostback Mountains, having discovered its existence only days a week earlier with the guiding of Solas. Beatrix was unsure of what to think about the entire situation. No one person in the world had enough luck to simply stumbled across an abandoned fortress in the mountains just waiting for someone to populate it. 

Solas had tried to explain it all away with his Fade dreams and magic bullshit, but Beatrix was having none of it. Something deep in her gut told her he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. Regardless of said truth, the Inquisition was here now, and they needed a base of operations. Clearing the rubble and creating a semblance of a base was proving a challenging task. 

Everyday brought new problems. From a ceiling collapse in the west corridor to an entire section of the second floor missing the exterior wall, problems abounded, and no one was could agree on a plan. Beatrix had been forced to step into a role she was less than comfortable with just to keep the peace. So far, none on the Council argued or opposed her decisions, which was at least something to be thankful for. 

“So, how do you think this will work?” Beatrix looked at Josephine dubiously. This was the tenth room they had surveyed that morning, and each was unsuited to the Ambassador’s needs. 

“Well, it will clearly need a bit of work, but if we put the Council Chambers down there, as we discussed, I think this should do perfectly as an office!” She spun around and gazed at Beatrix happily. 

The Herald had to blink a few times, trying to register what was actually said. “Wait. . . You like it?”

“Yes! It’s perfect! It’s adjacent to both the Great Hall and the Council Chambers, the two areas I will be populating the most. Not to mention,” Josephine turned and gestured to the crumbling window, “ this view is incredible!”

“Well, I’m glad you like it!” Beatrix mentally crossed ‘Find Josie an office’ off her to-do list. 

“It will need a lot of work before I can accept any visitors, but I think, in time, it shall do quite splendidly.” She spun around slowly taking it all in while she moved closer to Beatrix. 

Beatrix blushed as soon as she was face to face with the beautiful Antivan woman. She had tried to keep her distance since the events at Haven and had largely succeeded. So far, the two hadn’t been alone together since she awoke in camp. Beatrix instinctually took a step back as soon as Josephine got too close for comfort. 

“Really!?” Josephine let out an exasperated sigh.

“What?”

“You kiss me and then leave to go die, and now, when you are alive, you avoid me like I’m some. . .some. . .leper!” Josephine’s cheeks were red with anger, and she quickly spun on her heel to begin pacing.

“I’m sor -”

“Don’t!” Josephine held out a silencing hand and sighed once more. “I know. I’m sorry too.” She smoothed the front of her tunic and gracefully strode out of the room. 

From the hallway she exited to, slowly clapping rang out followed by Varric. “Smooth, kid.”

“Please, Varric, not now.” Beatrix leaned against one of the two intact pillars in the room and sunk to the floor.

“Look, I just came to find you to let you know Cullen and Cassandra are fighting again, but then you provided the show.” Beatrix groaned and squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could. She heard Varric sit down against the pillar across from her and slowly opened her eyes. “You kissed her?” He almost sounded shocked. 

“Yup.”

“Now why would you think that was a good idea?”

“Well, there was this archdemon, you see, and I thought I was going to die. . .or at the very least get set home if I somehow managed to survive.” 

“Well, you survived alright!” Beatrix buried her face in her hands and groaned louder. “You did the most textbook rookie mistake in the book. I’m allowed to mock you for it!”

“You’re worse than my sister sometimes, you know that, Varric?” 

“Wait, how have you never mentioned this sister before?” Varric sounded genuinely shocked. 

Beatrix looked at him and shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought I mentioned her. Guess not.” She slowly stood and wiped the dust of her trousers; Varric followed suit.

“So. . .tell me about this mysterious sister!”

“She’s younger than me by two years. Annoying little shit. Always steals my favorite clothes. Has horrible taste in boyfriends and even worse taste in music. Likes weird, ugly animals that no one else has typically heard of. Thinks her collection of plants are her children. Way too fiesty for her own good. . . Her name is Delaney. I don’t know!? She’s my sister! I love her cause I have to, but most days I just want to strangle her.”

Varric chuckled, “Sounds like a typical sibling.” Beatrix tuned him out a bit as he went off on a tangent about Hawke and his little brother, Carver and looked around the Great Hall, if it could even be called that. Like everything else, it lay in rubble and ruin with only some of the structure intact. The work that lay ahead of them was daunting, to say the least.

Beatrix was pulled out of her reverie by Cassandra who approached the duo with purpose. “May I have a moment?”

“Of course, Seeker, she’s all yours!” Varric bowed sarcastically and walked away to tease someone else, no doubt.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yes! We have much to discuss.”

“If this is about when the next shipment of stone is coming in from Orzammar, that is a question for Cullen. He’s in charge of that problem. I’m only responsible for finding quarries, so this deal with the dwarves is only temporary. . .And Josephine negotiated everything, so if there is a problem with the numbers take it up with her!”

“No. No. It’s not about that.” Cassandra stifled a chuckle. “I wanted to talk about you, about what happened at Haven.”

“. . . Oh.”

Cassandra smiled and lead Beatrix out of the castle and into the Outer Courtyard. The courtyard was swarming with people, as it had been since their arrival. 

“The Elder - Corypheus showed himself and in doing so, showed us his weakness.” Cassandra stopped mid-step to make eye contact with Beatrix. “You.”

The Herald chuckled lightly. “No. It’s the mark, and we already knew that.”

“Your wrong. It’s more than that, and you know it.” Cassandra finally allowed their walk to continue. “There is something inside you that scares Corypheus, and that is his weakness.” Beatrix opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced with a single look. “You say it is just the mark, and yet it is you and not the mark alone that survived the fall of Haven. It is you, not the mark, that has kept the peace this past month. It is you, not the mark, that has brought all these people together under a single banner with a singular cause.” 

Somehow they had walked all the way around the keep and now stood at the base of the stairs to the castle proper. A crowd had assembled, and Leliana stood at the first landing holding a giant sword with both hands. Cullen and Josephine flanked her on either side. 

Cassandra lead Beatrix up the stairs slowly, stopping and addressing the crowd when the reached the landing. “This Inquisition needs guidance. We need a leader. Someone who will usher us in the direction of our destiny. That person. . .is you, Beatrix.” 

Beatrix took a step back, almost tripping down the stairs. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You have been leading this Inquisition for a while, even if you haven’t realized it.” Cassandra looked behind her at the rest of the council. “The Council is in agreement. It is you, Beatrix. You are the Inquisitor.” The crowd erupted into cheers, and Beatrix felt the world tilt and shift around her as the reality of it all came crashing down around her.


	34. Do We Need to Plan Some Sort of Intervention?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet chapter this week. I wanted to change perspectives a little bit to give some background for where the story goes next. Quick head's up that this chapter and those that follow touches a bit on PTSD and survivor trauma. It is something never addressed in the game, but it should have been. I am adjusting the tags accordingly. 
> 
> Apologies for never posting regularly anymore. Every time I seem to have a solid schedule, it changes or something new is added to it. Regardless, I hope you all continue to read and enjoy what has become a lot more than I originally set out to write. 
> 
> And as always, I hope you all have a great Halloween/Samhain if you celebrate it! Furthermore, I wish you all well until the next chapter!

Over the course of the months that followed, the entire Inner Circle slowly became aware of a shift in Beatrix. She was rarely seen smiling or without someone trailing after her trying to get her to sign off on a scouting mission or a construction plan for Skyhold. The bags under her eyes were dark, and there was a heaviness to her steps that hadn’t been there before.

“I’ve seen this before.” Leliana was hunched over a small table near the fire. Only Josephine sat with her, looking very at odds next to the somewhat menacing figure of the spymistress. “She feels it - the weight of all her responsibilities. It has finally hit her, her true purpose here in this world.”

“Oh don’t be so melodramatic, my dear! She is simply overworking herself. She needs a nice weekend of rest and relaxation. Then, all shall be well again.” Vivienne ignored the daggers shot at her from across the room, and instead turned to Solas. “Can’t you help the little darling fond some rest? You are the expert, are you not?”

Solas sputtered in indignation and stood up from his seat with a start. “That is not how the Fade works! And furthermore, I am no nursemaid to be called upon to tend to the woes of a woman fully capable to tend to them herself!”

“That’s just it.” Leliana cut off Solas’s tirade before it could truly begin. Her voice cutting through the room like one of her arrows and forcing everyone to pay careful attention to her words. “She can’t. She probably doesn’t have the slightest idea what is troubling her. The warden didn’t when it first started.”

“This is an entirely different situation, my dear.”

“Is it?” The expression on Leliana’s face was enough to wither anyone, except Vivienne.

“This is not a Blight. The fate of the world is not in question. The Rift is sealed. Should she wish it, the ‘Inquisitor’, as she has now been declared, could leave us at any time.” Vivienne was smug, and everyone else in the room was glad she was sitting apart from the group. They did not wish to be in the path of Leliana’s death glare. “More importantly, she is ill equipped for the job. Why do we not call in the Hero of Ferelden? Or the Champion of Kirkwall? We have a friend of both among our number.”

“No.” Cassandra spoke up before Leliana could. “They have both done their duty to the world, and we can ask no more of them.”

“You certainly tried though. . .” Varric chuckled at Cassandra’s very pointed glare in his direction. 

“Regardless, we need Beatrix. Not only was she chosen by Andraste herself, she saved us when we faced certain death. Not only at Haven, but on missions as well. She has lead us through turbulent times and made decisions none of the rest of us could. We accomplish nothing by questioning her value to this endeavor.”

“That’s great a great sentiment, Cassandra, but the poor girl is exhausted.” Cullen was very clearly fed up with the debate. They had been talking for several hours now, and no resolution was is sight. All that had been accomplished so far was the agreement that something had changed after Beatrix had held that sword aloft in front of all the Inquisition. 

“What we need is to know what the root of the problem.” Iron Bull, who had been rather quiet for the majority of the discussion, spoke up at last. 

“What she really needs in a good time, if you know what I mean.” Sera barely contained a snicker as she elbowed Iron Bull in the ribs beside her. 

In the corner of the room, close to Solas, Cole flickered into existence out of the shadows he cloaked himself in so well. “Death. Decay. Rot. All that hangs in the balance. Rivers of blood over streets once safe. She worries this may descend into her own world. A voice. Quiet. Yet menacing. Telling her to go home while she still has a chance. Arms. Reaching out. Pulling at her hair. Her clothes. Her very self. Blood. So much blood. The carnage never leaves her mind. Haunting her. Keeping her awake at night. Tries to sleep. But the laugh. That awful laugh. It rings in her ears and reminds her of all her failures. I try to help her. I try to take away the pain. But there is so much. So much of it I don’t know where to start. All her feelings are tangled. Her mind orders her to do one thing. But her heart pulls her in three directions all at once. Family. Friends. Home. They’ve been redefined and the lines between all are blurred. Better to have no home. No friends. No family. Nothing to lose. Nothing more to hurt her. Nothing to be held against her. She knows. A war is coming. She is not ready. Will not be ready. Might never be ready. The mark it burns. Every time that voice speaks in her mind it burns. Fire. Pain. Searing. Burning. Tearing into her very soul. She knows now. It’s him. Corypheus. He wants her to be weak. She cannot be weak. She cannot let him win. Too much at stake. Too much could go wrong. Can’t rest. If she rests she will dream. And if she dreams she will see all that could be lost. Better to work. Work holds the voice at bay. Better still to leave. Go and fight and sleep under the stars. But then there will be friends. No family. No home. It’s all so muddled. What is what? Who is who? Who is she? What does she mean? What does that mean? The kiss -” 

“That’s enough, Cole.” Solas stopped the poor spirit from continuing to just ramble the Inquisitor’s very personal thoughts to those gathered in this small forgotten room in the basement of the keep. 

Cole looked over the group, panting. He clearly didn’t like their concerned stares, but he remained visible anyways. “She needs our help.”

Leliana looked at Vivienne and gestured to him with an ‘I told you so’ gesture. 

“Well, I stand by what I said.” Sera leaned back in her chair and propped her feet up on the table. “She and Lady Fancypants just need to -” The rest of her sentence was muffled behind Blackwall’s had firmly clamped over her mouth.

“So, what do we do to help her, then?” The Grey Warden’s gruff voice, and more importantly his question struck a chord with everyone in the room.

It was Dorian who spoke first. “I don’t think there is one solution to this problem. It is layered, and thus, the solution needs to be as well. I do believe each of us possesses a relevant skill which can assist our dear Beatrix.”

“What did you have in mind?”


	35. Foul Mouthed and Ill Tempered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so guilty for updating so irregularly nowadays. I should be getting back to a somewhat normal schedule in December, but I can make no promises unfortunately. This chapter went all over the place and not in any direction I had planned. It just went there. Some kind of time jump is probably going to happen in the next chapter as this got very long all of the sudden and it needs to reach some kind of climax eventually. 
> 
> As always, thank you to all of you! I am so inspired and motivated by you guys and all your wonderful feedback. I hope you have all had a great month, and I hope the next one will be even better.

The fog was thick as pea soup in the early morning light. She had been walking for a while and could no longer see the fence or the house she had come from. Yet, Beatrix was not scared. She knew this field like the back of her hand. A cow bell rang out somewhere close by, and after several moments of waiting, a soft, fluffy cow butted its head against Beatrix’s back. She turned slowly so as not to startle the creature. It was only a calf, no more than a handful of months old. She reached out a hand to run her fingers through its curly ginger fur and couldn’t help but smile. 

A voice called her name from the direction of the cottage. It was familiar yet also strange; foreign sounding in this all too familiar place. “Beatrix!?”

She shooed the calf away after giving it a quick hug. The voice continued to call out for her as she walked towards it. She still couldn’t place who the voice belonged to. It was a cool clipped British male voice, one that was not common this deep into the Scottish countryside. Beatrix continued walking through the fog, enjoying the cool, damp grass under her bare feet. A figure rose up out of the fog; Beatrix began to make out the linen tunic and a weird necklace as she grew nearer. 

But before she could make anything more out, she awoke in her bed at Skyhold. Her mouth was dry, and her whole body felt heavy. She attempted to piece together her dream, but it slipped from memory before she could even rub the sleep out of her eyes. Sitting up slowly, Beatrix felt like something was off about her room, like something had been changed that wasn’t noticeable enough to fully catch her eye. 

It took her roughly five minutes before she realized just how much sunlight was streaming in through the windows. She jumped out of bed and sprinted to the balcony, throwing the window open and looking up at the sky. It was at least 10 in the morning if not closer to noon. 

“Shit!” Beatrix screeched to the heavens and ran back inside. Rushing to get ready, she nearly fell over struggling to get her pants on, and, while trying to force a boot on, she banged her forehead against the wooden drawers said boots always sat next to. “Fuck!”

Clothes on, she hurried over to her desk to collect whatever paperwork she needed to hand over to the various scouts and leaders of the Inquisition, only to find her desk devoid of all paperwork. Her mouth hung open in astonishment, and fear slowly began coursing through her veins. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Shit. Fuck.” The litany of curses carried her down the stairs and into the Great Hall where courtiers had begun to gather. Beatrix immediately froze after she slammed the heavy wooden door open and was met with dozen of judgemental eyes. “Fuck.” One last curse was uttered under her breath and she scooted against the wall and into Josephine’s as nonchalantly as she could. 

“Josephine?” Beatrix finally looked down at her attire as she reflexively began to smooth down her tunic to look her best for the Antivan woman. Her outfit was a mess. Somehow, she had grabbed mismatching boots that were both meant for the same foot, and not only that, but her clothing choices were of less than complimentary colors, the lacing on her trousers was done improperly, and the button on the top of her tunic were stuck through the wrong holes. She could only imagine the atrocity that was her hair. 

A stifled laugh rang out from behind the heavy wooden desk in the corner. “Oh, my!” Josephine stood and gave Beatrix a small curtsy. The movement was awkward and felt out of place.“That is quite an interesting look, Inquisitor.”

“I overslept. . .” Beatrix sat in the chair opposite Josie and slumped forward so her elbows were on the table. Resting her head in her hands, she let out a groan and began to massage her temples. No matter what she did, she couldn’t seem to wipe off the final vestiges of sleep. She was still trying to run through her schedule to determine just how much she had missed. “FUCK!” Beatrix flew back into the chair with all the energy she could muster. “I missed the Council meeting!. . . And the scouting report! . . .And the -”

“Relax, Inquisitor, it has all been taken care of.” Josephine had a slight chuckle to her voice that irked Beatrix. She settled on the other side of the desk and began looking over various papers with mild focus, an action that irked Beatrix further. 

“By who?” The ire in her voice was evident. Beatrix didn’t really know why she was so upset either. Her work had been done for her. She should be elated and enjoy a respite from the chaos of her daily life. 

“Well. . .all of us.” Josephine was picking her words carefully, clearly trying to calm Beatrix of whatever mood she was in. 

“Oh.” 

Josie’s face fell with Beatrix’s one note reply. “No. No. It’s not. . .We saw you were struggling with everything. We only wanted to help.”

“No. It’s fine.” Beatrix stood robotically from the chair and began to walk to the door leading to the Hall. 

“Beatrix!” Josephine shot up out of her chair, and her voiced raised in volume. 

Beatrix barely registered the hurt in Josephine’s voice as she continued walking. She walked through the Hall and out to the steps leading to the courtyard. Some part of her recognized all the stares and comments from everyone she passed by, but they were all overshadowed by the internal negative voices swirling around in her head. She was not needed.. She couldn’t go back to her family, and instead she was stuck here for no reason or purpose. Everything that had been said on the very steps she trudged down when she had been made Inquisitor had all been a lie. Every sacrifice, every hard decision, every sleepless night had all been for nothing.

Beatrix wandered aimlessly until she ended up on the battlements looking out at the vast mountain range surrounding her. The fresh, cold air was helping to clear her mind and calm her down. She squeezed her eyes closed as tight as she could and breathed deeply, willing all of the negative thoughts of her mind to leave.

“Everyone is looking for you. They’re worried. Didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“Je-sus, Cole!” Beatrix started at the sudden break in silence. “Warn me next time you materialize behind me! I almost plummeted to my death from shock.”

“Oh. . .I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - Everyone is just so full of pain. And so are you. They know. They want to help. But you push them away.” He looked so small as he was apologizing.

“No. No. No. It’s okay, buddy. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have flipped my shit like that and just left. That wasn’t okay. And I was only joking about the dying thing. Don’t beat yourself up.” She instinctively reached out to comfort Cole, but he moved himself just out of reach before she could. 

“You need to apologize. Josie is hurt. You hurt her. Three times. That is also not okay.”

“I know.” She let out a soft groan. “And I know that I hurt her. And I’m sorry that I hurt her, I never meant to. There is just some shit that I need to work out before I can explain everything to her. And she deserves a full explanation.”

“You mean Max?”

“How did you. . .?”

“You think about her a lot. Dream about her. Your heart hurts because of her. You miss her, but you also don’t? Confusion. A heart divided. You want to miss her more than you do, but you are tired of the pain that causes. Work to distract from the pain. Stay busy and you won’t think about her. Better to be tired than hurting. Yes. It’s better this way. You know the others worry, but its fine. You’re better now. Numb. Yes. Better. No more -”

“Cole!”

He locked eyes with the ground and started to fade away. “I’m sorry.”

“No! Cole! Wait! I didn’t mean -” Her words were too late, “it.” He was gone, disappeared into whatever space he inhabited while not in a corporeal form. “Dammit!” Beatrix sighed and tried to right her appearance as best she could. She discarded her tunic and simply wore the white chemise underneath. While the couturiers would consider it scandalous, she felt much more at ease and less colorful that way.

After a few moments to gather her thoughts, she descended the Battlement steps. Before she had even fully made it down the stairs, she was spotted. 

“Glad to see you back, Trixie!” 

“Thanks, Varric.” Just seeing the dwarf made her smile and feel better about her situation. 

“Josie is in her office.” He kept walking past, headed to the bar.

“Can everyone read minds now?” Beatrix called out after him, but received only a hearty chuckle in response. She was stopped by almost every member of the Inner Circle, as she had come to think of them, on her way to Josie’s office, and took far more time than she would have liked explaining the situation and apologizing to them. 

“Come in.” The voice on the other side of the door was soft but cheerful. The happiness wasn’t real, however. Beatrix could hear the hollowness to the smile, even through the door. She pushed it open slowly, poking her head around it before fully sliding through the doorway.

“I’m sorry.”

Josephine sighed heavily and kept reading whatever papers currently held her fixation. “What do you want, Inquisitor? I’m rather busy at the moment.”

“I want to apologize and explain. You deserve that much.” Beatrix paused, searching for the right words, the perfect words. “I - There - It’s hard - I think I might be falling in love with you.” The sentence came out fast and jumbled up and messy. It was not at all what she had planned on saying the entire walk over here, but it had slipped out anyways. Josephine paled and froze up, clutching the paper in her hands as if willing them to keep her from falling out. “It’s complicated though because I also love someone else. But she’s not here, so it shouldn’t matter. I’m here, and I might never go home so I might as well be happy here. But I can’t. I still have a small part of me that hopes that I’ll go back. That I might get to see her again. I feel like I’m stuck trying to be two people all the time: Beatrix Jones, a random engineering student from a small village in the middle of nowhere Scotland, and Beatrix Trevelyan, leader of a revolution and savior of the whole world. The whole thing is tearing me apart inside. I can’t sleep because whenever I close my eyes I see her or Corypheus staring back at me, taunting me. So I threw myself into work, and I know, I know, that was unhealthy. And that I was a mess. And I am grateful to you all for wanting to help me, but I like being busy. I like feeling useful. And that was taken away from me. And it is not fair of me to take it out on you. And I’m sorry for that. You don’t deserve that.” Beatrix finally took a breath and collapsed into a seat by the fireplace. “And none of that was what I rehearsed on the way over here.”

“Can I - I need to think about all of that.”

Beatrix sat up more in the chair so she could make eye contact with Josephine. “Yeah. Yeah. No. Thanks fine. I totally get it. I kinda dumped a lot on you there. Sorry.”

“Thank you, Beatrix.” She finally set the paper down on her desk and smoothed it out. “Should we go get dinner with everyone? I believe Varric and Sera have planned some kind of show tonight to raise your spirits.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Beatrix stood, walked over to Josephine’s desk, and offered the Ambassador her arm. “Shall we?” Josephine chuckled and accepted the offer, and the two women exited the room arm in arm as they headed to the tavern together.


	36. The Boys are Back in Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Dragon Age Day, guys! I was very productive this week, so I decided to do a surprise chapter for DA Day! It's not super long, and it leads into a whole shit storm for Thursday. I'm excited! Special thanks to the Discord friends for motivating me with emotions!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and have a great week!

There really was no place like home for Beatrix. This far down the mountain, Skyhold rising up out of the trees was a breathtaking sight. The mountain flowers were in full bloom, and there was a peacefulness to the mountain valley. Beatrix was happy to finally be back. She had been away far too long, and she knew a ‘discussion’ awaited her in the Council room upon her arrival. She had just gotten so caught up in everything that the days and months had simply gotten away from her. 

The bridge of her nose itched something fierce, and she could almost see the skin starting to peel off in her peripheral vision. She was just happy to not be Sera; the rogue was more burn than person. Iron Bull was somehow the least affected, and it irritated the rest of the group. Dorian was currently in the lead for most complaints made about it, with Beatrix as a close runner up. 

Clearing out the Hinterlands had not been kind to any of them, but Beatrix could finally rest easy knowing that all the people who lived there were safe and all the Rifts were closed. The stepped out of the teleportation circle and the thick cloud of sulfuric air that hung around it. As much as she hated the sensation the circles caused, it was better than having to walk for months to reach her destination. She mentally took a note to thank Solas and Vivienne again for their contribution to the project. 

Sera threw herself out of the circle and started dry heaving in the grass. “Oh, enough already! You’re clearly just exaggerating!” Dorian’s tone as he stepped out of the circle was less than amused. 

“No. . .I’m not. . .That thing. . .is awful. . .I hate it. . .” Sera threw herself onto the ground with as much drama as she could muster. 

“Can you believe those two?” Iron Bull signed to Beatrix. Common Sign Language looked clunky and awkward on his hands, but Beatrix still understood him. His past experience with Signed Qunlat had helped him pick it up when they were in the Hinterlands. 

“It’s the same argument. They did the same thing before, when we first got to the Hinterlands.” Beatrix signed back. CSL was extremely similar to British Sign Language, which she already knew from growing up with a hard of hearing sister. There were differences, of course, but she was able to just pass them off as a weird ‘accent’ most of the time. 

“Well, they haven’t killed you yet, so clearly they aren’t all bad. Right, Beatrix?” There was a notable pause as Dorian waited for her support. “Beatrix?” Dorian turned slowly to look at her. He caught the shrug she made at the end of her response to Bull. “Are you guys talking with your hands again? Stop that! I don’t like being excluded. Not to mention, it’s incredibly rude!”

“Well, then next time we come across someone who wants to teach us their language, maybe learn it!” Bull was harsher than he needed to be, embarrassing Dorian enough that the tips of his ears turned pink. 

The mage spent a few moments sputtering before Sera piped up, “Oh, Andraste’s ass, just fuck already!”

Beatrix barely stifled a laugh as both men started arguing the ridiculousness of her suggestion and turned to start the trek up to the keep. After about 30 minutes of further arguments, their walk up the keep was a quiet one. Beatrix knew they were all thinking about the rest and relaxation that awaited them inside the stone walls at the summit. 

Kieron and Morris, two members of the guard that Beatrix knew Cullen trusted, were standing watch just inside the portcullis. She raised her hand in greeting and heard frantic shouting and grinding of gears. The heavy metal gate was slowly raised to allow their passage. Things inside the courtyard were as busy as ever. 

There were stonemasons scattered about working closely with the carpenters to repair the few remaining destroyed sections of Skyhold and bring it back to livable condition. She nodded her goodbyes to her companions and headed to find those in charge of construction for an update on the progress. 

“Inquisitor!”

“Scout Harding!?” Beatrix was surprised to see the dwarven woman away from the field. “What are you doing in Skyhold?”

“Oh, just refueling and giving the trainees a quick rest before we head out to Crestwood. Love the haircut by the way! It suits you!” Scout Harding, as always, was a bright spot of sunshine in Beatrix’s day. It baffled her how one person could be so relentlessly positive. 

“Thank you!” Beatrix was momentarily distracted from the first half of Harding’s words by the compliment, and subconsciously reached a hand up to run her fingers through the now very close cropped side of her hair. “ But, what are we doing in Crestwood? I didn’t know any missions had been approved for that area yet.” 

Harding’s face twisted in displeasure, “I should probably let Varric and the Council explain it.” 

Beatrix nodded, not liking the implication of Varric being involved with Council business. He typically liked to stay away from the more political aspects of the Inquisition. With furrowed brow, she walked away and in the direction of the chief builders. The brief meeting that followed was still far too long for her liking. 

When she finally managed to wrangle herself away, the sun was nearly at its peak in the sky. She rolled out her neck and headed up the stairs to the keep itself. At this time of the day, she had no idea where everyone would be. Things had changed quite a bit in her absence. Much of the day to day responsibilities of being Inquisitor had been delegated to the various members of the Inner Circle. 

It seemed peace would continue to avoid her, however. Beatrix could here the argument from halfway up the steps. Two members of the keep staff ran down the stairs past her. One of them piped up as she passed, “You may not want to go in there, ser. The Seeker is yelling up a storm.”

The other quickly chimed in, “She nearly strangled Mister Tethras.”

Beatrix swore softly under her breath and quickened her pace up the steps. Cassandra’s voice was distinct amid the hubbub. The scene that greeted her was almost comical. Varric was pressed against the wall next to a fireplace, clearly wanting to be anywhere but there. Cullen was physically restraining Cassandra as the Seeker screamed a litany of curses and profanities at the rogue. Leliana stood between them, looking completely unphased and fed up, and yet trying to reason with the pair. Every noble and dignitary looked both shocked and very interested.

“HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” Beatrix lowered her voice the moment she had caught everyone’s attention. “I swear, I can’t leave you guys anywhere!” She meant it as a joke, but it only provoked Cassandra further.

“Of course you would treat this with flippancy!” The sheer rage in Cassandra’s voice took Beatrix quite aback. “You will probably take his side as well!”

“I don’t even know what’s going on, Cass!” Beatrix tried her best to look non-threatening, knowing anything else would just add to the fire. “How can I take sides if - ?”

“He lied! That’s what is going on! Varric is a snake and a liar!” Cassandra tried breaking free of Cullen and lunging at Varric, but the Commander kept his hold on her well enough. 

“Woah! Woah!” Beatrix locked her gaze on Varric. “ Varric, is that true?”

“In a sense. . .” He looked visibly uncomfortable with all the attention.

“Is this why Scout Harding is heading into the Hinterlands?”

“Maybe. . .”

“Varric, give me a straight answer, or I will let Cassandra loose.” Beatrix had no intent on following through on the threat, but she needed answers. 

“I might not have been entirely honest when I said I didn’t know where Hawke is, well was.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, he knew where Hawke was the whole time, and refused to help this Inquisition in our hour of great need, but now when he can look like a hero, he asks Hawke for aid, the viper!” Cassandra cut in before Varric could respond. 

“Cullen, take the Seeker for a walk. She needs some fresh air.” Beatrix waited until the pair were completely outside the hall to turn to the two remaining stakeholders. “Leliana, Varric, please explain why in the Maker’s name we are going to Crestwood.”

“It would seem that Hawke has a friend, a Warden, who may know what is going on and might have some information on Corypheus. This friend is located in Crestwood at present.” Leliana seemed almost bored in her delivery of the information.

“Wait. . .is Hawke here?”

“. . .Maybe. . .”


	37. From One Badass to Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with the whole VGA thing last night, I didn't end up finishing this chapter until today. I was freaking out too hard last night to write anything coherent. Anyways, have some angst to add to the collective angst of the fandom. 
> 
> We've officially jumped ship by the way. I'm only using the game as a rough outline of events at this point and occasionally as a reference so characters still sound like themselves. 
> 
> I am so happy to be back posting regularly! Writing this story fills me with such joy, and sharing it with all of you fills me with even more of it. As always, I hope you all have a great week! And for those of you about the take finals, I wish you all the best!

Beatrix’s stomach was in knots. She was about to meet one of the most influential people in all of Thedas, and she had just yelled at one of her best friends. It was safe to say that the day wasn’t going how she had planned. She could hear two voices on the other side of the door to the battlements, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Beatrix took a deep breath and pushed the solid wooden door open. 

The view from the battlements was beautiful, and this high up she was glad the mid afternoon sun had been shining so brightly all day, warming the air. Two people turned to look at her as she descended the steps from the tower onto the battlement. One was a human man with dark scruffy hair and an even scruffier beard. By all accounts he looked like Hawke, or at least what Beatrix imagined Hawke to look like based on Varric’s description. The other was a elven woman with what Beatrix new to be a variant of Vallaslin. She figured the woman was Merrill; Varric had mentioned she and Hawke were still close. 

“Hawke, I presume?” Beatrix strode over to the pair with all the confidence she could muster. Inside, she was screaming. She was in the presence of two legends, heros who had saved the world. 

“And you must be the Inquisitor that Varric has told me so much about! Beatrix, right?” While he had looked terse when she had first walked out, this close to him Beatrix could see the subtle laugh lines around his mouth and at the corners of his eyes. She only nodded in response, not trusting herself to speak. “This is Fenris, although I’m assuming you already know that.” 

“Uhhh, yes! Varric has told me all about you!” The minute the words were out of her mouth, she realized how weird they must sound. “NotinlikeaweirdwayjustthatVarrictalksabouthisadventureswithallofyousomuchandIjusthappentobetheresometimesand-” Beatrix stopped the flow of word vomit when Hawke burst into laughter. 

“Did I miss something?” Merrill looked confused, akin to a lost puppy.

“No. No, Merrill. Just - Varric’s description was more accurate than I thought he could manage.”

“I resent that.” Varric exited the doorway behind her, glaring at Hawke with mock hurt. “Good to see you again, Daisy.”

“Varric! Oh, I’m so happy to see you too! When Hawke told me he was coming here to visit, I just had to tag along.” She lowered her voice and put her hand next to her mouth as if trying to hide her words from Hawke. “Between you and me, he needs back up.” She winked as she lowered her hand, a giant grin plastered on her face.

Varric copied Merrill’s posture and responded, “Not to mention the fight Isabella would throw if we just let him go off without a babysitter.”

“I can still hear you!” 

“Oh, hush, Hawke. It’s so nice to meet you, Inquisitor. My name is Merrill.”

“Call me, Beatrix, please!” Beatrix accepted Merrill’s outstretched hand, and felt a sense of calm wash over her. “So, I don’t mean to sound rude, but why are you both here? There wasn’t a lot of explanation.”

Every semblance of humor faded from Hawke’s body in an instance. “We are here because of the man who gave you that.” He pointed to her hand. “Corypheus is my responsibility. I let didn’t take care of him properly the first time, which makes me responsible for the mess you have been tasked with cleaning up.” He grew quiet for a moment. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

“You have information about Corypheus? Since when?” Beatrix turned to look at Varric. “You knew about this? Is that why Cassandra is so mad?”

“The Seeker is mad about a lot of things. That is only one of them.” Beatrix couldn’t be sure, but she thought she heard a hint of regret in his voice.

Beatrix refocused her attention to the task at hand. “So, Corypheus? What do you know?”

“I know he’s connected to the Grey Wardens. Last time I fought and killed him, he was able to control them by using the darkspawn. Your spymaster, Leliana, has informed me that the Grey Wardens have gone missing.”

“Shit!” Beatrix turned sharply away from the group, her mind racing. “If he controlled them the last time, then. . .”

“It’s a possibility. However, I have a friend in the Grey Wardens. He was looking into something for me, and the last time we spoke he mentioned that there was some unrest among the other Wardens. He refused to elaborate beyond that, but I have my guesses.”

“If your friend is a Warden, then he must be gone too if you haven’t heard from him recently.”

“Not necessarily. He told me he would be hiding in an old smuggler’s cave near Crestwood. He should still be there.”

“You mean, if we’re lucky, he’ll still be there.”

“Well. . .yes. . .”

“So, that is why Scout Harding is investigating Crestwood?”

“Leliana wanted to clear it with you, but the risk of something happening was too great to wait for you to return.” Varric was almost bashful in his explanation. It was odd and uncomfortable for Beatrix. 

“It’s fine. I’m glad we already have Harding looking into it. But I still have far more questions than answers.”

“And I am happy to answer all of them.” Hawke nodded his head, conceding. 

“Unfortunately, I have other issues to see to, but I shall find you tomorrow to continue this.” Beatrix took a step away from the group. “Hawke. Merrill. Thank you. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

“Same to you, Inquisitor.” Hawke nodded his head once more, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Bye, Beatrix! It was nice to meet you!” Merrill waved happily from her perch on a parapet. 

“Do you want me to go with you?” Varric lowered his voice as they approached the door to the stairwell.

“No. I think that will only make matters worse.” Beatrix sighed. “And besides, your friends are here. It would be cruel of me to steal you away from them.” Beatrix watched the smile grow on Varric’s face. “Have a good night, Varric.”

“Same to you, Trixie. Same to you.”

The walk to the Commander’s office from the Battlements was a long one, and it gave her plenty of time to ruminate over all the information she had at hand, both about the Grey Warden situation and whatever she was about to walk into. As soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs leading up to the Commander’s office, she could hear Cassandra fuming. For a brief moment, Beatrix felt bad for Cullen for having to deal with the brunt of her rage, but that moment was quickly overshadowed by Beatrix’s self-reminder of what she had waiting for her.

The door was opened for her by a guard standing outside the office as soon as she crested the stairs. The poor girl looked visibly uncomfortable with her situation. Beatrix flashed her a comforting smile as she entered the office. 

“YOU!” Cassandra’s snarling face met her as soon as she crossed the threshold. 

“Me?”

“You let than squirmy little viper get away!”

“Cassandra -”

“Shut up, Cullen!” Cullen took a step back, almost flinching. “Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Did know know that Varric was hiding Hawke?!?”

“No.”

“Then why are you protecting him?”

“Because, Seeker, it is my job to keep this Inquisition intact. I can not allow anyone’s personal feelings to compromise this operation.” Beatrix steeled her nerves and met Cassandra’s rage with fire of her own. “I understand your anger, Cassandra, but it does nothing. What purpose does it serve?”

Cassandra deflated and sank into a chair. “I suppose you are right.” She sighed heavily. “We needed someone to lead this Inquisition, and he lied to my face. Leliana and I tried to search for the Hero of Fereldan, but she had vanished. We thought that Hawke’s and the Hero’s disappearances were connected. But they weren’t.”

“The Inquisition has a leader now.” Cullen finally spoke up from his place behind his desk. 

“I know that! But Hawke could have been at the conclave! He could have saved Most Holy!”

“Or he could have died with everyone else!”

“Fine! Then after the conclave! Varric could have told us then, and Hawke could have helped us! He could have helped you adjust to everything!”

“Varric was only protecting his friend.” Beatrix paused to allow the weight of her words to sink in. “Would you not do the same for me if the roles were reversed?”

“That would be different -”

“No, it wouldn’t be.” Beatrix hated being so stern with Cassandra, but everything was just too much for her first day back from a nearly six month trip. “It would be exactly the same, and deep down, you know that! 

Cassandra dropped her head in defeat. “I believed him. . .He spun his pretty story, and I just believed him. I never explained why we needed Hawke. I’m such a fool!”

Beatrix approached her friend and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You are not a fool, Cassandra. You are one of the smartest woman, no, people I know. There is no blame to be handed out here.” Beatrix sat down across from her. “You did what you could with the information that you had. That is an admirable thing.”

It was quiet for quite a while before Cassandra responded. “You’re right. . .on more than one account.” Cassandra breathed in deeply and continued, letting her words flow out with her exhale, “This isn’t even about Hawke. Or Varric.”

“I know.” Beatrix reached out a placed a hand on Cassandra’s knee. 

As soon as the contact was made, tears started flowing down Cassandra’s face. “I should have more careful. I should have been smarter. If I had just done more, Justinia would still be here. It should have been me, not her who perished. Why wasn’t it me?” The sob that followed her question racked her body and broke Beatrix’s heart. It hurt her to see her closest and most trusted friend in so much pain. She jolted forward and wrapped her arms around Cassandra. Cassandra grabbed onto her like she was a drowning person just given a life raft and let every ounce of her sadness and anger come pouring out. 

They stayed like that for a long time, until far after Cullen had cleared everyone from the room including himself. Eventually, the pair were just kneeling on the floor, holding each other. Cassandra pulled away, wiping the vestigial tears from her eyes. “I want you to know. . .I have no regrets. . .This Inquisition. . .You. . .I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I know.” Beatrix gave her a quick hug and sighed, “I know.”


	38. Fitting Outcomes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time, no update. Sorry about that. I wrote and rewrote roughly five different versions of this chapter. Nothing felt right. I'm still not super happy with this chapter, but it is out in the world now. And thus, it is out of my hands. I hope you guys enjoy this shorter chapter nevertheless. 
> 
> Fingers crossed my writer's block departs and I can get back to a regular posting schedule.

Beatrix stared at herself in the mirror, fussing with the expertly crafted garment draped across her lean figure. She was only delaying the inevitable. Every inch of the dress was technically perfect. The embroidered ribbon along the neckline that traveled down to cross over the bodice gave her the illusion of having more curves than she did. Nearly a year and a half of running around playing Messiah had robbed her of her former plump figure. Staring at herself in the mirror, she almost missed how she once looked. She felt utterly ridiculous in this gown. The starched satin fabric with its rich crimson tones matched beautifully with the doublets Josephine had designed for the men of the Inquisition, but Beatrix felt awkward. The gossamer sleeves poofed out in a rather coquettish way and made her look far too delicate and innocent. She felt more like a girl playing dress up than a woman in charge of any army. Taking a deep breath, Beatrix smoothed the front of the dress with two shaking hands and exited her closet.

“My dear, you are a vision.” Vivienne raised her glass in a silent toast. 

“Do you like it?” Josephine sheepishly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and took a step towards Beatrix. “I can make adjustments if you would like? I’m sure Gloria wouldn’t mind one or two more alterations.”

“No!” Beatrix nearly surprised herself with the terseness of her response. “No, it’s quite alright.”

“It’s the sleeves!” Dorian proclaimed as he drew himself out of his chair by the fire with all the melodrama he could muster. “They just don’t work on our lovely Trixie’s frame. We should be showing off the power of our dear Inquisitor not hiding it behind. . .frippery.” Dorian tugged at one of the sleeves as he said the word. 

“The sleeves are a bit much.” Beatrix immediately felt bad for agreeing with Dorian as Josie’s face fell just a tad. “But I love the pockets! They make the dress functional and beautiful!”

“This has pockets!?” Dorian was clearly delighted by the prospect. The two shared a moment of enthusiasm over the pocket situation, while Gloria, the seamstress Josie had hired to make all the Inquisition’s outfits for the ball, carefully began to mark off where she needed to hem the gown and where any last minute adjustments needed to be made. 

“Well, I’m certainly glad I’m not the only one who thinks the sleeves are atrocious.” Vivienne took a long dreg from her goblet before continuing. “Gloria, dear, I mean no offense. On any other woman they would look simply Divine, but Beatrix is far too broad to wear something so. . .feminine.” Vivienne paused once more to flag down one of Gloria’s assistants. “What masks do we have that go with this dress?”

The poor girl who had been asked paled and began stammering as she searched frantically for the masks Vivienne requested. 

Vivienne held out a hand as she waited, rolling her eyes and sighing loudly to make her annoyance clear. “Why is no one ever ready?” Josephine quickly intervened and located the masks for Vivienne’s pursuing. “Well, at least someone was prepared.” Vivienne smiled in a near genuine manner, then held out two of the intricately painted porcelain masks in front of her. “Which do you think, dear? I, of course, am partial to the half mask, but as it is your first attempt to play the game maybe you should go with the full mask.”

“Why do I even need to wear a mask at all?” Beatrix craned her head over her shoulder to try to look at Vivienne while Gloria continued to measure. 

“It’s customary, darling. We are trying to blend in with the nobility, not scare them away with primitive savagery.”

“What Madame de Fer means is that, in Orlais, nobility wear masks to represent the different faces they show to different people while playing the game.”

“Well, I only have one face I show to people: my own.” The discussion carried on for several minutes and eventually shifted to other accessories as every detail was carefully planned out by the three fashion know-it-alls within the Inner Circle. 

A soft knock interrupted the chatter and general hubbub. “I hate to interrupt such camaraderie. . .”

“Leliana! We were wondering when you would join us. I need help picking out shoes for everyone!” Josephine linked arms with the redhead and began to lead her over to the desk where a selection of shoes sat waiting to be picked over.

“Actually, I’m here to steal the Inquisitor away.”

“What?” Everyone voiced their confusion at once. 

“No no no. I very clearly marked this time off of Beatrix’s schedule.” Leliana responded to Josephine with an apologetic shrug, but was cut off before she could voice any actual apology. “No! Leliana, I am running dangerously behind on all this as is. You cannot possibly have any reason that would -”

“The Warden is here.”

Vivienne was the first to break the silence, “My dear, you don’t mean. . .”

“Yes. The Warden is here.” The stress put on ‘the’ made it perfectly clear who Leliana was referencing.

“What? Why?”

“According to Scout Harding, the Warden insisted on coming to Skyhold herself when the scout party found her in Crestwood.” Leliana offered an apologetic look to Josephine who was clearly upset. “She’s waiting in the Great Hall.”

Beatrix stood frozen and open mouthed for several minutes while her brain tried to process the extent of the information. She felt everyone’s eyes boring into her, wanting her to take some form of action. Her dress felt far too tight suddenly, and she found it hard to breathe. “Excuse me for a moment, I just need. . .to. . .change.” She hurried back into the closet and leaned her back against the door as soon as it shut behind her.

The Warden was here. To talk. To her. Questions raced through her head at an alarming rate. She shakily began to undo the ties at the sides of the dress, trying her best to breathe through the rising panic. She fumbled with the buttons on her tunic as she redressed, trying to be quick so as to not make the Warden wait an inordinate amount of time. 

Finally feeling as though she was as appropriately dressed as she could be to meet the Hero of Ferelden, Beatrix exited her closet to face a nearly empty room. Josephine and Leliana were standing near the fire clearly in the middle of some short of heated debate, but other the those two, the room was empty. Beatrix cleared her throat to catch their attention after a few painfully awkward moments of waiting.

Josephine was the first to respond. “Beatrix, good! When you are finished with Warden Commander Cousland, please come find me in my office. We still have a lot to finalize before the gala.” With a sharp nod, the Ambassador was gone. 

Leliana looked an odd mix of excited and apologetic as she gestured towards the door. “Shall we?”


	39. The Warden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's been a while yet again. I have the next few chapters planned out, and I am thinking about changing to posting on Fridays to see if that helps me get stuff done easier.

“People were starting to stare, so I moved them into the War Room.” Cullen was waiting for them at the base of the stairs, a panicked look on his face.

“Them?” Beatrix spun around to look for an answer somewhere on Leliana’s face.

“The Warden didn’t come alone.” 

“Well, who came with her?” 

Leliana remained silent and, instead of answering, pushed the door to the Great Hall open, revealing dozens of prying eyes staring at the trio from every corner of the room. “I don’t believe you need us to escort you to the War Room, Inquisitor.”

“You’re not coming?” Leliana gave her a curious look in response to Beatrix’s question. “I just assumed you would want to be there. She is your friend after all.”

“This is not a personal call. My presence would only interrupt the proceedings.” 

Before Beatrix could insist further, Leliana nodded and walked away towards the tower. “Cullen?” 

“I’m afraid I have other business to see to. You’re on your own, Inquisitor.” 

“Great.” She couldn’t hold back the sarcasm as it edged into her voice. Beatrix took a deep breath before quickly sliding from the hallway to her room to the hallway to Josephine’s office and the War Room directly next to it. She did not like that she would be alone for this meeting. Having Varric when meeting Hawke had been helpful. She had not felt like as much of an outsider than she did now. The heavy oak door seemed more imposing than Beatrix had ever remembered it looking. She placed both hands on the door, pausing to collect herself and put on her best face before pushing it open. 

A woman of average height and muscular build was leaning on the war table, discussing something quietly with the older, severe man beside her. She was rather plain looking save the jagged scar that marred her left cheek from chin to brow and her piercing green eyes. Her ditch water blonde hair hung in two think plaits bound with blue cord, and, while she may have been at court in a sense, she opted to wear heavy plate mail armor with the tabard of a Grey Warden. From every description Beatrix had heard of the woman, this was clearly Warden-Commander Amerida Cousland, and the man with her was likely Senior-Warden Loghain Mac Tir.

Beatrix waited for there to be a natural pause in their private conversation before fully approaching the pair. “Warden-Commander.”

The Warden-Commander looked Beatrix thoroughly up and down before finally meeting her gaze. “You must be this Herald I have been told so much about.”

“Uhhhhhhhh. . .Yes. Yes, I am. Inquisitor Beatrix Jo - Trevelyan.” Beatrix stumbled over her last name, almost reverting to her old name from before all this magic and madness ever entered her life. 

“Beatrix Jo Trevelyan?” The Warden-Commander seemed almost amused at the error.

“No, just Beatrix Trevelyan, but you may call me Beatrix.” She stood up as straight as she could, and tried to remember all the advice the Council had given her about looking like she belonged in charge.

The man snorted and rolled his eyes in response to her frantic display, but he was quickly chastised. “Loghain, please! We were all new at this once.” The Warden-Commander rounded the table to situate herself on the same field as Beatrix. It was a move she recognized from her time with Leliana, a tactic the spy used frequently to earn people’s trust when time was of the essence. “Beatrix, then. You may call me Amerida, if you wish. Leliana has quite thoroughly explained your situation to me, so there is no need for you to keep up appearances here if you do not wish to.” Amerida carefully raised herself onto her tiptoes and slid onto the war table, so she was resting comfortably against it. 

“Ok, Amerida. . why have you come to Skyhold? We were preparing to meet you in Crestwood in a few weeks time.”

“Yes, well time is of the essence.” She drew out the word time ever so slightly, just enough to draw special attention to it. “Not to mention, you seem to be preparing for a great many things around here.” 

Beatrix couldn’t help but feel wounded at whatever implication the Warden was trying to make. “Yes, well, the Inquisition never sleeps.”

“And neither does it’s Inquisitor from what I hear.” There was a beat of quiet while she searched Beatrix’s face for some kind of answer to an unasked question. “Anyways,” Amerida pushed herself from the table and went to stand by Loghain once more, “we have business to discuss.”

“Yes, we do.” Beatrix once again tried to gather herself together enough to fake having her shit together. “Well, we have noticed that all the Grey Wardens that should be in the area are missing, and as you have probably been informed, there is the Corypheus situation. . .”

“And you’re wondering if the two could be connected?” Beatrix silently nodded her affirmation. “It wouldn’t be entirely out of the realm of possibility. Most Wardens thought Corypheus’s death meant an end to whatever issue he posed. But it takes more than a flesh wound to kill an Archdemon. I had friends of mine within the order start to investigate. Everywhere we looked, there were only hints. Never any proof. And then, every Warden I was in contact with heard the Calling.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about the Calling.”

“To put it plainly, every Warden is connected to the Darkspawn. . .eventually the connection kills you.” Amerida paused for a moment and a look of pure melancholy crossed her face. Loghain put a hand on her shoulder, and the two shared a glance before she continued. “At first its just bad dreams. Then music. This haunting, awful melody that calls to you, begs you to answer its call. It grows louder and louder until you just give into it. You journey to Deep Roads and you die fighting the Darkspawn that habitat those damned halls. ‘In Death, Sacrifice’.” Loghain mouthed the words along with her as she said them. There was a look in her eyes that twisted Beatrix up. It was the look of someone who knew their own end was imminent. 

“Every Grey Warden is hearing that right now? They all think they’re dying?”

“Yes. Corypheus triggered the Calling somehow.” She paused, clearly planning her next words carefully. “If all the Wardens die, who will stop the next Blight? That’s what has them all terrified. That’s why I’m here.”

“Scared people make foolish decisions.”

“Yes, some more foolish than others.” Amerida’s words seemed to light an old anger in Loghain as he huffed and spun to glare out the window. She ignored him and pointed at the map. “Last I knew, the Wardens were planning to gather here, the Western Approach. The exact location is some old Tevinter ritual tower. I have already sent a man to investigate, but he will need help.”

“You aren’t coming?”

“Unfortunately not. My current mission calls me away. I am trusting you to take care of my people, Beatrix.” Her eyes burned with a fierce passion that scared the shit out of Beatrix. 

“I understand.”

“Be mindful of Warden-Commander Clarel. She is a mage of no small skill. She is smart and resourceful and very determined. She’s a good Warden, but you do not want her on your bad side.” Amerida walked around the war table once more, this time extending her hand. The pair grasped each others’ forearms, and shared a brief moment of understanding before the Warden stepped back. “I need to be going. Tell Leliana I said farewell.”

“I will.” 

And with that, the Wardens both were gone. Beatrix suddenly felt a pit growing in her stomach. All the Wardens thought they were dying. 

“Blackwall.” The name barely left her lips before she was racing out of the Keep and towards the stables. The large, burly man was lounging on a pile of hay whittling away at some new toy for one of the children of Skyhold. “Blackwall!” The poor man shot up to attention, struggling to right himself.

“In-Inquisitor!? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Beatrix said nothing, only wrapped her arms around him tightly. She couldn’t even imagine what he was going through to stay at her side and fight. After a few awkward moments, Blackwall returned her hug, but was still flustered. When she finally let go, his face was riddled with confusion.

“What was that about?”

“You are arguably the most honorable man here, Blackwall. I need you to know how much I appreciate you being here and fighting alongside me.”

Blackwall awkwardly looked to his boots and furrowed his brow. “No, ma’am. I’m just an ordinary man who has found himself in some extraordinary circumstances. That’s all.”

“Well, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask for it.” Blackwall only nodded, barely meeting her eyes. Beatrix opened her mouth to ask him about the Calling, but thought better of it. If he wanted to talk about it, he would come to her.


	40. Red Sky at Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess what??? It's finally new chapter time! This one goes from happy fluff to kinda horrific real fast, but I'm pretty proud of it overall. 
> 
> I have been forced to accept that updates are going to sporadic for the entirety of this semester. Which sucks as I am a big fan of schedules. But I cannot help the demands of my final semester of uni. 
> 
> I hope you have all had a wonderful year so far! Something in my gut tells me this will be a good year, so my best wishes to you all!

It was late when Beatrix finally showed up outside Josephine’s office,  far later than the Inquisitor had intended it to be. She and Blackwall had talked in the tavern for a bit, which meant they had involuntarily been joined by Sera and Bull. The conversation had been interesting to say the least. She hesitantly knocked on the door and waited for a response. 

“Come in.” The response was soft, and Beatrix barely heard it through the solid wood door. The voice was unmistakably Josephine, however. 

She nudged the door open and wordlessly stepped through. Beatrix’s heart twisted as she registered the exhaustion that was plastered on Josephine’s face in the split second before she put on her diplomatic mask. “Don’t do that.” There was a pleading tone in Beatrix’s tone she hadn’t meant to add. She chalked it up to her guilt at the late hour.

“Do what?” Josephine's pleasant smile betrayed nothing of her true feelings. 

“This” Beatrix gestured with splayed fingers and an open palm. “The fake smile you put on for everyone.” Beatrix tread across the floor towards the desk. “Don’t, Josephine.”

Josephine’s smile stayed in tact, but her eyes were alight with anger. “What would you prefer, Beatrix?” Her words, while pleasant on the surface, had a bite to them. “Would rather I scream and rage? Would that satisfy you?”

“I want you to be honest with me.”

“What purpose would that serve?” She finally put down her pen and curled her hands into fists. After taking a deep breath, she raised her gaze to meet Beatrix’s, and something inside her broke. “You give your time to what you care about, Inquisitor, and I am clearly not one of those things. At least, not anymore.”

Beatrix’s steps faltered for a moment. Her stomach twisted up in knots, and her mouth was dry. “How - That’s not true, Josephine.”

“Isn’t it?” The slight chuckle that bubbled up with her words was laced with hurt.

“I - There is so much expected of me, and. . .you are the only thing that makes it bearable.” Beatrix could not meet Josephine’s eyes. As soon as the words left her lips, she wished she had not uttered them. “I - That was forward of me. I’m - I’m sorry.” She started to backup to leave.

“Beatrix!” Josephine’s voice stopped her dead in her tracks. “If that is true, you must see things from my perspective.”

Beatrix stayed where she was, her mind scrambling for any answer. There were several moments of uneasy silence before she managed to get her mouth to work. “I do.” She looked over her shoulder to meet Josephine’s gaze once again. “I really am sorry.” Beatrix knew there was more she needed to say, but she didn’t know how to put it all into words. She knew that she was fully the cause of this conversation, but it didn’t make it any less painful. “I love - loved someone. . before. . .all this happened.” She took a shaky breath in before continuing. “Her name was Maxine, and I cared for her a great deal. I’ve spent the past year half hoping that all this was just a dream or that, if it is real, that it would all be over soon and I could go back to her but. . .”

“But?”

Beatrix’s stepped back into the office so she was no longer craning to look at Josephine. “Then I met you. Well, then I got to know you.” She couldn’t seem to stand still as the words just flowed out of her. “You made everyday a little easier. And then, I went to help Redcliffe and the mages, and I saw everything that could happen. . .And I was scared, Josie. Everything became real. I saw things that no person should have to see. I didn’t want to put anyone in any danger, so I pushed everyone away until I thought I was going to die. Buried with Haven and everyone I couldn’t save. So I did the stupidest thing I could have done. I hurt you, and for that I am so, genuinely sorry. After Haven, I couldn’t face you. I wouldn’t have even known what to say if had. And I just keep fucking up every time we reach a place where things are good.” 

Beatrix took a deep breath and tried to steady herself for what she knew needed to be said next. “There is a part of me that will always love Max. I can’t just stop.” She hurried her next words as she saw Josephine’s face fall. “But there is a part of me that loves you too, I think.”

Josephine’s eyes could not have met Beatrix’s faster. Her face was pink with surprise and embarrassment. “Why did you never say anything, Beatrix?” She gingerly rounded the desk still clearly searching for answers in Beatrix’s face.

“I didn’t know how.” Beatrix chuckled darkly. “‘Hey, I have a girlfriend in another version of reality’ isn’t exactly the easiest subject to bring up!”

Josephine placed her hands on either side of Beatrix’s face and wordlessly wiped away the tears the Beatrix had not even realized she had shed. “Thank you for telling me, Beatrix.” She leaned in and placed the softest kiss on Beatrix’s cheek. “I think I might have a part of me that loves you too.” She laughed in shock at her own words and covered her smile with her hand in delight.

The two just stood there for a while, saying nothing, just existing together in their new truth. It was Josephine who finally broke the peace, “It is late, and while I have many things to discuss with you, they can wait until morning.” Before Beatrix could argue, Josephine silenced her by pressing her finger against the other woman’s lips. “I do not think that either of us are in any state to discuss business, anyways.” She slowly stepped away from their embrace, and headed to her desk. She leaned down and blew out the candle, not bothering to make sense of any of the piles on her desk before hand. For a brief moment, Beatrix thought maybe Josephine would take her hand, but the thought was dashed as Josephine strode past her to the little hallway that lead to her room. “Good night, Beatrix.”

“Good night, Josie.” Beatrix smiled to herself before turning on her heel and heading in the direction of her own room. 

Sleep found its way to Beatrix rather quickly. With all the excitement of the day, she had half expected to be tossing and turning for half the night trying to find the most comfortable part of the mattress. Instead, she drifted off the the crackling of a fire and pleasant thoughts of what could lay in her future here in Thedas. 

_  
It felt like she had been asleep for days when her eyelids finally managed to pry them open. Her head throbbed, and her eyes hurt as she adjusted to the light saturating every inch of her room. It was later than she had hoped to wake up, but she clearly had needed the sleep. She stretched as much as she could in her sitting position, taking extra time to extend the especially sore spots of her body from practice the day before. Her neck audibly cracked as she rolled her head back and forth, from one shoulder to the other. Satisfied and feeling infinitely better, she opened her eyes all the way.  
_

_  
Red. The unnatural light emanated from every surface. Even the sky itself was illuminated with the red glow of a Lyrium sun. Everything she laid eyes on seemed to be infested with the substance. Her breath caught in her throat and she scrambled backwards in her bed, trying desperately to escape it all. As soon as her back met the headboard, she knew that it was too late.  
_

_  
She felt the oddly warm stone press against her skin, and she choked back a sob as her mind raced with all of Varric’s warnings. A mirror. She needed a mirror. She gingerly made her way across the bed and placed her feet on the only patch of clear floor next to the bed. As slowly and with as much care as she could, Beatrix made her way over to her closet, narrowly avoiding stepping onto lyrium infested floor in the process.  
_

_  
She thanked every god she could when she opened the closet and saw that it was devoid of all Lyrium. She scurried inside and closed the door to all the horrors on the other side. Leaning against the solid wood, she tried to steady her breath. Her chin quivered, and tears started to form at the corner of her eyes. Beatrix knew she could not have a panic attack. Not now. Not here.  
_

_  
She bit down on her lip as hard as she could, willing whatever nightmare she was trapped in to end. She tasted blood as her teeth broke through skin, but she didn’t wake up. Shakily, she pushed herself away from the door and turned to face the mirror. She almost didn’t to look and see if she was infected of not, but she knew she had to. Steeling her resolve, she turned around and craned her head over her neck to get a good look at her back.  
_

_  
Nothing. She was fine. Relief washed over in what felt like a tsunami sized wave. She wasn’t infected, but she was still stuck here. A part of Beatrix wanted to stay in the closet, safe and protected forever, but she knew that the world needed her. She couldn’t help but giggle and the irony of her situation. Steeling her resolve once again, she pulled the door open and started her trek across her room to the stairs.  
_

_  
Once she descended to the main level of the keep, Beatrix found that the Lyrium infestation was not as bad as she had previously thought. Though, she seemed to be the only living soul within its once more dilapidated walls.  
_

_  
“Hello?!”  
_

_  
Beatrix could swear she heard a howl from far off in the distance.  
_

_  
Before she could think on it further, she noticed the Lyrium was pulsating and visible waves of tainted magic were coming off of it. The pulsing stone was almost inviting. It wanted to be touched. It wanted to comfort Beatrix. To heal her of all her pain. To help her forget. She reached out. The seconds feeling like hours. Her heart pounding loud and even in her ears. Her fingers were a mere breadth away when a single tear rolled off of her cheek and stained the sleeve of her night clothes, breaking whatever trance she had found herself in.  
_

_  
She recoiled from the stone, breathing heavily. That was two times she had nearly fallen victim to Lyrium. It was growing stronger.  
_

_  
“Beatrix.” The word was barely above a whisper, but Beatrix heard it. She looked around wildly trying to figure out where it was coming from. “Beatrix.” The second time it was louder, but just barely.  
_

_  
“Hello!?!” Beatrix desperately started wandering down the Great Hall, trying to locate the source. As she paced, she was only haphazardly mindful of where she stepped. The voice taking precedence over everything else.  
_

_  
“Beatrix.” There is was again, barely more than a rasp, but it was unmistakable. Beatrix knew in her bones that it was Josephine.  
_

_  
She was almost at the main entrance. Just a few more steps, and she knew she would have her love in her arms. She quickened her pace, all but ignoring where she stepped. The lyrium burned her skin where she stepped a little too close to a cluster in the floor.  
_

_  
She threw herself at the door and pushed with all her might. It was heavier than she remembered it being, but she persisted. She didn’t even register her own screams of frustration until her throat started to burn. Finally, the door gave way, and Beatrix had to stifle a scream of a different kind.  
_

_  
What lay on the other side of the door was not Josephine.  
_

_  
It was larger. As large as a house. With coarse black fur. And long, sharp claws. It’s maw was coated in dried blood. It snarled at her. A low, guttural sound that shook her too her core. Teeth were blindingly white. In sharp contrast to the black and red that made up the rest of its being. It’s six eyes glowed red. As red as the lyrium that infested the very ground on which she stood. Red smoke seemed to roll off of the creature. Especially the eyes. The eyes. Those glowing orbs as red as blood held her in place. Kept her screams lodged inside her throat. She smelled the burning of her own flesh as the lyrium at her feet ate away at her skin. But she could do nothing but stand. Frozen.  
_

_  
The moment seemed to stretch on for eternity. Just the wolf and Beatrix. Alone. In a hellscape of Beatrix’s worst nightmares.  
_

_  
“Beatrix?” The voice broke her out of her reverie. She found herself once more in control of her limbs and dared to turn away from the monster.  
_

_  
She had been right. The voice belonged to Josephine. But this was a mere shadow of the woman. Beatrix’s felt her heart rip out of her chest as she gazed upon the elated smile plastered on the face of the woman she loved. She couldn’t help it as she gaze slid away from that precious sight to the lyrium shards growing out of the side of Josephine’s cheek, running down her neck and onto her shoulder. Her once beautiful dress was reduced to ruined tatters from whatever hell she had endured her. Slowly she shambled forward, more lyrium than Josie.  
_

__  
Behind her, Beatrix felt the hot breath of the wolf-monster as it towered over her. Deep within her mind she heard a low voice, familiar and yet strange, utter, “Banal nadas, ma falon.”  



End file.
